Happy Halloween!!!
So we started the day a little dubious. I woke up and trudged down the hall to wake the grumps, I mean the girls. They both have alarms...and they both hear them and turn them off. So I go in and make sure they have feet on the floor to make sure the girls are awake. On my way to Sydney’s room I hear a racket outside...it’s the wind! All I could think was “No, no, no...not today!” The idea is to keep Bradley out of the wind, he gets sick when the winds get to him, but today there’s a costume parade at school. Ugh!!! But as Walt Disney used to say “Keep moving forward.” Once Bradley gets up, it’s time to dress in his costume for school. He went with Ironman again...loves him some Tony... actually, he loves the gloves that came with the sui; so much so, when he lost his gloves from last year, we purchased a clearance costume, (next size up) just for the gloves. Turns out he still loves the gloves and despite how much he has grown, still wore the smaller sized costume from last year...apparently, he hasn’t grown THAT much.
His teacher calls me about the wind. There is a Halloween parade at school...is the wind too much? I tell her I’m on my way so I can decide when I get there and if it’s a no, then I can be the bad guy and not anyone from his class. She just laughs at that...and it makes me wonder, are you laughing because you don’t care if you’re the bad guy, or...because I’m funny? Anyway, he is doing great in class until he sees me there, then he is over by me and not wanting to do anything but leave. I don’t know if he remembers the costume parade and so knows what to do, or if he thought I had come to bust him up. So I bust him out and we follow his classmates to the blacktop. Once there, he sees his old class and I watch him move his way through people until he finds his favorite aide and reaches for a hug, and then his besties, and he hugs them and just stands near them for a few minutes. And then he sees his old teacher, and he walks through the others to get to her and hugs her too. But then he moved away from them (they were busy after all) and he sat on the ground near me and just played with my hand and tried to stay awake. I can’t help it, I think he was sad. Once the wait was over and we were able to walk, he perked up and got in line, ready to join the parade. Again, I think he remembers doing this last year. Halfway through, he even started waving to people, and they were waving back to him, it was nice. We did our lap, but then he was done. Winds were picking up and he asked me for water, by then his teacher decided everyone was done and led the way back to class.
So it was different. Some parts were the same, but it was so clear that he was not a part of his other classroom anymore, and I think that today might have been his first real understanding of that change, and I think it made him sad. A busy day, so no written feedback today, but they had prepped a break area so he could have the option of a small rest once we got back to his class, considering he was just wiped out from the winds and the heat, I think he probably took a nap today.
We were slow to head out tonight since we weren’t quite sure who was doing what. Sydney was still recovering so she didn’t plan to dress up. Madison wanted to go to her friend’s house so they could hang out, eat, and enjoy a bonfire. So we dropped her off and took Ironman and Sydney trick or treating. We practiced at home without an audience and got some pretty good “trick” “treat” approximations, but we weren’t sure what we’d get out in the world.
Last year, with just Eric and I, Bradley said a lot of Hi’s and thank you’s. Given a year to grow and develop, we didn’t know what to expect. A pretty good memory was definitely not on the list of expectations. Eric took Bradley next door to trick or treat, then brought him to the car...Bradley really wanted to keep going and wasn’t pleased to be put into the car instead. So he remembered that part. And this year, most people were sitting outside; which was great, unless you are an eight years old and want to ring the doorbell. But he got over that, eventually. The first house, he made an almost clear “trick, treat” to a woman who remembered him from all the other years he’s come by. He told her Hi, thank you, and bye. Almost a full conversation!
For the next few houses he kept trying trick, treat...sometimes both, some times one or the other. Sometimes he was so interested in the decorations he couldn’t do more than point and kind of say ohh. The best was him waving and saying hi to the ghost decoration in the doorframe behind a woman. He was thrilled to see dogs and babies, commenting: puppy or baby while pointing at them. He was infatuated with all the Stitch costumes, and really aware of his peers as they approached or
passed by him, telling them Hi and Bye. He still believes that if he comes to your door and you give him candy then you must be a best friend so we should go inside and hang out. But we kept taking his hand and guiding him back to the sidewalk. The neighborhood we were in had a lot of slightly raised stoops, so Bradley always had to climb a few steps, so that was tough as it got darker because he couldn’t always judge the steps; but between the three of us, we kept him from falling down or missing a step, and what great practice.
With Sydney walking beside him (Dad for the scary houses), Bradley survived the scary side of Halloween, and the fun side for about an hour before he started to get tired and was done. We walked him back round to our car, the went to dinner, where he managed almost half a chicken enchilada and then fell fast asleep at the table. This Halloween Trick or Treating is exhausting! We picked up Madison on our way home, got him in and into his jammies, and he’s been lights out ever since. Sweet boy was tired!! I don’t blame him, we’re all pretty tired at this house.
It was great to have one of the girls with us tonight. Bradley loved having Sydney come along. But then, everything is more fun when he has one of his sisters with him, tonight was a glowing example of that. For Eric and I, we wish there was some way to have Halloween every night, just so we could hear his little voice more often. It was a lot of fun for all of us!
Anyway, that’s it folks. Tonight wraps up the last Blog of the 31 For 21 Challenge to bring Awareness and Acceptance of those with Down Syndrome for 2018. Another year in the books. It’s been quite the journey this month, lots of ups and downs (no pun truly intended) but then that’s just the way life goes. There are ups and downs, triumphs and disasters, joys and sorrows. An extra chromosome doesn’t change any of that, because that’s just living. I think though, when you accept that extra something special brought by a third copy of the twenty first chromosome, you accept the acknowledegment of the wonder and joy that comes in the simplest steps, the smallest words, the most magical moments of just living, and being, and loving. No one said it would be easy...they only said it would be worth it. Learning to make life happen, celebrating the smallest victories, loving the people God gives you: see THAT each day, live in THOSE moments, and maybe you can live your
best life every day - and THAT would be worth it.
Until next time! Good night and Happy Halloween! Perfect timing for Bradley to be up for the first time tonight. Sigh.... Darn scary clown anyway!
Wednesday, October 31, 2018
Tuesday, October 30, 2018
If Not One Thing It’s Another
I had to get Bradley early from school because he had a rash and his new classroom staff kind of panicked. So I called his doctor to ask about the injections he got yesterday and potential side effects. He’s had them before with no reactions so I really didn’t think that was it, but while I waited for the doc to call me back I headed over to school and picked him up. Based on experience and then talking with his doctor, we know this is the result of his body reacting to the acid in his stomach working through his system and attacking him through a bowel movement. The worst ones can cause this reaction in him because his system is so sensitive and fragile. Our best recourse was for me to bathe him, keep his skin out in the air for as long possible, put Aquaphor on the rash to provide a protective barrier, and then stop his antibiotic. There are times he just can’t handle the antibiotics. I guess this is just one of those times. Considering his body recovered from the blisters so well I was happy to stop the antibiotic before it can really attack his skin. Now he just needs to heal up the rash.
We think his g-tube might be too small as well. He is showing a lot of guarding behaviors regarding it, which leaves me to think positive that the stem is too short and the balloon is putting pressure against the inside of his stomach. It was loose this morning, which is unusual because I just changed it out to weeks ago. So it was still relatively clear and Bradley was able to squirm it right out of its hole, which was a surprise to me - he hasn’t been able to do that before. I actually had to call Madison to come help me put it back in because he was fighting it. Two weeks ago, I popped the broken balloon button out and his new one in and he never noticed...today he noticed. Hopefully, his GI and I will be talking tomorrow.
As for the girls, they are starting to feel better. Finally! Madison still has a large ulcer in her throat, but she’s either used to it, or it just doesn’t hurt as much. Sydney still has a bit of a sore throat, but she still has ulcers in her throat too, just deeper in apparently. But they have better color and their spirits are in a better place, so we know that they are definitely on the mend.
Their school had their first band concert tonight, we are ecstatic that they were both healthy enough to go to the concert, that they each played was a bonus, Madison was able to play all her solo parts and Sydney even managed to play some of hers too, icing in the cake. It’s a new band director, so he’s going to take some getting used too for sure, but he’s excited and the kids like him, so the rest of us will just get there when we do. We’re almost to the end of the first trimester for school, which means the dance teacher will be back in trimester two and Madison will start dancing again, and I always look forward to that! The next band concert will be sometime around Christmas, so that’ll be fun to watch; it would be even better if my kids were healthy leading up to it.
I just can’t believe we are so close to the Holidays already. I do this challenge every year, and no sooner do we hit Halloween and end the Challenge, but the Holidays come in fast for us. I always am trying to stay ahead and make each year a little more festive early to get Bradley to understand the Season, but seems like there is always something that surprises us and slows everything down. Then before we realize it the holidays are over and the new year has begun. Next year will be busier than this year, which is a little daunting. Our Junior is getting ready for her Senior year, College, and for her - Volleyball becomes more competitive at this age and we will be going all over the place. The Freshman will be wrapping up her first year of High School, getting into the groove for her Sophomore year, and her age group will be a little more competitive. The good news is that whereever she goes, her sister will already be there so it should make the traveling a little easier. Eric and I will have to do even more divide and conquer this year, which sucks because one of us misses out on watching one of them play. But sometimes, the bonding that happens is just as important. So hopefully, it will be a good year. Good teams would be a nice bonus too! But time will tell on that.
For now, time to figure out this Halloween thing tomorrow! Have a great night all.
We think his g-tube might be too small as well. He is showing a lot of guarding behaviors regarding it, which leaves me to think positive that the stem is too short and the balloon is putting pressure against the inside of his stomach. It was loose this morning, which is unusual because I just changed it out to weeks ago. So it was still relatively clear and Bradley was able to squirm it right out of its hole, which was a surprise to me - he hasn’t been able to do that before. I actually had to call Madison to come help me put it back in because he was fighting it. Two weeks ago, I popped the broken balloon button out and his new one in and he never noticed...today he noticed. Hopefully, his GI and I will be talking tomorrow.
As for the girls, they are starting to feel better. Finally! Madison still has a large ulcer in her throat, but she’s either used to it, or it just doesn’t hurt as much. Sydney still has a bit of a sore throat, but she still has ulcers in her throat too, just deeper in apparently. But they have better color and their spirits are in a better place, so we know that they are definitely on the mend.
Their school had their first band concert tonight, we are ecstatic that they were both healthy enough to go to the concert, that they each played was a bonus, Madison was able to play all her solo parts and Sydney even managed to play some of hers too, icing in the cake. It’s a new band director, so he’s going to take some getting used too for sure, but he’s excited and the kids like him, so the rest of us will just get there when we do. We’re almost to the end of the first trimester for school, which means the dance teacher will be back in trimester two and Madison will start dancing again, and I always look forward to that! The next band concert will be sometime around Christmas, so that’ll be fun to watch; it would be even better if my kids were healthy leading up to it.
I just can’t believe we are so close to the Holidays already. I do this challenge every year, and no sooner do we hit Halloween and end the Challenge, but the Holidays come in fast for us. I always am trying to stay ahead and make each year a little more festive early to get Bradley to understand the Season, but seems like there is always something that surprises us and slows everything down. Then before we realize it the holidays are over and the new year has begun. Next year will be busier than this year, which is a little daunting. Our Junior is getting ready for her Senior year, College, and for her - Volleyball becomes more competitive at this age and we will be going all over the place. The Freshman will be wrapping up her first year of High School, getting into the groove for her Sophomore year, and her age group will be a little more competitive. The good news is that whereever she goes, her sister will already be there so it should make the traveling a little easier. Eric and I will have to do even more divide and conquer this year, which sucks because one of us misses out on watching one of them play. But sometimes, the bonding that happens is just as important. So hopefully, it will be a good year. Good teams would be a nice bonus too! But time will tell on that.
For now, time to figure out this Halloween thing tomorrow! Have a great night all.
Monday, October 29, 2018
When Monday Turns Out Great
Day 29... as the month is coming to a close, the Awareness has tried to get the world to see our children with Down Syndrome as people, as loving little lights that are proving to be the very best part of who we are as humans. Bradley is not a judgmental little boy that chooses to hurt people because he can, he has little idiosyncrasies that sometimes make us think he is trying to do things intentionally...but even then, there are things happening in his brain that he can’t control...the why it’s wrong, the how to stop himself. His lack of impulse control is at level Epic. If it were a super power in some video game...he’d be level 99. But his capacity for sweetness is just as compelling and just as high on that scale.
When Bradley got up this morning, I told him he was going to school. He was excited. Sometimes, I am not sure how much he truly understands, but today I know he did. He was floating between all of us as I was getting his medicines ready, and when I told him we needed to get dressed, he was ready - taking my hand and walking down the hallway with me. He was smiles and light. He wasn’t asking for his movie because he knows he never gets it on School mornings, and he was showing me his preferred shirt and definitely showing me the socks he wanted to wear. He chose his fish socks, as they are his current favorites. They are a little creepy to me because it looks like the fish is swallowing his little feet; but whatever, they make him happy. We did medicine, we got dressed, and got shoes on...then he sat with his tiles in the living room while I prepped his lunch. He was patient for a jacket and when it was time for his harness, I told him his blocks couldn’t go to school. For the first time ever, he turned around and set them gently on the bookshelf, then turned back to me. He’s never done this before; especially with quiet compliance, I was momentarily stunned. I wanted to gush, but sometimes if we make a big deal of it, it becomes an issue of control. So I contained myself and told him, “good job, let’s zip you up.” And off we went.
When the bus arrived, he was all smiles and when our driver said good morning and asked if he was ready he said “Yeah!” And off he went. I worried about all three of them today, but mostly him and Sydney. But they all did great. Bradley took about a twenty minute nap, and then at afternoon recess he went and joined the older general Ed kids playing kickball. He was playing with them, and they were playing with him. They encouraged him to play with them and he even rolled the ball for one of them to kick (that might be a serve, not sure how kickball goes anymore) the point is he played and he was welcomed to play. Eric and I both wish we could have seen it, but we’re just so pleased it happened. And then after school, coming off the bus I got the sweetest hug and “Hi.” Music, just the sweetest music.
Eric met Bradley’s bus with me because it was time for Bradley’s Physical, and flu shot. Though he is a mere 51.2 lbs and 47 1/2 inches tall - he is mighty and fierce. He is getting to be harder and harder for me to hold on my own when we have to go to these doctors. With Eric’s heart issues going on, it’s almost beyond him as well. These type appointment are now leaving us with a lot of concerns about how we’re going to get through these things as Bradley gets older and ever stronger. Just when I think he’s starting to understand more, these appointments prove that he understands the parts about being held down and pain, and is oblivious to reason. It scares me. This little dynamo is falling less than 10% height and weight on a growth chart, and yet he’s a mighty warrior. Somehow, before his next Peds GI appointment on December 10th, I’m supposed to get him above 53 lbs...if not I have to find a way to add more Pediasure into his diet to increase his calories...which translates to more tube feeds if necessary...great time to be getting sick and not wanting to eat...sigh.
Tonight I used a familiar method to get more calories in him, I dip bread in soup or sauce to get him to eat. He can’t separate thinner liquids and solids in his mouth, so those need a bridge food, I use bread. After he ate a whole piece of bread this way, I then was able to sneak in two mini raviolis, followed by the rewards of another dipped piece of bread and then sherbet. I’ll take it as a win.
As for the little ladies, they both made it through school. Sydney is somehow not behind in her classes, and neither is Madison, though she had to work hard to get caught up again. I was in contact with the Coach at the High School that seems to like Sydney; and is willing to talk to me, to ask for him to not push Sydney too hard during conditioning today. He was very sweet actually, because Sydney said he told her to pace herself, or he’d pace her himself. With her throat so sore, it’s harder to keep her asthma in control...but she did okay. Madison came home and took a two hour nap because she just needs it. I am hoping the sore throat goes away very soon. Poor kids!
And of course, tomorrow is the first band concert. My trumpeter will tough through it...my french hornist... we’ll have to see. She’ll be there to support, but not sure if I’m going to hear them play together again or not. Eric and Bradley will probably stay home. Second day back to school after eleven days...little guy is going to be tired. After the workout that he gave dad at the doctor... not so sure that dad isn’t more worn out than Bradley.
The house is sleeping now. We have some things we have to look at with Bradley, some not so fun like a sleep study and an EEG, but for the most part...he is doing really good and his health is pretty stable. THAT, is a Blessing for sure. Things need to happen, but nothing needs to happen tomorrow or even next week. We have some time; and often, time is not a luxury we have with him.
