Back to the Keyboard

Miss me?  I'm back!  :-)  

I had to take some time off.  Last Tuesday I had shoulder surgery but in the weeks before, it just hurt to breathe let alone type so the little typing I did - I saved for the youcaring.com site as we campaigned to fund raise for Bradley's Service Dog.  I tried to give the site some of my best writing, some of the best of me.  I have a list saved of all the wonderful things that people offered in their comments to support and to love Bradley.  The pen IS mightier than the sword...and the pen is also gentler than a whisper.  The memory of what you might have said can fade, but on paper...they remain.  When Bradley was born we received emails and comments to us through our Facebook pages.  When the shock wore off and I found myself going back more than once to reread the words I knew I needed to preserve them.  So I have them all safely saved, now I need to print them out because well...I just don't trust these newfangled computer thingies...they could eat those words and spit them out as jargon if I'm not careful.  And maybe simply because they still make my eyes start to mist when I go back and read them...well, they are worth saving.  The same goes in our quest to fund a service dog for Bradley.  The words, the comments...the love inside them, those are the ones that have to be cherished and saved.  Someday, Bradley will want to know about the love that surrounded him and held him close.  He'll want to relive those moments and revel in that feeling of being so completely loved.  Because let's face it, there will be rough days ahead.  

For now, the whole year ahead will be so LONG as we await the first meeting with his new dog, not to mention the time after as we wait to bring that dog into our home permanently.  I'm turning 40 in a few weeks so adding a furry child to our life is a much better option than giving Bradley a human child to play with. ;-)  It will all be worth it when we bring the dog home.  Bradley will have a constant companion, no matter what he does there will always be someone there who loves him like Mom and Dad do; but calms him in ways we wish we could unravel.  The dog will hear him in ways that I can't, and that is my superpower.  Excited?  Oh yeah!  Patient...oh Ye - No, not really...but trying!  Blessed?  More than we deserve, but not more than Bradley deserves or needs.  So we just try to be better, to live better, to be worthy.  

As the summer unfolds around us, we are as always facing new challenges.  Our Oldest is going into 6th grade which is Middle School here...suddenly her planned school has me a nervous wreck.  She's moving into being a tween...how that happened at 11 I am not certain, but I am certain I don't care for it.  She's in a hurry to grow up, which all kids are.  I am in a hurry to catch up.  Things she showed no interest in are now paramount to her very existence and I missed the turn-off to that road to crazy.  One of us will get our feet under us and then the other will just stumble after...I am hoping to right myself before she does...otherwise she'll be just dragging me along.  The eight year old is turning nine in August...it's not that she's getting so old...it's more like...she's only going to be what?  I've checked her birth certificate, it's really only nine.  And sometimes she even acts like she's almost nine which is just so confusing for her Dad and I.  One minute I'm talking the burgeoning of astrophysics and how she's going to create the engine to get her through the Milky Way to the other side and the next she's running around in her obnoxious phase being an eight year old brat. If I don't get my feet under me with this one...she'll just leave me behind, there will be no pity dragging on her part.  Yikes.  

As for Bradley?  Well, there is always a new challenge for Bradley.  The last month he's had an extremely high amount of air in his stomach with no acceptable external explanations.  So while we're battling this issue that often makes him have no appetite, we have to figure out how to increase his caloric intake by almost 250 calories before November...ah, hmmm....  oh...and it's summer...he needs 20 ounces of water as well, everyday.  Me, speechless?  No really, is that possible?  Well, here I am - not sure what to say.  And I guess that's okay - climbing this new mountain is taking most of my strength and breath so who has room to say much anyway.  For now he's on an antibiotic because he has staph...in that way doctors have where they scare the bejesus out of you then deliver the good news...  he told us it wasn't MRSA, but the other one...  Thanks Doc, didn't know that it might be either.  And this is what we've come too... he tells me that once it clears up use a cloth and give him a daily diluted sponge bath with the bleach bath - and I said okay because it made perfect sense to me.  With his button he shouldn't sit in the bathtub with the diluted bleach...major potential trouble there; so, sponge bath it is.  I don't know how he gets these things I really don't.  But for the next week, he's bathing in Hibiclens because I don't need it anymore and I think he really does.  

Brain wise, he's amazing.  He's going to amaze.  His Pediatrician was correct, he was a prophet.  He looked into Bradley's eyes and he glimpsed at who he would be.  Bradley is learning more and more signs as he is in a mimic stage so when the Speech Therapist shows a new sign, he wants to copy it.  The lovely thing is he is remembering more and more of them.  And he's spontaneously signing - almost always about food, but that doesn't bother me too much.  When you ask him what he wants, he'll sign the non-foodstuff.  But for now, he'll tell me he wants to eat, he wants to have his milk, his water, his cookie...and the new favorites Cheese and Bologna!   He's now a huge fan of bologna and signing his desire for it at whim.  You would think this would indicate smooth sailing, but just as one never quite knows what is going on inside bologna...one never really knows what's going on inside Bradley either.  But that's okay.  He frustrates, he confuses, and then he surprises and rewards.  His potential is in a box with several locked compartments: my job is to find the right key for each compartment.  The difficulty is trying to juggle three boxes, several locked compartments, and several keys as I try find the right key for the right compartment for the right kiddo.  I guess if the girls don't start shaving the wrong body parts and Bradley doesn't start wearing a training bra then we'll know I'm doing alright.  Good grief!  

Happy Summer All!