What would I say?

I'm posting a link today...a video that the International Down Syndrome Coalition posted for World Down Syndrome Day on March 21, 2012.  The one from this year was also very good, but this is the one that touched me the most, touched a chord in my heart that resonates beyond the video on the screen.  There are several reasons, and each time I see the video I am struck by something else in it that seems was designated to be for me.  At first it was simply the topic...If you could go back in time what would you tell yourself about your child.  To this day I am not completely certain that I could narrow down my long-winded  thoughts into a small enough saying to put on a poster board that someone could read in five seconds...but that's just a flaw in my abilities.  I think I might say something like the cover on our Bradley's Buddy Brigade Facebook page, but paraphrased: "I don't promise easy, I promise it's worth it"...because it is both; often at the same time.  

Then there was the song in the video.  I've mentioned somewhere in this blogging journey before that I sing to my kids.  I sang the lullaby from "Dumbo" to both my girls and I started to sing it to Bradley as well, but when he was born I was compelled to a different song, one that popped out without my clear conscience choice to sing it to him.  It's Phil Collins song: "You'll Be in My Heart" from "Tarzan":

I will protect you form all around you,

I will be here don't you cry

Cause you'll be in my heart...  

This video used that song.  And it spoke to my heart.  It resonates there still, and at three years old he still hears this from me from time to time.  

And then I saw the sayings and they comforted me for they were things I knew, things I wish I had known.  Words even that comforted me for the grief I felt in letting go of one dream in my journey to another and I felt they were forgiving me for ever grieving.  So it was cathartic.  Cleansing.  Renewing.  Living.  

I even picked up a new phrase that I could carry everywhere and use with great joy: "Normal is a cycle on a washing machine."  Because who wants to be a cycle on a washing machine anyway, we all want to be who we are and who we are meant to be...and deep down all we truly need is to accept and feel at peace with who we are.  If we are truly Blessed, others will offer the same acceptance and even a little love as well.  That is the most precious gift after all - no matter how many chromosomes you have.  

Today the Coalition replayed the video and though I love that they replay it, sometimes I feel the need to see it and I take forever to find it and I decided "enough!"  I'd put it here and then have it easier to find; because, true to form something new popped out at me this time.  You see there was this other phrase in there that I really liked and always remember:  "He will be the easiest of your three."  I have a He and he is one of three, so it doesn't take a scientist to see that connection.  But today I noticed this: the picture was not cropped to hide the date - Jan 9, 2012.  My son's second birthday, the day we brought him home from a ten day stay at the hospital after hiatal hernia surgery and essentially the unravel and then rewrap of the fundoplication that had saved his life.  Intense time, intense day, intense memories...  A message to me through another mom who had no idea how strongly she would touch my life and senses.  Is he the easiest of the three?  He was, he was so sweet, so quiet as a tiny baby.  Even at his worst moments, he found comfort in our arms and his ability to snuggle and say 'I love you' through his eyes was enough to calm us all.  But right now?  No.  But Bradley will get stronger and he will get healthier.  He learns a new sign every couple days, sometimes multiple and then every once in awhile he'll throw a new sign out to tell us what he wants or needs, and that helps amazingly in our ability to talk things out.  I don't actually weep at each new sign he learns, but I recognize the burning behind my eyes and I understand it is there because he and I are one sign closer to understanding each other.  A precious gift indeed, is that.  So someday, he just might become the easiest of the three again; need I remind you I have two little girls with one dangerously close to being a teen.  (shudder)!  ;-)  

So I've added the link to the video, I hope that you will take a moment to watch it, to enjoy it.  As I recently wrote to a new mom of a sweet boy with Down syndrome: 

Doubts, fears, and what ifs creep in sometimes but it is what it is. Some choose to be negative; some choose to see the good side. It's never all roses but if you keep your heart in it it's easier to miss the thorns. And when a thorn gets you, the love and support from the positive side helps to heal. I hope you find your way and all the potential joy.

We are finding our way with Bradley and that quest for joy is daily.  The finding of joy?  That happens daily too.  Even in the hospitals, Bradley always learns to do something new - a testament to the world that he will conquer someday.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVxz71ygHbk