When Bradley got up this morning, I told him he was going to school. He was excited. Sometimes, I am not sure how much he truly understands, but today I know he did. He was floating between all of us as I was getting his medicines ready, and when I told him we needed to get dressed, he was ready - taking my hand and walking down the hallway with me. He was smiles and light. He wasn’t asking for his movie because he knows he never gets it on School mornings, and he was showing me his preferred shirt and definitely showing me the socks he wanted to wear. He chose his fish socks, as they are his current favorites. They are a little creepy to me because it looks like the fish is swallowing his little feet; but whatever, they make him happy. We did medicine, we got dressed, and got shoes on...then he sat with his tiles in the living room while I prepped his lunch. He was patient for a jacket and when it was time for his harness, I told him his blocks couldn’t go to school. For the first time ever, he turned around and set them gently on the bookshelf, then turned back to me. He’s never done this before; especially with quiet compliance, I was momentarily stunned. I wanted to gush, but sometimes if we make a big deal of it, it becomes an issue of control. So I contained myself and told him, “good job, let’s zip you up.” And off we went.
When the bus arrived, he was all smiles and when our driver said good morning and asked if he was ready he said “Yeah!” And off he went. I worried about all three of them today, but mostly him and Sydney. But they all did great. Bradley took about a twenty minute nap, and then at afternoon recess he went and joined the older general Ed kids playing kickball. He was playing with them, and they were playing with him. They encouraged him to play with them and he even rolled the ball for one of them to kick (that might be a serve, not sure how kickball goes anymore) the point is he played and he was welcomed to play. Eric and I both wish we could have seen it, but we’re just so pleased it happened. And then after school, coming off the bus I got the sweetest hug and “Hi.” Music, just the sweetest music.
Eric met Bradley’s bus with me because it was time for Bradley’s Physical, and flu shot. Though he is a mere 51.2 lbs and 47 1/2 inches tall - he is mighty and fierce. He is getting to be harder and harder for me to hold on my own when we have to go to these doctors. With Eric’s heart issues going on, it’s almost beyond him as well. These type appointment are now leaving us with a lot of concerns about how we’re going to get through these things as Bradley gets older and ever stronger. Just when I think he’s starting to understand more, these appointments prove that he understands the parts about being held down and pain, and is oblivious to reason. It scares me. This little dynamo is falling less than 10% height and weight on a growth chart, and yet he’s a mighty warrior. Somehow, before his next Peds GI appointment on December 10th, I’m supposed to get him above 53 lbs...if not I have to find a way to add more Pediasure into his diet to increase his calories...which translates to more tube feeds if necessary...great time to be getting sick and not wanting to eat...sigh.
Tonight I used a familiar method to get more calories in him, I dip bread in soup or sauce to get him to eat. He can’t separate thinner liquids and solids in his mouth, so those need a bridge food, I use bread. After he ate a whole piece of bread this way, I then was able to sneak in two mini raviolis, followed by the rewards of another dipped piece of bread and then sherbet. I’ll take it as a win.
As for the little ladies, they both made it through school. Sydney is somehow not behind in her classes, and neither is Madison, though she had to work hard to get caught up again. I was in contact with the Coach at the High School that seems to like Sydney; and is willing to talk to me, to ask for him to not push Sydney too hard during conditioning today. He was very sweet actually, because Sydney said he told her to pace herself, or he’d pace her himself. With her throat so sore, it’s harder to keep her asthma in control...but she did okay. Madison came home and took a two hour nap because she just needs it. I am hoping the sore throat goes away very soon. Poor kids!
And of course, tomorrow is the first band concert. My trumpeter will tough through it...my french hornist... we’ll have to see. She’ll be there to support, but not sure if I’m going to hear them play together again or not. Eric and Bradley will probably stay home. Second day back to school after eleven days...little guy is going to be tired. After the workout that he gave dad at the doctor... not so sure that dad isn’t more worn out than Bradley.
The house is sleeping now. We have some things we have to look at with Bradley, some not so fun like a sleep study and an EEG, but for the most part...he is doing really good and his health is pretty stable. THAT, is a Blessing for sure. Things need to happen, but nothing needs to happen tomorrow or even next week. We have some time; and often, time is not a luxury we have with him.
Sunday, October 28, 2018
Nervously Waiting For Monday
Our plan is to return Bradley to school tomorrow. It’s been ten days at home as he’s battled through this Hand, Foot, Mouth disease. His sisters have battled as well. With them we know how they’re doing because they tell us and we see the blisters in their mouths...still today. Bradley can only tell us by how he acts. It’s hard for sure.
The girls are still suffering sore throats, and with no other symptoms there’s only so much Motrin and Tylenol they can take to help, and even then it hasn’t been enough. Salt water gargling, fluids, hot and cold...ice cream, popsicles, sherbet...hot lemonade and even tried lime juice and honey in warm water to help their throats (that numbs it short term by the way).
As for Bradley, lots of cold stuff: smoothies, ice cream, sherbet, and popsicles. And we tried to keep track of his moods; trying to redirect as his frustration overtakes him and he starts losing it. At those points, we just took the time to sit down with him, snuggle him close and usually he took a nap. At one point this last week, I was trying to do his meds and change his diaper. I got as far as getting him down to his onesie, and he wouldn’t stop crying. Long, loud wails that were just tearing at me. So I picked him up, sat down on his bed and wrapped him in his weighted blanket, we snuggled close and I just rocked him, and waited. Within five minutes, he had stopped crying, he settled in against me. Another five minutes and he was fast asleep, his head on my shoulder and his fingers holding onto the blanket. Red flag that he just wasn’t feeling very good at all.
Seeing Madison and Sydney still fighting the pain of the symptoms- I’m grateful Eric and I decided to not send him to school the rest of the week, I didn’t realize how long these effects actually last. Some lessons take a long time to learn what we know now...knowing now, we wouldn’t have even given it a consideration. I am wondering to if letting Madison make it back to school so quickly has been worth it. She fought her way back once her fever broke because she had no blisters anywhere, although a wicked painful sore throat. This weekend we saw the blisters in her mouth. Poor kid.
Sydney missed the whole week because she couldn’t kick the fever. And then she got a few blisters on her hands and feet. And though those have faded and are going away - she is still holding on to the horrible sore throat. But she plans to return to school tomorrow and hopes to get caught back up and get back into the swing of things.
I’m nervous about Bradley giong too school, a little bit about Sydney too. The good news is, Bradley sees the doctor tomorrow afternoon, and then the girls are going to the doctor on Tuesday. Follow up is imperative so things get better, especially because Bradley and Sydney have been down this road before when they both moved from Hand and Foot to Strep, but for Bradley - he got Strep again after Strep that then went into a Sinus Infection that resulted in a diaper rash that would take us a year to overcome. Dear God, please don’t let us go back down that road. We just need to get three healthy kids back in this house and then keep moving forward.
Somehow, we have to get through a first band concert on Tuesday and then determine if/when/what will be our Halloween festivities this year. If throats are still sore or tender, they may each get a tub of their favorite ice cream to eat over what I hope would be a few days and call it a win... For right now, Wednesday seems like a lifetime away, right now...one day at a time.
On a sad note, baseball is over and we have to wait until April (or is it March again?); whatever, for the games to begin again. But at least on a weekend where all the plans had to be cancelled in order to help some kids heal and try to get better, we had baseball to watch.
The girls are still suffering sore throats, and with no other symptoms there’s only so much Motrin and Tylenol they can take to help, and even then it hasn’t been enough. Salt water gargling, fluids, hot and cold...ice cream, popsicles, sherbet...hot lemonade and even tried lime juice and honey in warm water to help their throats (that numbs it short term by the way).
As for Bradley, lots of cold stuff: smoothies, ice cream, sherbet, and popsicles. And we tried to keep track of his moods; trying to redirect as his frustration overtakes him and he starts losing it. At those points, we just took the time to sit down with him, snuggle him close and usually he took a nap. At one point this last week, I was trying to do his meds and change his diaper. I got as far as getting him down to his onesie, and he wouldn’t stop crying. Long, loud wails that were just tearing at me. So I picked him up, sat down on his bed and wrapped him in his weighted blanket, we snuggled close and I just rocked him, and waited. Within five minutes, he had stopped crying, he settled in against me. Another five minutes and he was fast asleep, his head on my shoulder and his fingers holding onto the blanket. Red flag that he just wasn’t feeling very good at all.
Seeing Madison and Sydney still fighting the pain of the symptoms- I’m grateful Eric and I decided to not send him to school the rest of the week, I didn’t realize how long these effects actually last. Some lessons take a long time to learn what we know now...knowing now, we wouldn’t have even given it a consideration. I am wondering to if letting Madison make it back to school so quickly has been worth it. She fought her way back once her fever broke because she had no blisters anywhere, although a wicked painful sore throat. This weekend we saw the blisters in her mouth. Poor kid.
Sydney missed the whole week because she couldn’t kick the fever. And then she got a few blisters on her hands and feet. And though those have faded and are going away - she is still holding on to the horrible sore throat. But she plans to return to school tomorrow and hopes to get caught back up and get back into the swing of things.
I’m nervous about Bradley giong too school, a little bit about Sydney too. The good news is, Bradley sees the doctor tomorrow afternoon, and then the girls are going to the doctor on Tuesday. Follow up is imperative so things get better, especially because Bradley and Sydney have been down this road before when they both moved from Hand and Foot to Strep, but for Bradley - he got Strep again after Strep that then went into a Sinus Infection that resulted in a diaper rash that would take us a year to overcome. Dear God, please don’t let us go back down that road. We just need to get three healthy kids back in this house and then keep moving forward.
Somehow, we have to get through a first band concert on Tuesday and then determine if/when/what will be our Halloween festivities this year. If throats are still sore or tender, they may each get a tub of their favorite ice cream to eat over what I hope would be a few days and call it a win... For right now, Wednesday seems like a lifetime away, right now...one day at a time.
On a sad note, baseball is over and we have to wait until April (or is it March again?); whatever, for the games to begin again. But at least on a weekend where all the plans had to be cancelled in order to help some kids heal and try to get better, we had baseball to watch.
Saturday, October 27, 2018
No Training Should Be So Hard, Or Messy!
I tried potty training Bradley this summer. We were really diligent and all in for this. I put him big boy underwear and we went every twenty minutes, on the clock. At first, he thought it was great fun. I tried all the tricks of the trade... candy, coins, stickers... nothing really caught his attention for any worthwhile length of time but peanut butter cups. We had had some success with that as a motivator so I stocked up on like four bags of mini peanut butter cups in the fridge. So he liked the candy and for about two hours he was dry and going in the potty every twenty minutes. We even had a bowel movement in the potty, not at twenty but at “grunt” and I ran him in there super fast. I was excited and starting to think that we might be getting somewhere... hah!
The peanut butter cups stopped motivating him because he was not happy to leave his IPad for the time it took us to go in and then come back out. So then we tried taking the IPad with us. Once. Then not so much. Frustration set in, a less than properly placed BM, and I knew we were done for the day. One bath later and a fresh diaper and we were good. Our luck was less than banner the next day: more accidents, more withholding until his underwear was back in place and a whole lot of frustration very early. So we stopped, I ate one of the little bags of peanut butter cups for breakfast and hoped to try again later in the summer.
With Sydney trying out for the Volleyball team, I can’t help but wonder where the summer actually went. It kind of felt like the majority of Season happened before school ever started. Well, we were shocked and amazed when she actually made the team, politics are what they are and well...totally the last thing we expected. So there was a whole bunch of me driving back and forth and thanking God for Madison who kept her brother for me, which kept Bradley from sitting in the car for long periods of time. And with it being a hot summer, saved me gas since I could wait with the windows down. since I don’t sit in a hot carseat. This worked out well for all of us, Madison made extra money by taking care of her brother, I got to go to more of Sydney’s games and just watch and not have to worry about Bradley, and Madison got to steer clear of the political nonsense of the Varsity High School Volleyball team. But Bradley wasn’t have much luck potty training.
So then he gave a little indication that he might be interested, so I put him back in big boy underwear
and set the timer. Here we went again. I always start these events in a good frame of mind, attentive and ready to do the work - shuttle him back and forth, ready to cheer him on, ready to clean up mistakes quietly and keep on trying. And some days; I swear, he watches me get him all set up all the while he’s just chuckling inside thinking... “Hey y’all, watch this!” Good grief!
So off we go...I’m sitting beside him on the couch, when he gives a little grunt. So mom goes into action, I scoop him up, set him on his way and guide him into the bathroom. What follows still haunts me...
He doesn’t like the regular toilet, so he still wants to try the training potty. Only those are kind of small from the size of the ring to the size of the bowl. Ugh. Bradley goes in and I drop his pants for him and he immediately sits down. I tell him good job. Before I can finish he stands up, I start to tell him to sit back down, try again...only he grunts and he evacuates his bowels and hits his target with almost perfect precision. Some of his ammo has landed on the seat, so I stop him from sitting and tell him I have to empty and clean it before he can sit again. I move to grab the seat and think, please don’t pee all over the floor...wrong request. I should have asked for something bigger. Sigh. As I touch the seat, I hear a grunt and a plop... I don’t want to look - and honestly, I don’t have too...the smell has already reached ou and overtaken me. I reach over, slam the bathroom door so the dog doesn’t come help, which the very idea starts my gag reflex to working. I grab wipes and clean Bradley, then set him in the bathtub to wait for the coming bath. I clean up the rug, then roll it up to take to laundry, then dump and clean his trainer potty... then I wash my hands approximately thirty seven times, give or take. And then I give Bradley a bath. Once he’s clean and smells like his Dad again (same shampoo and body wash) I get him freshly diapered, dressed and set him up with his
blocks and his movie while I quickly start laundry. Ugh!!!
After I come in and wash my hands another twenty times, about ish... I make breakfast and drink a cup of coffee and wonder why exactly potty training him is something I ever wanted to try...like ever. And then continue the dismal train of thought down the road of knowing that the next school break I will be trying yet again to do the apparently impossible task of potty training.
Instead, I spent the rest of summer training my oldest on how to drive. More nerve wracking, but nearly as messy or smelly in the long run. At least that met with success as she passed her driver’s test on the day before school started. Pretty proud of that kid. Proud of my middle kid for standing tall amongst a somewhat negative coaching staff and making the team. And I’m proud of my little guy, he keeps letting us try this potty training thing and he doesn’t hold it against me when he gets frustrated with the process. And though he doesn’t like the mess, he moves past it pretty quickly. Time will tell, but I am pretty sure that the whole world will hear my celebratory shouting if this ever actually happens!
Happy Saturday Everyone! October is quickly winding down and I swear I just blinked and we were in September and the middle of High School Volleyball. One more blink and we’ll be in the middle of the Holidays, a new Volleyball season and a brand new year! Wow!
The peanut butter cups stopped motivating him because he was not happy to leave his IPad for the time it took us to go in and then come back out. So then we tried taking the IPad with us. Once. Then not so much. Frustration set in, a less than properly placed BM, and I knew we were done for the day. One bath later and a fresh diaper and we were good. Our luck was less than banner the next day: more accidents, more withholding until his underwear was back in place and a whole lot of frustration very early. So we stopped, I ate one of the little bags of peanut butter cups for breakfast and hoped to try again later in the summer.
With Sydney trying out for the Volleyball team, I can’t help but wonder where the summer actually went. It kind of felt like the majority of Season happened before school ever started. Well, we were shocked and amazed when she actually made the team, politics are what they are and well...totally the last thing we expected. So there was a whole bunch of me driving back and forth and thanking God for Madison who kept her brother for me, which kept Bradley from sitting in the car for long periods of time. And with it being a hot summer, saved me gas since I could wait with the windows down. since I don’t sit in a hot carseat. This worked out well for all of us, Madison made extra money by taking care of her brother, I got to go to more of Sydney’s games and just watch and not have to worry about Bradley, and Madison got to steer clear of the political nonsense of the Varsity High School Volleyball team. But Bradley wasn’t have much luck potty training.
So then he gave a little indication that he might be interested, so I put him back in big boy underwear
and set the timer. Here we went again. I always start these events in a good frame of mind, attentive and ready to do the work - shuttle him back and forth, ready to cheer him on, ready to clean up mistakes quietly and keep on trying. And some days; I swear, he watches me get him all set up all the while he’s just chuckling inside thinking... “Hey y’all, watch this!” Good grief!
So off we go...I’m sitting beside him on the couch, when he gives a little grunt. So mom goes into action, I scoop him up, set him on his way and guide him into the bathroom. What follows still haunts me...
He doesn’t like the regular toilet, so he still wants to try the training potty. Only those are kind of small from the size of the ring to the size of the bowl. Ugh. Bradley goes in and I drop his pants for him and he immediately sits down. I tell him good job. Before I can finish he stands up, I start to tell him to sit back down, try again...only he grunts and he evacuates his bowels and hits his target with almost perfect precision. Some of his ammo has landed on the seat, so I stop him from sitting and tell him I have to empty and clean it before he can sit again. I move to grab the seat and think, please don’t pee all over the floor...wrong request. I should have asked for something bigger. Sigh. As I touch the seat, I hear a grunt and a plop... I don’t want to look - and honestly, I don’t have too...the smell has already reached ou and overtaken me. I reach over, slam the bathroom door so the dog doesn’t come help, which the very idea starts my gag reflex to working. I grab wipes and clean Bradley, then set him in the bathtub to wait for the coming bath. I clean up the rug, then roll it up to take to laundry, then dump and clean his trainer potty... then I wash my hands approximately thirty seven times, give or take. And then I give Bradley a bath. Once he’s clean and smells like his Dad again (same shampoo and body wash) I get him freshly diapered, dressed and set him up with his
blocks and his movie while I quickly start laundry. Ugh!!!
After I come in and wash my hands another twenty times, about ish... I make breakfast and drink a cup of coffee and wonder why exactly potty training him is something I ever wanted to try...like ever. And then continue the dismal train of thought down the road of knowing that the next school break I will be trying yet again to do the apparently impossible task of potty training.
Instead, I spent the rest of summer training my oldest on how to drive. More nerve wracking, but nearly as messy or smelly in the long run. At least that met with success as she passed her driver’s test on the day before school started. Pretty proud of that kid. Proud of my middle kid for standing tall amongst a somewhat negative coaching staff and making the team. And I’m proud of my little guy, he keeps letting us try this potty training thing and he doesn’t hold it against me when he gets frustrated with the process. And though he doesn’t like the mess, he moves past it pretty quickly. Time will tell, but I am pretty sure that the whole world will hear my celebratory shouting if this ever actually happens!
Happy Saturday Everyone! October is quickly winding down and I swear I just blinked and we were in September and the middle of High School Volleyball. One more blink and we’ll be in the middle of the Holidays, a new Volleyball season and a brand new year! Wow!
Friday, October 26, 2018
A Suburban Farm
We don’t actually live on a farm, far from it. We live in the suburbs. A smallish little town where the streets roll up at nine o’clockand It’s so quiet that the deputies all meet at the Coffee Bean to do paperwork and hang out doing their specific things they do. It’s that quiet.
We have a dog named Sheba, that will someday be a service dog to Bradley. Problem is that being in a small town, I’m having a hard time getting her the Canine Good Dog training she needs to take the next step in her training. Every time I set her up the class gets canceled to the point it’s not been offered the last two seasons. Going to have to move out of our area into somewhere else to try again or something. She’s a work in progress, so it’s good.
We have a seven year old cat that is a cranky female who doesn’t care for anything furry, just the two legged people. She reminded me off a Japanese cat I saw in Japan with her black and grey fur, so we named her Yuna. Yuna is the queen bee in our house and she rules with an iron fist, well hiss for sure. When she was little she used to dump her water bowl everyday. Now we have a larger square bowl she can’t dump, though she does try. She likes to pull at it with her paw, making the water slosh about. She gets to drink first before anyone else and she does it as slow as possible. Dainty, even queen like. Yuna likes to sit and use her paw to lift the water from the bowl to her mouth, over and over again. She sleeps where ever it suits her, but her preferred place to sleep is on top of the dog’s kennel. I like to think it’s convenient, but I’m pretty sure she does it to harass the dog as much as possible. Considering the dog is never in there unless she chooses to be, hers is an empty sort of harassment.
Toby One Kenobi joined our family after we left San Diego. Sydney used to volunteer in the Kindergarten classroom, and the teacher offered her one of the room rabbits because she had a special bond with the critter. Since we were moving into an apartment, we had to decline. I did consider it though, Eric was the voice of reason. I was the parent that felt so bad about the moving again, the leaving of friends and family in San Diego, that I promised that if we ever got our own house she’d get a rabbit. That had to do. Instead we got this orange tabby cat that is a complete nut. He and Sydney have a close bond, maybe because he loves her blanket as much as she does. Don’t worry, I’m not sharing state secrets here...Sydney and her blanket will go to college together someday, she might make a coat out of it when she’s older, either way... she and her cat love that blanket. Although the potential is that he loves the blanket more than she does, but she keeps it for her comfort, but more, the comfort Toby gives her as they snuggle under it. Toby will meow at you if you look at him. If you respond to his meow, he will meow again, and you will have a conversation with a cat. If that’s not enough, Toby and I play hide and seek. We play until he catches me, then he gets treats, the
only cat in our house that likes treats. In the last few weeks, Toby has also started drinking his water from his paw as well. The cats are crazy!
Then we added rabbits. Miniature Newfoundland rabbits (I think) Sydney got a black one she called Hobbit, then Holly and who I call Holly Hobbit because I couldn’t keep up with the name change. Feeling that maybe Madison needed a little buddy of her very own since Toby seems to have chosen to be Team Sydney, we let her get a little white one that she named Rosie. All was well until the fires of December last year. During the fires, more predators were pushed to our area. In an unfortunate accident whereby one of the sides of the portable cage was left open, Rosie the rabbit hopped out and was GONE! No fur, no “Oh Crap! Predator!” pellets left behind, no sign of her ever again. Madison was devastated, I was devastated. She wasn’t my rabbit, but she was under my care as the mom of the house. Ugh! So Eric and I are talking, and I say how I had felt she needed something just for her even though she never really said she wanted a rabbit, but she sure loved Rosie. He goes, we should have just got her a kitten, they’re easier. I’m like, you said no more cats! So Eric goes to talk to her and she’s fully on board with a kitty. So much so, she’s checking the shelter. She finds one she likes and I’m like - uh, what, wait.... huh? So Eric and I go to the Shelter, while I’m checking on the one she saw on the Internet, he’s scouting the talent. When I find him, he goes, “I like that one.” Another orange tabby? What? Eric just laughs and shows how the little guy keeps reaching for him and won’t stop purring. We leave the decision to Madison and three days before Christmas that six month old orange tabby enters our family. He still won’t stop purring. He meows at everyone like he’s talking to us and if you look at him when he does, he starts purring. You can hear him coming down the hallway as the purrs get louder and louder. He’s a cuddler, and he adores Madison...mission accomplished. His name is Louis. His Indian Guide name is “Lizard Killer.” Bringing in four within four days...one was very much alive when I happened to be on the receiving end, thank you very much! Toby kills crickets, and when we first moved in and had rats in the English Spruce trees, Sheba took out two of those. Word got out, the population moved out of those trees and we never had that problem again. Good dog! Now those rat condos are gone completely, so it’s even better.
A regular suburban farm. Promises made and kept, love given and received daily, responsibility being slowly entrenched in these kids trying to care for these animals, and a daily reminder of how crazy we parents are to have one dog, three cats, and a rabbit in our family. But at the end of the day it’s worth it. The lessons of loving animals are important; sometimes incredibly painful, but all of them are imperative to learning to live this life in the best way possible.
We have a dog named Sheba, that will someday be a service dog to Bradley. Problem is that being in a small town, I’m having a hard time getting her the Canine Good Dog training she needs to take the next step in her training. Every time I set her up the class gets canceled to the point it’s not been offered the last two seasons. Going to have to move out of our area into somewhere else to try again or something. She’s a work in progress, so it’s good.
We have a seven year old cat that is a cranky female who doesn’t care for anything furry, just the two legged people. She reminded me off a Japanese cat I saw in Japan with her black and grey fur, so we named her Yuna. Yuna is the queen bee in our house and she rules with an iron fist, well hiss for sure. When she was little she used to dump her water bowl everyday. Now we have a larger square bowl she can’t dump, though she does try. She likes to pull at it with her paw, making the water slosh about. She gets to drink first before anyone else and she does it as slow as possible. Dainty, even queen like. Yuna likes to sit and use her paw to lift the water from the bowl to her mouth, over and over again. She sleeps where ever it suits her, but her preferred place to sleep is on top of the dog’s kennel. I like to think it’s convenient, but I’m pretty sure she does it to harass the dog as much as possible. Considering the dog is never in there unless she chooses to be, hers is an empty sort of harassment.
Toby One Kenobi joined our family after we left San Diego. Sydney used to volunteer in the Kindergarten classroom, and the teacher offered her one of the room rabbits because she had a special bond with the critter. Since we were moving into an apartment, we had to decline. I did consider it though, Eric was the voice of reason. I was the parent that felt so bad about the moving again, the leaving of friends and family in San Diego, that I promised that if we ever got our own house she’d get a rabbit. That had to do. Instead we got this orange tabby cat that is a complete nut. He and Sydney have a close bond, maybe because he loves her blanket as much as she does. Don’t worry, I’m not sharing state secrets here...Sydney and her blanket will go to college together someday, she might make a coat out of it when she’s older, either way... she and her cat love that blanket. Although the potential is that he loves the blanket more than she does, but she keeps it for her comfort, but more, the comfort Toby gives her as they snuggle under it. Toby will meow at you if you look at him. If you respond to his meow, he will meow again, and you will have a conversation with a cat. If that’s not enough, Toby and I play hide and seek. We play until he catches me, then he gets treats, the
only cat in our house that likes treats. In the last few weeks, Toby has also started drinking his water from his paw as well. The cats are crazy!
Then we added rabbits. Miniature Newfoundland rabbits (I think) Sydney got a black one she called Hobbit, then Holly and who I call Holly Hobbit because I couldn’t keep up with the name change. Feeling that maybe Madison needed a little buddy of her very own since Toby seems to have chosen to be Team Sydney, we let her get a little white one that she named Rosie. All was well until the fires of December last year. During the fires, more predators were pushed to our area. In an unfortunate accident whereby one of the sides of the portable cage was left open, Rosie the rabbit hopped out and was GONE! No fur, no “Oh Crap! Predator!” pellets left behind, no sign of her ever again. Madison was devastated, I was devastated. She wasn’t my rabbit, but she was under my care as the mom of the house. Ugh! So Eric and I are talking, and I say how I had felt she needed something just for her even though she never really said she wanted a rabbit, but she sure loved Rosie. He goes, we should have just got her a kitten, they’re easier. I’m like, you said no more cats! So Eric goes to talk to her and she’s fully on board with a kitty. So much so, she’s checking the shelter. She finds one she likes and I’m like - uh, what, wait.... huh? So Eric and I go to the Shelter, while I’m checking on the one she saw on the Internet, he’s scouting the talent. When I find him, he goes, “I like that one.” Another orange tabby? What? Eric just laughs and shows how the little guy keeps reaching for him and won’t stop purring. We leave the decision to Madison and three days before Christmas that six month old orange tabby enters our family. He still won’t stop purring. He meows at everyone like he’s talking to us and if you look at him when he does, he starts purring. You can hear him coming down the hallway as the purrs get louder and louder. He’s a cuddler, and he adores Madison...mission accomplished. His name is Louis. His Indian Guide name is “Lizard Killer.” Bringing in four within four days...one was very much alive when I happened to be on the receiving end, thank you very much! Toby kills crickets, and when we first moved in and had rats in the English Spruce trees, Sheba took out two of those. Word got out, the population moved out of those trees and we never had that problem again. Good dog! Now those rat condos are gone completely, so it’s even better.
A regular suburban farm. Promises made and kept, love given and received daily, responsibility being slowly entrenched in these kids trying to care for these animals, and a daily reminder of how crazy we parents are to have one dog, three cats, and a rabbit in our family. But at the end of the day it’s worth it. The lessons of loving animals are important; sometimes incredibly painful, but all of them are imperative to learning to live this life in the best way possible.
Thursday, October 25, 2018
In The Midst
It’s kind of funny. Some days, some moments, I find myself standing in the middle of activity; even chaos, just soaking it all in. As if by just taking a moment, I can take a picture that stores in my memories. I never did this until my wedding. Some loving person, hugged me before the big day and told me Congratulations, but then told me to take the time to be present on the big day. To take it all in. Maybe because my guy was on deployment, maybe because somewhere in my cerebral matter I knew they were right... I did just that. I tried to truly see each moment, the people and the family. All the time I spent with my mom, doing all the wedding things. The long writing sessions between Eric and I as we planned out our dream day, mostly over email or payphones that were installed on the ship. It was difficult, and at the time one of the hardest things I would do...but it was just a test, a chance to give me experience at doing the hard stuff that would come later.
Going to Japan...rough. Leaving Japan...rough. I was terrified to leave home, but we made Japan home and in return Japan gave us Madison. After that, it was just a deep breath and here we go again. El Centro gave us Sydney, but gave Eric the start of his health problems. Heart failure and Cardio Myopathy, asthma... tough stuff indeed. Some more moving, some attempt to find a forever home, but that medical stuff would loom in our lives. When he was med-evaced out of Bahrain...the wait through Germany, then San Francisco...all the fear coalescing in one constant ache to put my arms around him and know he was going to be okay. My heart still remembers him leaving us in San Diego, the girls and I with him until he walked onto the plane. To this day, my eyes well up as I can still hear the kind words of the flight attendant telling him: “Take all the time you need.” Tears then, and tears when he came walking into the terminal at Miramar Air Station. Madison squealing, and running. Sydney watching and toddling to him because her sister did and what Madison did Sydney always did. Then she was squealing when she knew it was him and he was holding them both in his arms.
Our forever home that wasn’t, as the Navy sent us back to Japan. And our marriage was tested. The potential life change, happened in a positive way as we worked through the downs together. The joy of a freshness that felt stronger than before. The disappointment when we tried for a third baby but it just didn’t happen until we were way past trying, or wanting...and God said Hello.
The ups and downs...how we lived as a family had plenty. But life was precious and I knew that our life in Japan was a gift, a special time carved out to be the best of times, the greatest place to be for these little girls to grow. And when Bradley arrived, the feeling of being loved was overwhelming. I knew that Eric was loved, that people respected him and cared about him. I knew my girls held a special place amongst his friends. For me, I only had a few close friends. Two at another base, and a neighbor that worked her way under my guard and addicted me to creamer...I mean, coffee. My other friends were my students, and though that is a different relationship, the richness of how important they were to me, how much joy they added to my life can never be fully explained or ever forgotten. We had it good in Japan, we had a place and I knew and felt it daily.
When I was pregnant with Bradley, I found people would see me and rather than just pass, they would stop and talk to me, ask after me and the baby. A woman who would become one of my dearest friends, started talking to me every morning at school drop off. When I was diagnosed with Melanoma, my world grew. Sydney’s teacher had suffered much worse than I had, but she helped us through it all. When I was so exhausted after teaching my class and slept through my two alarms, which made me very late for school pickup...my friend grabbed Madison and seeing Sydney’s teacher keeping her close, they waited in the classroom until Eric could come. I woke up and panicked, running out of the house with only my keys. Embarassed, but relieved. We had a village there, and they were as protective of my children as I was. And I had Eric, who was out of work within moments of the call; driving my walking route to school, trying to decide where to go first - a mess of
anxiety because it had not been an easy pregnancy and that was before the Melanoma raised its ugly
head. After that, he took over more, I rested more. He was excited to have a son and to be a dad to a new baby. He was in a schedule where he could be around more and he felt the girls had been great teachers so he could be a better dad. How he was going to improve on what he already was, I’m not sure...but he wanted too and that was pretty amazing in itself.
Bradley was a shock for sure. But Bradley brought blessings and so much love with him. And time had taught us how to endure the scary stuff and keep fighting until it wasn’t so scary anymore. Any time we’ve faltered, someone has been there to pick us up. God sends his Angels to us all the time. And in the midst, I still find moments of standing in the middle of my life and taking it all in. Now more than ever I see it all for how important it is, how precious each moment truly can be. And in some ways how much harder things are than they were.
Time is marching unerringly forward. What I know is that I am limited in how much I get with my
girls. So I store moments away for later, I take pictures and I write down the funny stories for me, but also for them to have someday...to jog their memories so they can return to here and now in their memories, in the hope that on the bad days to come - something will help. And on the good days - something from our time now is the foundation for their lives later. And I hope that the foundations we create today will be set strong for them later. And when I tell them to be here in the moment, live now and be here now...I hope they are listening and trying. Or that someday it will make sense to them and they will start. I often worry that what we’ve been through is a challenge for later events. Perhaps that’s why I tried to protect the girls from the bulk of Bradley’s health scares when he was a baby. I wanted them to have young lives...not older than their years way too soon. One Grand Mal seizure later and that blew that out of the water. What they imagined was worse than the truth, so they got the truth.
For me, the past has built into my today. What I learned from yesterday are all the pieces that I use
now to put this puzzle together in a way that allows me to cope with the bad stuff, rejoice in the good,
and take the necessary steps to stop and revel in the Blessings that abound in my life. Thanking God for the family that I get to travel this road with is something that happens daily. Grateful for the sweet man that almost totally gets me, and still loves me...that happens constantly. We aren’t perfect, we don’t always agree and sometimes we don’t see eye to eye... but we are perfect for each other, a stubborn couple who refuses to turn away from this love we have nurtured between Us.
Life is a journey: dress for the changes in the weather, wear good shoes as the road is long and sometimes rocky, take pictures - real ones and ones you store in your heart, and never forget the love that guides you on your way. Be present in the here and now. And stop every once in a while to just take it all in.
Going to Japan...rough. Leaving Japan...rough. I was terrified to leave home, but we made Japan home and in return Japan gave us Madison. After that, it was just a deep breath and here we go again. El Centro gave us Sydney, but gave Eric the start of his health problems. Heart failure and Cardio Myopathy, asthma... tough stuff indeed. Some more moving, some attempt to find a forever home, but that medical stuff would loom in our lives. When he was med-evaced out of Bahrain...the wait through Germany, then San Francisco...all the fear coalescing in one constant ache to put my arms around him and know he was going to be okay. My heart still remembers him leaving us in San Diego, the girls and I with him until he walked onto the plane. To this day, my eyes well up as I can still hear the kind words of the flight attendant telling him: “Take all the time you need.” Tears then, and tears when he came walking into the terminal at Miramar Air Station. Madison squealing, and running. Sydney watching and toddling to him because her sister did and what Madison did Sydney always did. Then she was squealing when she knew it was him and he was holding them both in his arms.
Our forever home that wasn’t, as the Navy sent us back to Japan. And our marriage was tested. The potential life change, happened in a positive way as we worked through the downs together. The joy of a freshness that felt stronger than before. The disappointment when we tried for a third baby but it just didn’t happen until we were way past trying, or wanting...and God said Hello.
The ups and downs...how we lived as a family had plenty. But life was precious and I knew that our life in Japan was a gift, a special time carved out to be the best of times, the greatest place to be for these little girls to grow. And when Bradley arrived, the feeling of being loved was overwhelming. I knew that Eric was loved, that people respected him and cared about him. I knew my girls held a special place amongst his friends. For me, I only had a few close friends. Two at another base, and a neighbor that worked her way under my guard and addicted me to creamer...I mean, coffee. My other friends were my students, and though that is a different relationship, the richness of how important they were to me, how much joy they added to my life can never be fully explained or ever forgotten. We had it good in Japan, we had a place and I knew and felt it daily.
When I was pregnant with Bradley, I found people would see me and rather than just pass, they would stop and talk to me, ask after me and the baby. A woman who would become one of my dearest friends, started talking to me every morning at school drop off. When I was diagnosed with Melanoma, my world grew. Sydney’s teacher had suffered much worse than I had, but she helped us through it all. When I was so exhausted after teaching my class and slept through my two alarms, which made me very late for school pickup...my friend grabbed Madison and seeing Sydney’s teacher keeping her close, they waited in the classroom until Eric could come. I woke up and panicked, running out of the house with only my keys. Embarassed, but relieved. We had a village there, and they were as protective of my children as I was. And I had Eric, who was out of work within moments of the call; driving my walking route to school, trying to decide where to go first - a mess of
anxiety because it had not been an easy pregnancy and that was before the Melanoma raised its ugly
head. After that, he took over more, I rested more. He was excited to have a son and to be a dad to a new baby. He was in a schedule where he could be around more and he felt the girls had been great teachers so he could be a better dad. How he was going to improve on what he already was, I’m not sure...but he wanted too and that was pretty amazing in itself.
Bradley was a shock for sure. But Bradley brought blessings and so much love with him. And time had taught us how to endure the scary stuff and keep fighting until it wasn’t so scary anymore. Any time we’ve faltered, someone has been there to pick us up. God sends his Angels to us all the time. And in the midst, I still find moments of standing in the middle of my life and taking it all in. Now more than ever I see it all for how important it is, how precious each moment truly can be. And in some ways how much harder things are than they were.
Time is marching unerringly forward. What I know is that I am limited in how much I get with my
girls. So I store moments away for later, I take pictures and I write down the funny stories for me, but also for them to have someday...to jog their memories so they can return to here and now in their memories, in the hope that on the bad days to come - something will help. And on the good days - something from our time now is the foundation for their lives later. And I hope that the foundations we create today will be set strong for them later. And when I tell them to be here in the moment, live now and be here now...I hope they are listening and trying. Or that someday it will make sense to them and they will start. I often worry that what we’ve been through is a challenge for later events. Perhaps that’s why I tried to protect the girls from the bulk of Bradley’s health scares when he was a baby. I wanted them to have young lives...not older than their years way too soon. One Grand Mal seizure later and that blew that out of the water. What they imagined was worse than the truth, so they got the truth.
For me, the past has built into my today. What I learned from yesterday are all the pieces that I use
now to put this puzzle together in a way that allows me to cope with the bad stuff, rejoice in the good,
and take the necessary steps to stop and revel in the Blessings that abound in my life. Thanking God for the family that I get to travel this road with is something that happens daily. Grateful for the sweet man that almost totally gets me, and still loves me...that happens constantly. We aren’t perfect, we don’t always agree and sometimes we don’t see eye to eye... but we are perfect for each other, a stubborn couple who refuses to turn away from this love we have nurtured between Us.
Life is a journey: dress for the changes in the weather, wear good shoes as the road is long and sometimes rocky, take pictures - real ones and ones you store in your heart, and never forget the love that guides you on your way. Be present in the here and now. And stop every once in a while to just take it all in.
Wednesday, October 24, 2018
Yes Sleeping, No Talking
Not everyone knows this, but my kids are lunatics in their sleep. We actually had no idea until the girls spent the night with my cousins. In the middle of the night he heard a thump and a cry, turns out it was Madison running into the edge of a chest while walking in her sleep. We were aware that she talked in her sleep, we’ve heard her for years. Turns out it really isn’t something you outgrow...at least not my kid. Nope the shenanigans have continued. We have found her curled up by the toilet sleeping, I have walked into the kitchen to find her drinking water only to refill her cup, down the water, refill it and down the water... who knows how long that would have continued if I hadn’t stopped her. Her response was a grunt that might have been “thirsty” and then she walked by me back to bed. She talks to me a lot during these exchanges and never remembers. She sometimes just roams the house, no rhyme or reason to it. My favorites are when she is playing volleyball, yelling at her sister, or yelling out her name.
I walked into her room one night not too long ago thinking I heard a noise. I found her standing in the middle of her bed. When I walked in, she crouched - looking surprisingly like she was in a Spider-Man pose. “Um, Madison what’re doing?”
Her reply, “My pillow fell on the floor.” So she drops down to lay on her bed and is fast asleep on her pillow. Okayyyy... walk away without laughing too loud and waking anyone up, so unbelievably hard!
Let’s be real folks, Bradley is not the only reason we have a lock near the top of our front door.
Sydney is no exception to the nighttime craziness. I walked in to wake her up one morning and she just looked at me and kept repeating: “So tired, so tired, so tired.” Closed her eyes, put her head back on her pillow and was out. I had to give her another twenty minutes before I could try again. Does that count as talking in her sleep?
Traveling with these kids is more adventure than anyone believes. I wasn’t sure that Sydney talked in her sleep until we went to Vegas for Volleyball. Five people in the same room, quite cozy. Once the girls stop fighting over space in their bed, the room gets quiet. Middle of the night and we are awakened by Sydney yelling at the top of her voice: “Well, screw you and your bucket Sarah!” Somehow only Eric and I woke up to hear her, and we laughed so hard we thought we were going to wake up Bradley. Madison not so much, that girl sleeps like a rock and hears nothing. She sets an alarm only to wake up to turn it off and then go back to sleep, never knowing she turned off her alarm.
Anyway, I don’t know who Sarah is and what the Hell she did to Sydney but she better keep her bucket away from Sydney.
As for Bradley, we think he walks in his sleep too. He doesn’t talk, though sometimes he cries out just to make sure I don’t sleep too deep. He’s been known to walk in and climb into bed with Madison; but mostly, he walks to the door of his room, stops and sits there for a bit - sometimes falling asleep right there. Or, he likes to walk into our room and fling the door against the wall and goes running to dad’s side of the bed and tries to climb into bed but he’s usually too tired or not awake enough to get up on the bed. Typically, I take him right back to bed and on a good night, he’s asleep as his head hits his pillow. On other nights, I doze on and off while he decides if sleep is even on his agenda.
All in all, it all comes from somewhere...and it’s not the mom! Nope, my lunatic kids get their crazy nighttime antics straight from their dad. Eric talks in his sleep, not quite as often as he used too...but then Madison is taking over that role. He also runs in his sleep. Yes, you read that right. While he sleeps, his little feet will suddenly start shuffling under the blankets, pauses, then shuffles some more. He did this a lot when we lived in Japan and while he was at work he was busy chasing down the drunken sailors and marines in the Honch, that would follow him into his dreams. He used to also turn over like he was still sleeping on the carrier. Like he was trying to step out of his rack, flip, turn, and land back in the bed without ever waking up. Incredible to witness actually. He’s been away from the ship for so long that he doesn’t do it as much anymore, but obviously Madison is a chip off the old block, picking up where Dad left off.
These days it always surprises me more when I find out someone is awake more than if they are asleep. I love this family! Only this crew can make nocturnal moments so funny it almost doesn’t hurt being awake. 😉
I walked into her room one night not too long ago thinking I heard a noise. I found her standing in the middle of her bed. When I walked in, she crouched - looking surprisingly like she was in a Spider-Man pose. “Um, Madison what’re doing?”
Her reply, “My pillow fell on the floor.” So she drops down to lay on her bed and is fast asleep on her pillow. Okayyyy... walk away without laughing too loud and waking anyone up, so unbelievably hard!
Let’s be real folks, Bradley is not the only reason we have a lock near the top of our front door.
Sydney is no exception to the nighttime craziness. I walked in to wake her up one morning and she just looked at me and kept repeating: “So tired, so tired, so tired.” Closed her eyes, put her head back on her pillow and was out. I had to give her another twenty minutes before I could try again. Does that count as talking in her sleep?
Traveling with these kids is more adventure than anyone believes. I wasn’t sure that Sydney talked in her sleep until we went to Vegas for Volleyball. Five people in the same room, quite cozy. Once the girls stop fighting over space in their bed, the room gets quiet. Middle of the night and we are awakened by Sydney yelling at the top of her voice: “Well, screw you and your bucket Sarah!” Somehow only Eric and I woke up to hear her, and we laughed so hard we thought we were going to wake up Bradley. Madison not so much, that girl sleeps like a rock and hears nothing. She sets an alarm only to wake up to turn it off and then go back to sleep, never knowing she turned off her alarm.
Anyway, I don’t know who Sarah is and what the Hell she did to Sydney but she better keep her bucket away from Sydney.
As for Bradley, we think he walks in his sleep too. He doesn’t talk, though sometimes he cries out just to make sure I don’t sleep too deep. He’s been known to walk in and climb into bed with Madison; but mostly, he walks to the door of his room, stops and sits there for a bit - sometimes falling asleep right there. Or, he likes to walk into our room and fling the door against the wall and goes running to dad’s side of the bed and tries to climb into bed but he’s usually too tired or not awake enough to get up on the bed. Typically, I take him right back to bed and on a good night, he’s asleep as his head hits his pillow. On other nights, I doze on and off while he decides if sleep is even on his agenda.
All in all, it all comes from somewhere...and it’s not the mom! Nope, my lunatic kids get their crazy nighttime antics straight from their dad. Eric talks in his sleep, not quite as often as he used too...but then Madison is taking over that role. He also runs in his sleep. Yes, you read that right. While he sleeps, his little feet will suddenly start shuffling under the blankets, pauses, then shuffles some more. He did this a lot when we lived in Japan and while he was at work he was busy chasing down the drunken sailors and marines in the Honch, that would follow him into his dreams. He used to also turn over like he was still sleeping on the carrier. Like he was trying to step out of his rack, flip, turn, and land back in the bed without ever waking up. Incredible to witness actually. He’s been away from the ship for so long that he doesn’t do it as much anymore, but obviously Madison is a chip off the old block, picking up where Dad left off.
These days it always surprises me more when I find out someone is awake more than if they are asleep. I love this family! Only this crew can make nocturnal moments so funny it almost doesn’t hurt being awake. 😉
Tuesday, October 23, 2018
As Fevers Go...
Now here’s Tuesday. What a long few days...
Madison was hit by fevers yesterday, high ones. Considering she’s my healthy kid and rarely gets sick; let alone, has fevers...that was disconcerting. I kept battling back against the fevers in an attempt to stay ahead of this crap attacking my kids. Sometime around ten her fever broke, thank goodness. She’s had a sore throat most of the day, and her head pain has begun to ease off, so she’s thinking maybe she can get back into school tomorrow. Sydney’s fevers have been controlled by the medicine she is taking trying to combat the sore throat and headaches. She had a fever earlier, but seems to have them back in control. Sydney will stay home with me again tomorrow and hopefully, the fever will work it’s way out of her tomorrow and she can get back to school on Thursday.
The good news: blisters haven’t come popping up on either of them. I’m still doctoring and watching Bradley. The blisters have all taken on a flat quality, no longer having scabs over the top like they had been which is a relief. He’s been fever free for almost two days, which is a huge relief. He was also less lethargic today, a lot less. This morning he let me know he wanted a shower, so we did that. After we got him dressed, he wanted to have a popsicle, so he got that and then yogurt...while I was cleaning up, he took off down the hall and while I waited and wondered, he came trotting back down the hallway carrying his IronMan costume. So I helped him into his custome...then we had to find socks, shoes, and of course his gloves. From there, he was busy with setting up his Go-Go Smart cars, playing with his McQueen cars, and all of his different tiles and blocks.
He wasn’t interested in any food other than popsicles and rainbow sherbet. He might actually just prefer the sherbet over the popsicles. Now THAT is amazing. I absolutely never thought we would ever find something he’d prefer over popsicles. Who knew? We figure his throat is still a bit sore...so, I let him eat as much of the cold stuff as he wanted to help with that.
We’re headed to Santa Barbara tomorrow for a GI appointment for Sydney, by default Bradley has to tag along. Since he would have to picked up early, we’re going to keep him out of school until Thursday. I am hoping that the blisters fade even more throughout tomorrow. Either way, he needs more rest and healing time so it works out well. Since his teacher is also sick tomorrow, it’s probably best that after this long off being sick, he returns on the same day she does. So we’re going to try Thursday and as long as Bradley and his health comply, then all will be well. We shall see.
My hope is that by Thursday, all my chicks are healthy and happy again. Get them back to school, they can get the homework they need to make up, and spend the weekend catching up. Steps back towards a more usual life in our house. Well, as usual as our house gets rather. But I’ll take it for sure.
Now to make sure I publish this one and get Day 23 in the books. ;-). Sigh... Who knows, Thursday might turn out to be a rest day for Mom. Hmmm... 😉
Madison was hit by fevers yesterday, high ones. Considering she’s my healthy kid and rarely gets sick; let alone, has fevers...that was disconcerting. I kept battling back against the fevers in an attempt to stay ahead of this crap attacking my kids. Sometime around ten her fever broke, thank goodness. She’s had a sore throat most of the day, and her head pain has begun to ease off, so she’s thinking maybe she can get back into school tomorrow. Sydney’s fevers have been controlled by the medicine she is taking trying to combat the sore throat and headaches. She had a fever earlier, but seems to have them back in control. Sydney will stay home with me again tomorrow and hopefully, the fever will work it’s way out of her tomorrow and she can get back to school on Thursday.
The good news: blisters haven’t come popping up on either of them. I’m still doctoring and watching Bradley. The blisters have all taken on a flat quality, no longer having scabs over the top like they had been which is a relief. He’s been fever free for almost two days, which is a huge relief. He was also less lethargic today, a lot less. This morning he let me know he wanted a shower, so we did that. After we got him dressed, he wanted to have a popsicle, so he got that and then yogurt...while I was cleaning up, he took off down the hall and while I waited and wondered, he came trotting back down the hallway carrying his IronMan costume. So I helped him into his custome...then we had to find socks, shoes, and of course his gloves. From there, he was busy with setting up his Go-Go Smart cars, playing with his McQueen cars, and all of his different tiles and blocks.
He wasn’t interested in any food other than popsicles and rainbow sherbet. He might actually just prefer the sherbet over the popsicles. Now THAT is amazing. I absolutely never thought we would ever find something he’d prefer over popsicles. Who knew? We figure his throat is still a bit sore...so, I let him eat as much of the cold stuff as he wanted to help with that.
We’re headed to Santa Barbara tomorrow for a GI appointment for Sydney, by default Bradley has to tag along. Since he would have to picked up early, we’re going to keep him out of school until Thursday. I am hoping that the blisters fade even more throughout tomorrow. Either way, he needs more rest and healing time so it works out well. Since his teacher is also sick tomorrow, it’s probably best that after this long off being sick, he returns on the same day she does. So we’re going to try Thursday and as long as Bradley and his health comply, then all will be well. We shall see.
My hope is that by Thursday, all my chicks are healthy and happy again. Get them back to school, they can get the homework they need to make up, and spend the weekend catching up. Steps back towards a more usual life in our house. Well, as usual as our house gets rather. But I’ll take it for sure.
Now to make sure I publish this one and get Day 23 in the books. ;-). Sigh... Who knows, Thursday might turn out to be a rest day for Mom. Hmmm... 😉
Monday Blues.
EDIT: Whoops! I came on to write my Tuesday Blog and realized I never posted my Monday.... in my defense, Bradley dra8ned my battery to zero. I have to figure out my password somI can do this on the big computer...eventually.... anyway, Day 22 and hope you all had a better Monday than we all... 😐
Splash three, splash three!
Off to the doctor today to have all three kids checked. Bradley has classic “Hand, Foot, Mouth” disease. Both girls were checked for Strep...but they came back negative which means they too have the big three disease but what remains to be seen is how badly. Madison is taking the brunt for the two of them I think. She had a fever by the time we got home...so she was medicated and then down for the count.
I went to the store to get Bradley’s meds, his went into his gums and has caused infection...so he is on antibiotics. Turns out Bactriban helps the blisters and since he has a colony under his lower lip, I cover those and hope they don’t get out of control and infected. Ugh.... I have to say though, after first application, things are looking pretty good, I think we can control the lower lip stuff. Here’s hoping anyway.
I have stocked our house with popsicles and rainbow sherbet... fully intending and hoping to ease the sore throats...and lots of Theraflu for sore throats to help the girls combat the symptomatic issues. Wish us luck, we’re going to need it!
I knew our day would be rough when Bradley sat on the couch and started crying and holding his head this morning. I held out my arms and told him to come see me, he did, we snuggled and he promptly fell asleep and took about an hour nap before we could even leave for the doctor. Even there he was lethargic and droopy. Madison could barely lift her head. Sydney has been down this road so many times, she took it in stride and was just chilling. 😉. Poor kid, no one should have so much of this stuff to go through.
Okay... Bradley’s back up IPad has officially died and we are now down to one for him...not great on sick days. So I’m giving him mine to tame the sick little beastie. Desperate times folks...until tomorrow.
Splash three, splash three!
Off to the doctor today to have all three kids checked. Bradley has classic “Hand, Foot, Mouth” disease. Both girls were checked for Strep...but they came back negative which means they too have the big three disease but what remains to be seen is how badly. Madison is taking the brunt for the two of them I think. She had a fever by the time we got home...so she was medicated and then down for the count.
I went to the store to get Bradley’s meds, his went into his gums and has caused infection...so he is on antibiotics. Turns out Bactriban helps the blisters and since he has a colony under his lower lip, I cover those and hope they don’t get out of control and infected. Ugh.... I have to say though, after first application, things are looking pretty good, I think we can control the lower lip stuff. Here’s hoping anyway.
I have stocked our house with popsicles and rainbow sherbet... fully intending and hoping to ease the sore throats...and lots of Theraflu for sore throats to help the girls combat the symptomatic issues. Wish us luck, we’re going to need it!
I knew our day would be rough when Bradley sat on the couch and started crying and holding his head this morning. I held out my arms and told him to come see me, he did, we snuggled and he promptly fell asleep and took about an hour nap before we could even leave for the doctor. Even there he was lethargic and droopy. Madison could barely lift her head. Sydney has been down this road so many times, she took it in stride and was just chilling. 😉. Poor kid, no one should have so much of this stuff to go through.
Okay... Bradley’s back up IPad has officially died and we are now down to one for him...not great on sick days. So I’m giving him mine to tame the sick little beastie. Desperate times folks...until tomorrow.
Sunday, October 21, 2018
Sydney Strikes On Family Night
We spent the day in the house not getting to do much of anything outside of it. Instead, Eric and I took Bradley to the store and followed him around the toy aisle. He was pretty cute, he would pick something up and take a look and then put it in the cart, the go find something else to look at, then put it in the cart. Eric and I spent most of the time weeding through the cart. The idea was to find little toys that we can put in his backpack to use by school staff to motivate him to follow directions, go to and return from the bathroom, go to blending and come back. Stuff like that. There is a bunch of little things in his backpack right now, but the problem is that Bradley will get bored with toys and not care about following directions to get them. So now I will empty out his backpack and trade out some new toys and keep the old toys put away for a little while and then swap them out again later. Not sure what else to do.
But my hope of a chance to hang out as a family wasn’t a complete loss. We gathered in the living room to watch some tv together after dinner, so that was good. We’re watching “Hawaii 5-0” because for some reason the girls really like it. I think it’s okay too, but I can only handle so many back to back episodes before I need a break from it, or I won’t want to watch it anymore.
Anyway, in the midst we talked about the concern that dad and I have that Bradley might have hand, foot, and mouth disease. Having been victim to this before, Sydney commented that it is the worst pain. Eric commented back that no, there is much worse pain. “Let me start plugging needles in your nose and we’ll talk about the worst pain you’ve ever had” recounting the painful injections to his nose to get rid of his cancer.
Sydney, “Don’t try to one up my pain.” Then in her best imitation of her dad voice she says “Take a bullet to the stomach and then we’ll talk about pain.”
It took about a second before it hit us all with what she said, but also her delivery and timing...which set us all laughing. Poor Dad immediately went in search of a rescue inhaler because he laughed so hard he couldn’t breathe...but that’s the problem with Dad’s asthma. There have been plenty of nights where we are talking after the kids are in bed and I get him laughing so hard he needs his inhaler and then tells me I’m trying to kill him and collect his life insurance. It’s a bit reassuring that I’m not the only one to do this to poor Eric, he just gets double teamed now between Sydney and I. He never knows when one of us is going to say the right thing with the right timing to set him off and get him laughing so hard he can’t breathe. Poor guy.
Once he could breathe again, we were able to get Bradley a bath and his medicine then into his jammies for the night. He took maybe two seconds to fall asleep tonight, he spent last night sleeping for an hour then waking up and then sleeping for an hour the. Up and so on and so on.... he should have been tired tonight. Definitely no school for him tomorrow, and off to the doc at first chance. We’ll see what happens from there. Poor baby. Just wish he could have shown me the blisters before the doc’s left the office yesterday morning...but oh well...is what it is. We’ll stumble through tonight and then hit it tomorrow.
All in all, it wasn’t a bad night. If only Bradley had been feeling better it would have been a great night. But that’s our life, the good and the bad walking hand and hand.
But my hope of a chance to hang out as a family wasn’t a complete loss. We gathered in the living room to watch some tv together after dinner, so that was good. We’re watching “Hawaii 5-0” because for some reason the girls really like it. I think it’s okay too, but I can only handle so many back to back episodes before I need a break from it, or I won’t want to watch it anymore.
Anyway, in the midst we talked about the concern that dad and I have that Bradley might have hand, foot, and mouth disease. Having been victim to this before, Sydney commented that it is the worst pain. Eric commented back that no, there is much worse pain. “Let me start plugging needles in your nose and we’ll talk about the worst pain you’ve ever had” recounting the painful injections to his nose to get rid of his cancer.
Sydney, “Don’t try to one up my pain.” Then in her best imitation of her dad voice she says “Take a bullet to the stomach and then we’ll talk about pain.”
It took about a second before it hit us all with what she said, but also her delivery and timing...which set us all laughing. Poor Dad immediately went in search of a rescue inhaler because he laughed so hard he couldn’t breathe...but that’s the problem with Dad’s asthma. There have been plenty of nights where we are talking after the kids are in bed and I get him laughing so hard he needs his inhaler and then tells me I’m trying to kill him and collect his life insurance. It’s a bit reassuring that I’m not the only one to do this to poor Eric, he just gets double teamed now between Sydney and I. He never knows when one of us is going to say the right thing with the right timing to set him off and get him laughing so hard he can’t breathe. Poor guy.
Once he could breathe again, we were able to get Bradley a bath and his medicine then into his jammies for the night. He took maybe two seconds to fall asleep tonight, he spent last night sleeping for an hour then waking up and then sleeping for an hour the. Up and so on and so on.... he should have been tired tonight. Definitely no school for him tomorrow, and off to the doc at first chance. We’ll see what happens from there. Poor baby. Just wish he could have shown me the blisters before the doc’s left the office yesterday morning...but oh well...is what it is. We’ll stumble through tonight and then hit it tomorrow.
All in all, it wasn’t a bad night. If only Bradley had been feeling better it would have been a great night. But that’s our life, the good and the bad walking hand and hand.
Saturday, October 20, 2018
Scattered Dots
You want to know how strange weekends are at our house? Usually, we all pile into the car and head to whatever event is planned for those days. If things go as planned, Friday night is a chance for the parents to try to reconnect with the teens, preferably without any electronic interference unless it involves a movie theater. Saturdays are for the family to be together somewhere, even if it is all of us at home, headed to a volleyball tournament, or gosh anything. When it’s Volleyball season, we run pretty hard. It becomes imperative that we try to keep connected to the kids in our house, and you would think that traveling for hours in the same car would open the door to dialogue for us....yeah, no. Eric and I talk a lot. We can talk about Christmas presents or Birthday presents and the girls don’t know because they are either asleep or have ear buds in listening to music or whatever they choose to listen too. Lately, that’s anime for Sydney and “Friends” for Madison. Bradley watches the flavor of the day, which is a variety of ten to twenty million different things and sometimes he starts dropping words to make us smile.
But lately, our weekends have been so different from our norm. We have teen agers now, and that means school dances and with a gentle push football games which they weren’t sure they’d enjoy, but they do. So a little less teen connection happening right now. And then there’s Bradley. He sometimes enjoy going to dinner, and sometimes he hates it. We really have to choose carefully for the places with the food he loves the most so that he is happy enough to be with us for it. He’s only just starting to be interested in sports around him. Last season he only watched one volleyball game from Dad’s lap. So he really isn’t all that into the football games and such. Most of that is just too far away from him for him to really have his attention be captured. When we have the chance we let him have his Friday night dates with our awesome Respite care provider.
Bu as life does, things always keep changing. Dad is back to his schooling so we have to adjust things to make sure that he has the time he needs to get his work done. The amount of homework for the girls is picking up and their activities too. Last Friday, Madison went on a date with a boy that she thought she really liked, but his silence over the weekend cooled that and she broke it off with him on Monday. See, things just change really fast around here. Haha
But I digress. This week Bradley has been sick, so that changed our scheduling and planning for this weekend. It was back to divide and conquer as Eric and I split the duties to keep him safe and calm to try to get better, and still get the girls - mostly Sydney, all over this county. Friday night I took the girls to see Cal State University Northridge host Cal Poly for women’s volleyball. Then today, Eric took Sydney to a team bonding bbq while Madison took herself to her school for a practice ACT. Meanwhile, Bradley is having a rough few days as he keeps fighting a fever and it would seem he’s having increased seizure activity when he’s trying to sleep at night. So he requires close monitoring.
After barely sleeping last night, he fell asleep pretty early while we sat around watching the baseball game. Eric and I have no dog in this fight, but our oldest is a Dodger fan, so that’s what we did together tonight. By the time it ended, we had everyone but Bradley in here watching the game. Our connecting is coming in bits and pieces. This weend has been about chatting in the car on the way, and Sydney and I making the desserts for the bbq, catching up with Madison when she came home from her test... little bits and pieces filling in the gaps, trying to connect the dots of a busy week, an exhausting week.
Hopefully, Bradley starts to feel better and sleeps tonight, so the parents can sleep tonight and feel better, and maybe tomorrow we all pile in the car and go do something together. Play at a park, walk around the mall...anything that suggests that our little guy is returning to something more healthy and lets our girls blow off some steam. In the middle, maybe we can just enjoy the squabbling girls and the laughter and the being that happens when we get to be together. Maybe.
But first, we really need for Bradley to get feeling better. Then we have to try to gather the dots. One step at a time.
Happy Saturday Y’all.
But lately, our weekends have been so different from our norm. We have teen agers now, and that means school dances and with a gentle push football games which they weren’t sure they’d enjoy, but they do. So a little less teen connection happening right now. And then there’s Bradley. He sometimes enjoy going to dinner, and sometimes he hates it. We really have to choose carefully for the places with the food he loves the most so that he is happy enough to be with us for it. He’s only just starting to be interested in sports around him. Last season he only watched one volleyball game from Dad’s lap. So he really isn’t all that into the football games and such. Most of that is just too far away from him for him to really have his attention be captured. When we have the chance we let him have his Friday night dates with our awesome Respite care provider.
Bu as life does, things always keep changing. Dad is back to his schooling so we have to adjust things to make sure that he has the time he needs to get his work done. The amount of homework for the girls is picking up and their activities too. Last Friday, Madison went on a date with a boy that she thought she really liked, but his silence over the weekend cooled that and she broke it off with him on Monday. See, things just change really fast around here. Haha
But I digress. This week Bradley has been sick, so that changed our scheduling and planning for this weekend. It was back to divide and conquer as Eric and I split the duties to keep him safe and calm to try to get better, and still get the girls - mostly Sydney, all over this county. Friday night I took the girls to see Cal State University Northridge host Cal Poly for women’s volleyball. Then today, Eric took Sydney to a team bonding bbq while Madison took herself to her school for a practice ACT. Meanwhile, Bradley is having a rough few days as he keeps fighting a fever and it would seem he’s having increased seizure activity when he’s trying to sleep at night. So he requires close monitoring.
After barely sleeping last night, he fell asleep pretty early while we sat around watching the baseball game. Eric and I have no dog in this fight, but our oldest is a Dodger fan, so that’s what we did together tonight. By the time it ended, we had everyone but Bradley in here watching the game. Our connecting is coming in bits and pieces. This weend has been about chatting in the car on the way, and Sydney and I making the desserts for the bbq, catching up with Madison when she came home from her test... little bits and pieces filling in the gaps, trying to connect the dots of a busy week, an exhausting week.
Hopefully, Bradley starts to feel better and sleeps tonight, so the parents can sleep tonight and feel better, and maybe tomorrow we all pile in the car and go do something together. Play at a park, walk around the mall...anything that suggests that our little guy is returning to something more healthy and lets our girls blow off some steam. In the middle, maybe we can just enjoy the squabbling girls and the laughter and the being that happens when we get to be together. Maybe.
But first, we really need for Bradley to get feeling better. Then we have to try to gather the dots. One step at a time.
Happy Saturday Y’all.
Friday, October 19, 2018
Second Guessing
The hard part about leaving Bradley’s second grade classroom was leaving the teacher, his favorite aide, and the comfort that was helping him continue his journey on the learning curve. Even harder was leaving behind his friends. Of course, he was comfortable there. He’d been there three years and finally we were starting to get recognition of letters and numbers. Eric and I even considered keeping him where he was for one more year. Maybe settled in he would be able to really expand his brain to stop worrying about where he was and concentrate on learning the new things. Everything I’ve read keeps suggesting that repetition is the best way for Bradley to learn. So I am left to ponder if we made the right choice to not fight to keep him where he was. And yet, he is almost nine years old, and I also don’t see how keeping him with kindergarteners was going to advance his social concepts and his knowledge of the alphabet.
And yet, he left behind his two friends. Bradley had made friends, one was a kindergartener and the other a first grader. This year she is in first and he is in second and Bradley is two classrooms away in third grade. And as much as we counted on his comfort level to give him the chance to actually learn and grow...his connection to friends in the classroom are the connections that he misses the most. Both kiddos are on his bus, but they don’r sit together, each has a special harness to keep them safe on the bus and when I watch Bradley get on the bus, I don’t see the light of recognition in his face, I see excitement for the bus and only that. It’s almost as if last year never happened and he never made friends. And it breaks my heart.
In this classroom, he had two aides he really seemed to like, they visited him last year a few times in his classroom and made a point of spending playground time with him so that he would have some familiarity with them this year. Only one is still in his classroom, the other has been moved. So many changes. He is supposed to go to blending twice a week, but right now he can’t get there. As his behaviors return, I’m not sure if it’s worth it to keep up the attempts anymore. Seems like he gets so many changes going on in his classroom that he doesn’t necessarily need the lessons learned from changing classrooms and teachers. They are more scholarly over there...but I just don’t know anymore. I want him to use his brain but I also want him safe. I’m not sure about the fight to get him over there. And at the end of the day, I miss the loss of friendships he was cultivating more than him only getting to blending once this week instead of twice.
Perhaps my brain can’t quite work through to any kind of comfort level with the way he looked getting off the bus yesterday, the bruises on his head from where he started hitting his head again. The long email from his teacher as she is trying to find a safer solution to try with him right away, worried about him and his head too. I keep reminding myself that he was sick yesterday so his world was upside down and kind of sideways...and that means I really have to just get him feeling better first, get him back to school next week and then, see what happens with him at school and decide where we go from here.
His temp has been up and down today, not bad but at its worst, he definitely reacts with tears and searching for snuggles. He didn’t sleep last night, but after sleeping so long yesterday it was to be expected. When the wakeful stage turned to tears and whimpers, it was time to get Motrin in him again...twenty minutes later he was sleeping again. No sleeping today, just playing and then movie, then back to playing, some snuggling when his temp went back up...and then back to movie and playing. I know he’s sick, so I’m not putting demands on him and he’s having a pretty good day, albeit because he’s sick. So we’ll see about the school thing once he feels better enough to go back and then see where his behaviors go from there and take it one day at a time. My poor guy. Sigh...
We’ll just have to see how it goes and take each day as it comes. When we add a communication device we’ll judge his behaviors and go from there. So many changes...time will tell if there are just too many changes after all.
And yet, he left behind his two friends. Bradley had made friends, one was a kindergartener and the other a first grader. This year she is in first and he is in second and Bradley is two classrooms away in third grade. And as much as we counted on his comfort level to give him the chance to actually learn and grow...his connection to friends in the classroom are the connections that he misses the most. Both kiddos are on his bus, but they don’r sit together, each has a special harness to keep them safe on the bus and when I watch Bradley get on the bus, I don’t see the light of recognition in his face, I see excitement for the bus and only that. It’s almost as if last year never happened and he never made friends. And it breaks my heart.
In this classroom, he had two aides he really seemed to like, they visited him last year a few times in his classroom and made a point of spending playground time with him so that he would have some familiarity with them this year. Only one is still in his classroom, the other has been moved. So many changes. He is supposed to go to blending twice a week, but right now he can’t get there. As his behaviors return, I’m not sure if it’s worth it to keep up the attempts anymore. Seems like he gets so many changes going on in his classroom that he doesn’t necessarily need the lessons learned from changing classrooms and teachers. They are more scholarly over there...but I just don’t know anymore. I want him to use his brain but I also want him safe. I’m not sure about the fight to get him over there. And at the end of the day, I miss the loss of friendships he was cultivating more than him only getting to blending once this week instead of twice.
Perhaps my brain can’t quite work through to any kind of comfort level with the way he looked getting off the bus yesterday, the bruises on his head from where he started hitting his head again. The long email from his teacher as she is trying to find a safer solution to try with him right away, worried about him and his head too. I keep reminding myself that he was sick yesterday so his world was upside down and kind of sideways...and that means I really have to just get him feeling better first, get him back to school next week and then, see what happens with him at school and decide where we go from here.
His temp has been up and down today, not bad but at its worst, he definitely reacts with tears and searching for snuggles. He didn’t sleep last night, but after sleeping so long yesterday it was to be expected. When the wakeful stage turned to tears and whimpers, it was time to get Motrin in him again...twenty minutes later he was sleeping again. No sleeping today, just playing and then movie, then back to playing, some snuggling when his temp went back up...and then back to movie and playing. I know he’s sick, so I’m not putting demands on him and he’s having a pretty good day, albeit because he’s sick. So we’ll see about the school thing once he feels better enough to go back and then see where his behaviors go from there and take it one day at a time. My poor guy. Sigh...
We’ll just have to see how it goes and take each day as it comes. When we add a communication device we’ll judge his behaviors and go from there. So many changes...time will tell if there are just too many changes after all.
Thursday, October 18, 2018
First School Cold of Third Grade
Bradley has graduated to allergy shots once a month. We haven’t reduced his Zyrtec, or his Flonase - we probably could, but right now he is doing so much better as things are that hitting that previous goal of removing medicines seems a step too far to take. And here is the paradox...remove a med and hope that he doesn’t Backtrack...or stay right where we are and see what happens over the next six months to a year and frankly be ecstatic with how things are for him right now. When he’s doing well, the last thing I want to do is change anything... but still...
And we won’t be trying it any time soon as he came home from school with a fever today. The Santa Ana winds kicked up at the beginning of the week, when that happens we try to keep him out of the wind as much as possible. Too bad the bathroom is a considerable distance from his classroom; yeah, sort of inevitable really. He had a lot of behaviors at school. Hitting his head...all the stuff I hate to hear about and know that he’s doing, but somewhere along the way I was handed the adulting job, so I have to hear about all that stuff. And despite the reassurances that Bradley was doing all right, his teacher still had the behaviorist trying to work with him today.
For some reason, my guy doesn’t like to return to the classroom after the bathroom breaks. Today he felt like crap so he was off the charts in his behaviors. So he came home with a couple bumps on his head because he reverted to trying (and today successfully) hitting his head on the ground. Apparently, they tried a sort of foam like helmet; well um yeah, that didn’t match his outfit so he tossed it. Just kidding, thing is he doesn’t like hats; in fact, he hates them. And the thing about Bradley is, he is the same today as he has been the last six years. He does not have one thing that he loves more than anything else and will follow rules and compliance just so he can have that toy or that treat. He lights up for one thing for a few days maybe a week, and then he doesn’t care if he can’t have it. He just moves o to whatever is available. So yeah, School was rough today.
My boy came to the top of the stairs of the bus, and I looked at him and could just say: “My poor boy, you had a rough day buddy.” He climbed down into my arms, and put his head on my shoulder and we came inside. He sat down on the floor, then laid down. So we spent some time there as I helped him with his shoes and socks, then gently checked out his battle wounds from the day. I finally told him “come here bud” and he crawled into my lap and laid his head on my shoulder and we sat there until he started to fall asleep, letting me rub his head (which he never does because he thinks I’m stealing his soul or something) before I got up with him and we sat on the couch. A few drinks of juice later, he was sacked out and took a good two hour nap.
He is better this evening, surprisingly down at about his usual time for bed, so that tells us he is just really exhausted and not feeling well. We’ll see how he does through the night whether or not we go see his doc tomorrow. The fever returns we’ll go in, but for now he is fever free...go team Motrin. Fever free and hopefully pain free for the night which I am hoping means a good night’s sleep for him and me...followed by a day where he is feeling better and recovering tomorrow. Time will tell of course, but I am hoping that this is just a mild cold that goes away quickly.
Unfortunately, Bradley will miss the school Jog-a-thon, which is only a bummer because he loves to run out on that field. Tomorrow will also probably be a wind free day, just because. But if it is, we’ll go outside and have our own jog-a-thon if he’s feeling better. But we’ll see how it goes.
For now, everyone to sleep except Madison who is busy finishing up her AP US History homework. Finally, a night I get to bed before she does! Hah!
And we won’t be trying it any time soon as he came home from school with a fever today. The Santa Ana winds kicked up at the beginning of the week, when that happens we try to keep him out of the wind as much as possible. Too bad the bathroom is a considerable distance from his classroom; yeah, sort of inevitable really. He had a lot of behaviors at school. Hitting his head...all the stuff I hate to hear about and know that he’s doing, but somewhere along the way I was handed the adulting job, so I have to hear about all that stuff. And despite the reassurances that Bradley was doing all right, his teacher still had the behaviorist trying to work with him today.
For some reason, my guy doesn’t like to return to the classroom after the bathroom breaks. Today he felt like crap so he was off the charts in his behaviors. So he came home with a couple bumps on his head because he reverted to trying (and today successfully) hitting his head on the ground. Apparently, they tried a sort of foam like helmet; well um yeah, that didn’t match his outfit so he tossed it. Just kidding, thing is he doesn’t like hats; in fact, he hates them. And the thing about Bradley is, he is the same today as he has been the last six years. He does not have one thing that he loves more than anything else and will follow rules and compliance just so he can have that toy or that treat. He lights up for one thing for a few days maybe a week, and then he doesn’t care if he can’t have it. He just moves o to whatever is available. So yeah, School was rough today.
My boy came to the top of the stairs of the bus, and I looked at him and could just say: “My poor boy, you had a rough day buddy.” He climbed down into my arms, and put his head on my shoulder and we came inside. He sat down on the floor, then laid down. So we spent some time there as I helped him with his shoes and socks, then gently checked out his battle wounds from the day. I finally told him “come here bud” and he crawled into my lap and laid his head on my shoulder and we sat there until he started to fall asleep, letting me rub his head (which he never does because he thinks I’m stealing his soul or something) before I got up with him and we sat on the couch. A few drinks of juice later, he was sacked out and took a good two hour nap.
He is better this evening, surprisingly down at about his usual time for bed, so that tells us he is just really exhausted and not feeling well. We’ll see how he does through the night whether or not we go see his doc tomorrow. The fever returns we’ll go in, but for now he is fever free...go team Motrin. Fever free and hopefully pain free for the night which I am hoping means a good night’s sleep for him and me...followed by a day where he is feeling better and recovering tomorrow. Time will tell of course, but I am hoping that this is just a mild cold that goes away quickly.
Unfortunately, Bradley will miss the school Jog-a-thon, which is only a bummer because he loves to run out on that field. Tomorrow will also probably be a wind free day, just because. But if it is, we’ll go outside and have our own jog-a-thon if he’s feeling better. But we’ll see how it goes.
For now, everyone to sleep except Madison who is busy finishing up her AP US History homework. Finally, a night I get to bed before she does! Hah!
Wednesday, October 17, 2018
These Schools!!!
I keep threatening to HomeSchool my kids. Problem is, I truly lack the patience, the imagination, and at their levels in school: the ability. Madison is doing math I barely passed in High School. Sydney is doing Biology that I vaguely recall having in school and something about a fetal pig... which I don’t even know if they still do in classes now. And now she’s talking about being a surgeon, potentially a Neurosurgeon... so I feel the pressure that the teacher has to be pretty great and know his or her stuff, cause we’re literally talking brain surgery potential here.
That being said, I am sick and tired of money hungry schools. And I’m not talking about the PTA or PTSA, although why my family has to fork over money for each member is beyond me. I signed my girls up, you don’t give me a membership ID, so that cool list of discounts I can get are their word against mine, I don’t carry that particular receipt around in my wallet. I have a hundred other ones which makes me a great target for a pickpocket... “Oh, look how thick her wallet is, bet she has a ton of money in there?” Hah!!!! Suckers! The only things I have in there are receipts for school stuff and moths that will take an eye out they move out of there so fast!
Every year, money just bleeds out of us as we just try to successfully send our kids to school. It’s endless: pictures, supplies, insurance on laptops, clothes, shoes, PE clothes or for Madison dance clothes and Sydney, volleyball gear, then there are the fees for joining a club or being in band, and then there is always another round of supplies needed. Because the first set is our best guess to try to get them through the first month, by then either a list has come home or Back to School night happens and then there’s a whole other list. But then you have the fun stuff to do, like dances and sporting events. Everything has a price, from football games to school dances - bigger the dance event, bigger the price. In two weeks, my girls are playing a band concert...I have to pay ten bucks per person for that, but didn’t I just fork over a ton to get your band thing going? I mean I get that this is a newer school, smaller program, smaller funding - but does it all really have to come from my pocket? Can’t you guys apply for a grant or something? Just askin’ - uh, for a friend. I love to support! Go Band! (Where is that sarcasm font anyway?) Thing is, I am all for music. I love the place it has in the lives of my kids, I just can’t fund the kind of instruments that we just have to have.
Yeah, the constant need gets to me, not that I don’t understand the need. And it could be much worse, but there are reasons for some of the roads we take - like our middle kid would pass out from the heat in marching band. And the required $1800 price tag almost made me pass out. I was light headed just from hearing the price, mixed with sheer gratitude that Volleyball worked out because Sydney wanted to do Marching band as an alternative, her heat issues and that price tag would have seriously put a damper on that potential for sure. Everything has a price; Volleyball did...but it wasn’t like band.
So yeah, these things get wearisome. But nothing makes me consider homeschooling like the Administration running these schools in these districts. I’m sick to death of these people having more say over my kid than they let me have. I don’t get to say my kid is sick and with me; nope, I am no longer reliable or responsible for my kid. I can’t be trusted! Facts aside, how do they know? Haha. But seriously, the schools are so busy pinching pennies that I have to provide a note from someone more responsible than me if I have to take them out of school. If there is doctor’s note then the only excusable absence is for death in the family. If one of my kids is ill and wants,to leave early, I have to take her to the doctor and get a note for it, or it isn’t excusable. I have to plan ahead. If there is a potential that they might not make it through the day, they have to just stay home sick for the whole day, no partials here. It’s ridiculous! That’s how badly the district wants their money, because if you have two unexcused absences parents get a nasty gram sent to the house suggesting punishments for student and parents alike. It’s not about the quality of education, it’s about getting paid for each butt in a seat. If it were about safety; a phone call would happen at the beginning of a class, not ten hours later by an automated machine. It’s about the money. The girls are hanging on just wanting to finish and I can’t blame them! High School, I too am holding on, only wanting them to be finished with High School because of the school and the district. How sad. Ready for them to be done so I can be done with the school.
And why did I feel the need to pick on band? Simple. The freshman class was required to attend a Career Day event in the Performing Arts Center between periods 1-3. Who hit my kid with an unexcused absence? Band. It’s always band. For Madison, it has always been a mistake in band... Sydney now has the same issue. So I have to call and point out that she was there at school and that it has to be corrected, then I have to check in the morning to make sure. Cause I have nothing but time to do all this. Okay, time maybe - but patience...not likely.
The frustration is real for sure! Why do I like Bradley’s school? I just email his teacher he’s absent and she says ok, and then that’s that. Who knew that when they said sometimes he would be the easiest...it would be totally true. I refuse to think about High School with Bradley. Won’t even consider thinking about Middle School right now. One day at a time for Bradley. Actually, one day at a time with the girls too, sometime that’s just the best answer over all.
Another crazy day, into a crazy night and now a quiet night, just waiting for me to sleep with everyone else. Until tomorrow folks... Good night! Thanks for tagging along.
That being said, I am sick and tired of money hungry schools. And I’m not talking about the PTA or PTSA, although why my family has to fork over money for each member is beyond me. I signed my girls up, you don’t give me a membership ID, so that cool list of discounts I can get are their word against mine, I don’t carry that particular receipt around in my wallet. I have a hundred other ones which makes me a great target for a pickpocket... “Oh, look how thick her wallet is, bet she has a ton of money in there?” Hah!!!! Suckers! The only things I have in there are receipts for school stuff and moths that will take an eye out they move out of there so fast!
Every year, money just bleeds out of us as we just try to successfully send our kids to school. It’s endless: pictures, supplies, insurance on laptops, clothes, shoes, PE clothes or for Madison dance clothes and Sydney, volleyball gear, then there are the fees for joining a club or being in band, and then there is always another round of supplies needed. Because the first set is our best guess to try to get them through the first month, by then either a list has come home or Back to School night happens and then there’s a whole other list. But then you have the fun stuff to do, like dances and sporting events. Everything has a price, from football games to school dances - bigger the dance event, bigger the price. In two weeks, my girls are playing a band concert...I have to pay ten bucks per person for that, but didn’t I just fork over a ton to get your band thing going? I mean I get that this is a newer school, smaller program, smaller funding - but does it all really have to come from my pocket? Can’t you guys apply for a grant or something? Just askin’ - uh, for a friend. I love to support! Go Band! (Where is that sarcasm font anyway?) Thing is, I am all for music. I love the place it has in the lives of my kids, I just can’t fund the kind of instruments that we just have to have.
Yeah, the constant need gets to me, not that I don’t understand the need. And it could be much worse, but there are reasons for some of the roads we take - like our middle kid would pass out from the heat in marching band. And the required $1800 price tag almost made me pass out. I was light headed just from hearing the price, mixed with sheer gratitude that Volleyball worked out because Sydney wanted to do Marching band as an alternative, her heat issues and that price tag would have seriously put a damper on that potential for sure. Everything has a price; Volleyball did...but it wasn’t like band.
So yeah, these things get wearisome. But nothing makes me consider homeschooling like the Administration running these schools in these districts. I’m sick to death of these people having more say over my kid than they let me have. I don’t get to say my kid is sick and with me; nope, I am no longer reliable or responsible for my kid. I can’t be trusted! Facts aside, how do they know? Haha. But seriously, the schools are so busy pinching pennies that I have to provide a note from someone more responsible than me if I have to take them out of school. If there is doctor’s note then the only excusable absence is for death in the family. If one of my kids is ill and wants,to leave early, I have to take her to the doctor and get a note for it, or it isn’t excusable. I have to plan ahead. If there is a potential that they might not make it through the day, they have to just stay home sick for the whole day, no partials here. It’s ridiculous! That’s how badly the district wants their money, because if you have two unexcused absences parents get a nasty gram sent to the house suggesting punishments for student and parents alike. It’s not about the quality of education, it’s about getting paid for each butt in a seat. If it were about safety; a phone call would happen at the beginning of a class, not ten hours later by an automated machine. It’s about the money. The girls are hanging on just wanting to finish and I can’t blame them! High School, I too am holding on, only wanting them to be finished with High School because of the school and the district. How sad. Ready for them to be done so I can be done with the school.
And why did I feel the need to pick on band? Simple. The freshman class was required to attend a Career Day event in the Performing Arts Center between periods 1-3. Who hit my kid with an unexcused absence? Band. It’s always band. For Madison, it has always been a mistake in band... Sydney now has the same issue. So I have to call and point out that she was there at school and that it has to be corrected, then I have to check in the morning to make sure. Cause I have nothing but time to do all this. Okay, time maybe - but patience...not likely.
The frustration is real for sure! Why do I like Bradley’s school? I just email his teacher he’s absent and she says ok, and then that’s that. Who knew that when they said sometimes he would be the easiest...it would be totally true. I refuse to think about High School with Bradley. Won’t even consider thinking about Middle School right now. One day at a time for Bradley. Actually, one day at a time with the girls too, sometime that’s just the best answer over all.
Another crazy day, into a crazy night and now a quiet night, just waiting for me to sleep with everyone else. Until tomorrow folks... Good night! Thanks for tagging along.
Tuesday, October 16, 2018
Deciphering his Log
Bradley has a communication log that travels back and forth between school and home. It’s a composition book, and his teacher and I write to each other. So far this year I’ve learned a lot about how Bradley isn’t quite listening in class and protesting changing from one preferred task to an unpreferred. He now knows that eventually teachers and staff go away and he gets a whole new bunch of teachers and staff. Right now, he is waiting for that to happen with his Occupational Therapist. He loves her, he does - he hugs her and smiles and will work for her, but if he didn’t have to work so hard, well that would make him happier. Speech, he’s good with her and still enjoys individual and group lessons. She starts making him do too many things that he doesn’t want to do and well, he’ll be waiting for her to be switched out too. Hey, you keep changing out teachers and aides and well, you get what you get. And his teacher knew this and she’ll tell me, you told us he was going to test us and well, he is.
I hear good stuff too. When he transitions well, when he follows directions, when he works well - especially when he decides to work for his Occupational Therapist. Let’s face it, that’s just good news. But usually, I get the rough parts of his day so we can try to brainstorm on how to fix the issues, how to help him adjust better to school...all this and then some of the good too. It’s so hard because there isn’t enough time to do anything but give me a small snapshot, between class and medical needs, and everything else there just isn’t time to sit and write me a small book about Bradley’s day.
Lately, it seems that his book is always full of behavior issues and all those things that we have tried to remove with his therapies the last few years. So of course, I started getting nervous that all the work we put in was going to be all for nothing and right back into therapies. Who knows, we might be headed back there, but at least not at this moment it would seem. When I went to Bradley’s assessment for technology I spoke to his teacher about his behavior. I asked if we needed to start bringing in the behaviorist that she told me she had at the ready. She just smiled and told me that he was doing fine and starting to get the hang of things in the classroom. Weird since I’d been hearing that he was scratching and bit someone and then threw his toy at someone when getting off the bus because he didn’t want it anymore. But apparently, he is not as much trouble as his book was leading me to believe.
With that in mind, I wonder if I can take today’s book message for truth to not. Apparently, he had a great day. Is that a true great day, or a sort of great day, or a day better because he’s been better than usual? Good grief! I kind of read his book each day and wonder how much is being left out. How much of the good stuff and how much of the rough stuff is actually a true picture of his day. Do they have to dig through his day looking for a needle in a haystack in order to find a good bit of news to share about his day? Or same way for the bad bits? Not likely, Bradley isn’t good at compliance. He tries to be, he wants to, but he just can’t always get himself to listen and comply when he’s told too.
We can only hope that as Bradley’s communication skills increase; his understanding of why, how, and when to listen and follow directions will improve too. For right now, we’re just going to be happy that according to the book, Bradley had a great day. And though it wasn’t clear, he might be taking steps towards potty training too...but until I have confirmation on mostly dry diapers I won’t be getting too excited. If he doesn’t have fluid output at school then we have more than behavior problems for sure. Friday is the big Jog-a-thon for the elementary school, Bradley’s class will be out on a smaller circle track and I’ll go to help out with him, the kids, whatever is needed when our classes join other classes in an open field with plenty of reason and incentives to run. Somewhere in there, I hope to talk briefly with his teacher to find out if we are having any positive potty training happening or if my guy is not producing enough fluid. Here’s hoping for the positive side of things and nothing needing medical intervention.
The tidbits of the good and bad from his days are tough to interpret indeed. Something tells me his communication book is going to be full by the end of his year. Or maybe at the end of the first trimester with how much is being written. Yikes!!!
I hear good stuff too. When he transitions well, when he follows directions, when he works well - especially when he decides to work for his Occupational Therapist. Let’s face it, that’s just good news. But usually, I get the rough parts of his day so we can try to brainstorm on how to fix the issues, how to help him adjust better to school...all this and then some of the good too. It’s so hard because there isn’t enough time to do anything but give me a small snapshot, between class and medical needs, and everything else there just isn’t time to sit and write me a small book about Bradley’s day.
Lately, it seems that his book is always full of behavior issues and all those things that we have tried to remove with his therapies the last few years. So of course, I started getting nervous that all the work we put in was going to be all for nothing and right back into therapies. Who knows, we might be headed back there, but at least not at this moment it would seem. When I went to Bradley’s assessment for technology I spoke to his teacher about his behavior. I asked if we needed to start bringing in the behaviorist that she told me she had at the ready. She just smiled and told me that he was doing fine and starting to get the hang of things in the classroom. Weird since I’d been hearing that he was scratching and bit someone and then threw his toy at someone when getting off the bus because he didn’t want it anymore. But apparently, he is not as much trouble as his book was leading me to believe.
With that in mind, I wonder if I can take today’s book message for truth to not. Apparently, he had a great day. Is that a true great day, or a sort of great day, or a day better because he’s been better than usual? Good grief! I kind of read his book each day and wonder how much is being left out. How much of the good stuff and how much of the rough stuff is actually a true picture of his day. Do they have to dig through his day looking for a needle in a haystack in order to find a good bit of news to share about his day? Or same way for the bad bits? Not likely, Bradley isn’t good at compliance. He tries to be, he wants to, but he just can’t always get himself to listen and comply when he’s told too.
We can only hope that as Bradley’s communication skills increase; his understanding of why, how, and when to listen and follow directions will improve too. For right now, we’re just going to be happy that according to the book, Bradley had a great day. And though it wasn’t clear, he might be taking steps towards potty training too...but until I have confirmation on mostly dry diapers I won’t be getting too excited. If he doesn’t have fluid output at school then we have more than behavior problems for sure. Friday is the big Jog-a-thon for the elementary school, Bradley’s class will be out on a smaller circle track and I’ll go to help out with him, the kids, whatever is needed when our classes join other classes in an open field with plenty of reason and incentives to run. Somewhere in there, I hope to talk briefly with his teacher to find out if we are having any positive potty training happening or if my guy is not producing enough fluid. Here’s hoping for the positive side of things and nothing needing medical intervention.
The tidbits of the good and bad from his days are tough to interpret indeed. Something tells me his communication book is going to be full by the end of his year. Or maybe at the end of the first trimester with how much is being written. Yikes!!!
Monday, October 15, 2018
Still Listening
While Eric went to class, I took the kids to the Volleyball Families Appreciation Night at Sports Academy. I lost the girls immediately as they first found one of their favorite coaches, then they left her and found their teammates. I helped Bradley from the safety of his stroller and then he started to run around the Club. At first it was mostly melee, but I noticed the girls had acquired basketballs, so I caught his attention and told him that his sisters had Basketballs, but he didn’t respond, so I bent closer made him look at me and signed to him that his sisters had basketballs, then he looked for them and went running to play with them. They played with him a couple minutes but then a game of dodgeball,started, so Bradley and I went in search of a different game to play with a ball. We tried to play soccer, but then he started to wander back towards the girls, so I asked him if he wanted to eat. Again, he was not tuning in to me, so I stopped him, got down to his level and signed with him. Turns out he was ready to eat and he told me so. He also knew where to go.
We walked out to the food area and he ran up to the meats and pointed to hotdogs, so I asked him if he wants a hotdog, he told me “yes.” So I told him we needed a plate and a bun, so we walked to the table. Bradley grabbed a water bottle and handed it to me, “I said thanks.” He managed a bit of “welcome.” I understood. So I pointed to the condiments and asked him what he wanted, he pointed to all three: ketchup, mustard, and relish. Then he said no to chips but yes to a cookie, smart boy.
Off we went to sit down, so I pointed to the area by his stroller, so he took off and ran over and hopped into his stroller to sit. So he has choking issues, so what ensued was this mom trying to as neatly as possible, to help Bradley navigate safely through eating a hotdog without a knife. After his first bite, Bradley was so happy, he ditched his shoes and then his socks. When he finished his hotdog, he ate most of the cookie, then wanted his shoes. I told him he had to finish his cookie first, so he ate a couple more bites and then tried to feed me the rest of his cookie - so we shared it. So I put his shoes on him again, and ask him “what now?” He signs to eat more. So off we went.
He ran to the hotdogs again, and I said how about chips, which he was a big negative on. But then we saw Shaved Ice. So I get him over there and sure enough it’s the one thing that costs money. But the lady was sweet and offered to give him a sample, which was great because sometimes the liquid to solid in his mouth doesn’t work. She gave him a half a cup! I’m like, wow that’s a large sample. She just grinned at me. So Bradley and I head back to sit, but first he tries to walk between two people talking, so I stop him and take his hand and apologize for interrupting...but they just smiled at him and told him he could stay and join their conversation. Sweet. But we had shaved ice to try, so we walked back inside and Bradley ran back to his stroller seat and proceeded to ditch his shoes and his socks. He ate all his shaved ice and then all of his apple sauce laced medicine. Then knowing he would be getting very sleepy very soon, I put his socks and shoes back on and took him over to the kids soccer setup. So I kept telling him to kick the ball, stop picking it up and kick with your feet, no hands... and on and on. So finally, I bent down and signed to him, no hands, no throw - kick the ball. So then Bradley kicked the ball.
For a couple more minutes Bradley and I repeated this, and when I signed to him he understood what to do and would try to follow the directions. I watched him chasing the balls and I was overwhelmed by how stiff he runs, how he doesn’t seem to know how to bend his knees. He needs Physical Therapy still. And as a I considered his movements and his responses to each time I made him look at me and he would sign back and forth with me...I realized how much he still needs signs. And tonight for the first time, he was engaging with me with signs and words, repeating as many words as possible. He was hugging people, giving high fives, and looking at people and saying Hi, and thank you’s.
Well, after all the soccer, I watched his battery run down to zero, and I told him let’s go. He walked beside me, his eyes huge and dilated, his expression closing off to the sleepy face that we all get when exhaustion hits so hard. He climbed up and I strapped him in. He reached for his shoes, but I took them and his socks off for him. I gave him his movie and within five minutes, he was sacked out.
By 7:39 I told the girls to wrap it up, and we headed home. He was awake for the car ride, but willingly followed me to his room for jammies and meds. As I vented him, I noticed his button was dangerously loose. Sure enough, the balloon had burst. So I changed out his button, finishing as dad came through the front door. But Bradley did well, didn’t fight as hard just objected to the cold lubricant that we use on the new balloon to slide the stem of the new button into place. In fact, he knocked it out the first time and I had to pop it back in. But we got it, Dad got him into his jammies while I cleaned up and sleep for Bradley happened soon after.
After the long day yesterday, school, and then goofing around today...Madison and Sydney were out close to as quickly as Bradley was. Tired kids! Since Eric is currently asleep beside me... and I believe every animal we have is also asleep....I’ll just say, “Tired house.”
I see now that I have to practice my signs because I am getting rusty. Bradley still needs them and
does better in an overwhelming situation when he has them. I didn’t know if he was was listening, so I didn’t know how many I should keep using...turns out he is listening more now than ever.
Brushing up on old signs tomorrow and learning some new ones to teach us both. Time to keep the conversation going sweet boy...I’m listening.
We walked out to the food area and he ran up to the meats and pointed to hotdogs, so I asked him if he wants a hotdog, he told me “yes.” So I told him we needed a plate and a bun, so we walked to the table. Bradley grabbed a water bottle and handed it to me, “I said thanks.” He managed a bit of “welcome.” I understood. So I pointed to the condiments and asked him what he wanted, he pointed to all three: ketchup, mustard, and relish. Then he said no to chips but yes to a cookie, smart boy.
Off we went to sit down, so I pointed to the area by his stroller, so he took off and ran over and hopped into his stroller to sit. So he has choking issues, so what ensued was this mom trying to as neatly as possible, to help Bradley navigate safely through eating a hotdog without a knife. After his first bite, Bradley was so happy, he ditched his shoes and then his socks. When he finished his hotdog, he ate most of the cookie, then wanted his shoes. I told him he had to finish his cookie first, so he ate a couple more bites and then tried to feed me the rest of his cookie - so we shared it. So I put his shoes on him again, and ask him “what now?” He signs to eat more. So off we went.
He ran to the hotdogs again, and I said how about chips, which he was a big negative on. But then we saw Shaved Ice. So I get him over there and sure enough it’s the one thing that costs money. But the lady was sweet and offered to give him a sample, which was great because sometimes the liquid to solid in his mouth doesn’t work. She gave him a half a cup! I’m like, wow that’s a large sample. She just grinned at me. So Bradley and I head back to sit, but first he tries to walk between two people talking, so I stop him and take his hand and apologize for interrupting...but they just smiled at him and told him he could stay and join their conversation. Sweet. But we had shaved ice to try, so we walked back inside and Bradley ran back to his stroller seat and proceeded to ditch his shoes and his socks. He ate all his shaved ice and then all of his apple sauce laced medicine. Then knowing he would be getting very sleepy very soon, I put his socks and shoes back on and took him over to the kids soccer setup. So I kept telling him to kick the ball, stop picking it up and kick with your feet, no hands... and on and on. So finally, I bent down and signed to him, no hands, no throw - kick the ball. So then Bradley kicked the ball.
For a couple more minutes Bradley and I repeated this, and when I signed to him he understood what to do and would try to follow the directions. I watched him chasing the balls and I was overwhelmed by how stiff he runs, how he doesn’t seem to know how to bend his knees. He needs Physical Therapy still. And as a I considered his movements and his responses to each time I made him look at me and he would sign back and forth with me...I realized how much he still needs signs. And tonight for the first time, he was engaging with me with signs and words, repeating as many words as possible. He was hugging people, giving high fives, and looking at people and saying Hi, and thank you’s.
Well, after all the soccer, I watched his battery run down to zero, and I told him let’s go. He walked beside me, his eyes huge and dilated, his expression closing off to the sleepy face that we all get when exhaustion hits so hard. He climbed up and I strapped him in. He reached for his shoes, but I took them and his socks off for him. I gave him his movie and within five minutes, he was sacked out.
By 7:39 I told the girls to wrap it up, and we headed home. He was awake for the car ride, but willingly followed me to his room for jammies and meds. As I vented him, I noticed his button was dangerously loose. Sure enough, the balloon had burst. So I changed out his button, finishing as dad came through the front door. But Bradley did well, didn’t fight as hard just objected to the cold lubricant that we use on the new balloon to slide the stem of the new button into place. In fact, he knocked it out the first time and I had to pop it back in. But we got it, Dad got him into his jammies while I cleaned up and sleep for Bradley happened soon after.
After the long day yesterday, school, and then goofing around today...Madison and Sydney were out close to as quickly as Bradley was. Tired kids! Since Eric is currently asleep beside me... and I believe every animal we have is also asleep....I’ll just say, “Tired house.”
I see now that I have to practice my signs because I am getting rusty. Bradley still needs them and
does better in an overwhelming situation when he has them. I didn’t know if he was was listening, so I didn’t know how many I should keep using...turns out he is listening more now than ever.
Brushing up on old signs tomorrow and learning some new ones to teach us both. Time to keep the conversation going sweet boy...I’m listening.
Sunday, October 14, 2018
A Really Busy Sunday - For Some
Today the girls had the opportunity to go and be ambassadors to a group of teenagers from Japan. Sports Academy, the Club they play Volleyball for, hosted the event and invited our athletes to come and volunteer to be demonstrators to help bridge the language barrier. I asked the girls if they wanted or do it on Wednesday, Sydney has been so excited since, she started peppering me with phrases she might need to know so she could communicate with her new friends. So I gave her a bunch and then when she got home from school I handed her my favorite phrase books so she could study. And she did study, then today she took her note cards with her. I asked her if she was using her phrases and she laughed and said, “Not really. Mostly: hello, thank you, sorry...stuff like that.” Made me laugh when she said every time she said thank you in Japanese, her group responded with thank you in English. This I totally get because this happened to me all the time in Japan. So we both laughed over this. Madison had a blast too. She loved her group and really hopes that she gets a chance to go and do this kind of day with more potential groups. Both girls really enjoyed their day and their company. Perhaps they are both a little homesick for Japan now, but that’s not such a bad thing either. We want them to remember Japan and how much they loved their time there, it’s important.
As for Bradley, he spent the day with Eric and I. He and I sat on the floor while he inspected every little car he has and pulled out every one connected with Lightning McQueen; so of course, we had to choose his McQueen shirt to wear for the day. And then, when Dad got home from dropping the girls, he brought treats in a pink box. Bradley picked up the mini muffins I was giving him, placed them on my plate and pointed at the pink box. Then he proceeded to spend then rest of the day intermittently showing me that he can roll his tongue with superb accuracy and style. He can even sneak it into a kiss, because he’s a stinkpot like that.
The three of us went to dinner, and he pointed to cheese pizza three times before the waiter finally showed up to take our order. I turned over his paper menu to see if we could draw...he pointed to and said “bus,” then he pushed the paper away. Just because he CAN color, doesn’t mean he has any desire too. With his pizza, we ordered honey bbq chicken wings, his favorite! He kept pointing to them, even as I was feeding him pieces, he still kept pointing to the platter until all the chicken was on his plate. Only then was he satisfied to stop pointing. Crazy lunatic boy.
All in all, it was kind of a quiet day, or a calm day, with Bradley. These are proving to be fewer and further between, so we were pretty happy to mix this one in today. It will take me a couple hours to get the house back into shape tomorrow, but that’s okay. He was a busy little guy today. His sisters were busy little girls today too... tomorrow, I can set things straight and they get back to their chores and Bradley keeps on rolling his tongue, jabbering, and hopefully still throwing us some intricate and curious little hand gestures that only mean things to him, but look really cute to us. He’s copying something, just haven’t figured out what yet. Haha.
Since part of today included a nap for the three of us, this is a short little note to end Sunday on. Mom and dad are battling some strange make you cough cold, so the nap helped...and the medicine is making me sleepy. The girls were exhausted, Bradley was too since his weekend mornings always start earlier than his school days...so except for the dog snoring - it’s a pretty quiet night...perfect sleeping conditions Bradley... do this for me buddy! Just in case he doesn’t choose to do this for me, I’m headed to sleep too.
Until tomorrow friends, have a safe and good night!
As for Bradley, he spent the day with Eric and I. He and I sat on the floor while he inspected every little car he has and pulled out every one connected with Lightning McQueen; so of course, we had to choose his McQueen shirt to wear for the day. And then, when Dad got home from dropping the girls, he brought treats in a pink box. Bradley picked up the mini muffins I was giving him, placed them on my plate and pointed at the pink box. Then he proceeded to spend then rest of the day intermittently showing me that he can roll his tongue with superb accuracy and style. He can even sneak it into a kiss, because he’s a stinkpot like that.
The three of us went to dinner, and he pointed to cheese pizza three times before the waiter finally showed up to take our order. I turned over his paper menu to see if we could draw...he pointed to and said “bus,” then he pushed the paper away. Just because he CAN color, doesn’t mean he has any desire too. With his pizza, we ordered honey bbq chicken wings, his favorite! He kept pointing to them, even as I was feeding him pieces, he still kept pointing to the platter until all the chicken was on his plate. Only then was he satisfied to stop pointing. Crazy lunatic boy.
All in all, it was kind of a quiet day, or a calm day, with Bradley. These are proving to be fewer and further between, so we were pretty happy to mix this one in today. It will take me a couple hours to get the house back into shape tomorrow, but that’s okay. He was a busy little guy today. His sisters were busy little girls today too... tomorrow, I can set things straight and they get back to their chores and Bradley keeps on rolling his tongue, jabbering, and hopefully still throwing us some intricate and curious little hand gestures that only mean things to him, but look really cute to us. He’s copying something, just haven’t figured out what yet. Haha.
Since part of today included a nap for the three of us, this is a short little note to end Sunday on. Mom and dad are battling some strange make you cough cold, so the nap helped...and the medicine is making me sleepy. The girls were exhausted, Bradley was too since his weekend mornings always start earlier than his school days...so except for the dog snoring - it’s a pretty quiet night...perfect sleeping conditions Bradley... do this for me buddy! Just in case he doesn’t choose to do this for me, I’m headed to sleep too.
Until tomorrow friends, have a safe and good night!
Saturday, October 13, 2018
About That Nest
The day my daughter got her license, I was overwhelmed with anxiety and pride at the same time. She did it, and now she had stepped into a whole new world of independence and growing up. When she drove off to school on her own, it was a surreal moment and it made me cry knowing that I can’t protect her on the road, that there is so much in life she has to do on her own and I can’t be there for her. I can be a phone call away, I can be the place she comes home too, but she has to do this life on her own. And I want her to, I want her to grab life by the horns and run with it living life to the fullest and being happy in it. She is living her life fully, nothing less would be acceptable, no matter what Mom feels inside.
And then I closed my eyes and when I opened them again, my oldest is driving my second child to school with her. Watching them drive off was so hard, letting them go and knowing that life changed completely and there is no going back. They are teens, so close to the next step in their journey and their parents will be as much a part of their lives as they have time and patience for us. Because life marches on and we just keep stepping forward, sometimes sideways...sometimes a little bit back. But always life keeps marching on whether we want it to slow down or not.
And then there was the day that the girls left together, following behind the bus that took Bradley away too. All at once, the three of them were gone, not in the same vehicle, but all gone at the same time. And it gave me a lump in my throat and it left me standing on the sidewalk as I watched them all ride away, leaving me behind. And as hard as it was in that moment; it was as it is meant to be. The kids leave the nest and the parents are left to turn bedrooms into craft rooms, and remodel houses and somehow try to create a new life without the kids in it everyday. And we just worry about them. Our brains can only take so much stress and anxiety, so we get numb to it, and try to keep the Faith that all will be well, that all will work out somehow. And if things go awry, our phones will ring and we’ll do the best we can for these precious kids that carry our hearts outside of our bodies.
My kids are growing up but are still young enough that at the end of the day, they come home. And Eric and I know that Bradley will likely always be home with us, and that’s a good thing for us. Medically speaking, probably the best for him too. The girls sometimes say they are thinking of staying home; real life gets scary sometimes, and we smile and always tell them they don’t have to rush away. We give them the reassurance that home is here and that they can be home, come home. But we smile knowing that as each day gets closer, the girls are starting to flap their wings and test the skies... we might get lucky and they come back, but we both know that life is waiting for them and they are destined for amazing futures - where ever that takes them.
If they don’t come back for us, we think they’ll be back for Bradley. They each have special bonds with their brother, blood ties count for sure - but the connections created with Bradley go beyond blood ties. I want to believe that love will find space in whatever lives the girls lead, and love always counts the most. Knowing how hard this is going to be on Bradley (let alone Dad and I) as they drive off to their tomorrows, it makes each day with them a little more poignant, each babysitting opportunity that they get to spend with just Bradley, more precious. They don’t see it right now, but Dad and I, we see it and we feel it, and these are the memories we store for those fast approaching tomorrows.
And then I closed my eyes and when I opened them again, my oldest is driving my second child to school with her. Watching them drive off was so hard, letting them go and knowing that life changed completely and there is no going back. They are teens, so close to the next step in their journey and their parents will be as much a part of their lives as they have time and patience for us. Because life marches on and we just keep stepping forward, sometimes sideways...sometimes a little bit back. But always life keeps marching on whether we want it to slow down or not.
And then there was the day that the girls left together, following behind the bus that took Bradley away too. All at once, the three of them were gone, not in the same vehicle, but all gone at the same time. And it gave me a lump in my throat and it left me standing on the sidewalk as I watched them all ride away, leaving me behind. And as hard as it was in that moment; it was as it is meant to be. The kids leave the nest and the parents are left to turn bedrooms into craft rooms, and remodel houses and somehow try to create a new life without the kids in it everyday. And we just worry about them. Our brains can only take so much stress and anxiety, so we get numb to it, and try to keep the Faith that all will be well, that all will work out somehow. And if things go awry, our phones will ring and we’ll do the best we can for these precious kids that carry our hearts outside of our bodies.
My kids are growing up but are still young enough that at the end of the day, they come home. And Eric and I know that Bradley will likely always be home with us, and that’s a good thing for us. Medically speaking, probably the best for him too. The girls sometimes say they are thinking of staying home; real life gets scary sometimes, and we smile and always tell them they don’t have to rush away. We give them the reassurance that home is here and that they can be home, come home. But we smile knowing that as each day gets closer, the girls are starting to flap their wings and test the skies... we might get lucky and they come back, but we both know that life is waiting for them and they are destined for amazing futures - where ever that takes them.
If they don’t come back for us, we think they’ll be back for Bradley. They each have special bonds with their brother, blood ties count for sure - but the connections created with Bradley go beyond blood ties. I want to believe that love will find space in whatever lives the girls lead, and love always counts the most. Knowing how hard this is going to be on Bradley (let alone Dad and I) as they drive off to their tomorrows, it makes each day with them a little more poignant, each babysitting opportunity that they get to spend with just Bradley, more precious. They don’t see it right now, but Dad and I, we see it and we feel it, and these are the memories we store for those fast approaching tomorrows.
Friday, October 12, 2018
The Importance of his Movie!
Bradley and I are hanging out this afternoon, I was trying to engage him in some play, but after a bit he kind of blew me off (fear not, this happens a lot so my feelings are still intact) and started watching his movie...that would be his word and sign for his IPad. So I am sitting here watching and listening to him as he moves from “Boss Baby,” to “Cars 3,” “Taio,” and “Mickey’s Twice Upon A Christmas.” Why am I listening? Today Bradley has decided to try to repeat every sound he hears.
From the music, to the exclamations, to the words...he is trying to repeat it all. And then he starts to respond before the characters do. I’m not sure which part I enjoy the most, his repetition of all the sounds or his responses, but my gosh - it couldn’t be cuter. And that’s a good thing because if you sat here with me, the way he watches his movie just might give you an eye twitch.
There has been so little in his life that he can control that once he gets his movie, he takes full control over its operation. From turning it all the way up and protesting when it gets turned down...to constant repetition of certain parts of movies, to replaying over and over the same episode. Perfect example, I thought “Taio” was a movie not a series, he only watches the episode with Bong-Bong. And I am really, really trying hard to not dislike, potentially start to hate Bong-Bong.
My favorites are still “The Wiggles” new ones, old ones, it doesn’t matter, Bradley goes back to them and when he does, he loves to mimic their dance moves. His anticipation of them and his copying is funny and sweet. His attention to the details is encouraging too. I love to see how his brain is trying to work through the processes and how his mind is preparing for what comes next. Often, I know that he is getting more feedback from the listening than the watching because his preferred method of watching is by lining up his Magna-tiles to watch through them, or his legos...and he can’t see through those. But he still will interact with the sounds from the movie, anticipating and copying what he hears. We have yet to figure out why he does any of this, nor have we figured out why he has a need to toss blocks and tiles. He doesn’t just set them down if he doesn’t want them; rather, he feels like they have to be flung far and wide or they aren’t disposed of properly.
Some days are just frustrating, so it’s imperative that we see the thought process trying to reason out details and plans coming from his brain (even the bad plans) so that we feel a wee bit better about the frustration that he feels and that we feel as his stubborn streak butts heads with our requirements for clean up and listening. But he keeps working on these and we keep working with him - that one of us is incredibly loud in his protests can be difficult, but we keep pushing through anyhow.
Speaking of loud and clean up... now is the time for clean up and protest, so off I go to Supervise, push, prod, and make the little demon child follow through on clean up. Probably best that he isn’t completely verbal at this point, not sure I want to understand the words he is theoretically throwing my way right now. Sigh....
Until tomorrow!
From the music, to the exclamations, to the words...he is trying to repeat it all. And then he starts to respond before the characters do. I’m not sure which part I enjoy the most, his repetition of all the sounds or his responses, but my gosh - it couldn’t be cuter. And that’s a good thing because if you sat here with me, the way he watches his movie just might give you an eye twitch.
There has been so little in his life that he can control that once he gets his movie, he takes full control over its operation. From turning it all the way up and protesting when it gets turned down...to constant repetition of certain parts of movies, to replaying over and over the same episode. Perfect example, I thought “Taio” was a movie not a series, he only watches the episode with Bong-Bong. And I am really, really trying hard to not dislike, potentially start to hate Bong-Bong.
My favorites are still “The Wiggles” new ones, old ones, it doesn’t matter, Bradley goes back to them and when he does, he loves to mimic their dance moves. His anticipation of them and his copying is funny and sweet. His attention to the details is encouraging too. I love to see how his brain is trying to work through the processes and how his mind is preparing for what comes next. Often, I know that he is getting more feedback from the listening than the watching because his preferred method of watching is by lining up his Magna-tiles to watch through them, or his legos...and he can’t see through those. But he still will interact with the sounds from the movie, anticipating and copying what he hears. We have yet to figure out why he does any of this, nor have we figured out why he has a need to toss blocks and tiles. He doesn’t just set them down if he doesn’t want them; rather, he feels like they have to be flung far and wide or they aren’t disposed of properly.
Some days are just frustrating, so it’s imperative that we see the thought process trying to reason out details and plans coming from his brain (even the bad plans) so that we feel a wee bit better about the frustration that he feels and that we feel as his stubborn streak butts heads with our requirements for clean up and listening. But he keeps working on these and we keep working with him - that one of us is incredibly loud in his protests can be difficult, but we keep pushing through anyhow.
Speaking of loud and clean up... now is the time for clean up and protest, so off I go to Supervise, push, prod, and make the little demon child follow through on clean up. Probably best that he isn’t completely verbal at this point, not sure I want to understand the words he is theoretically throwing my way right now. Sigh....
Until tomorrow!
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