Day 11 if the "31 for 21: Challenge!"
The whole time I was pregnant with Bradley I was worried about going into labor and delivering the baby on the Yoko/Yoko...the Toll Road between Yokohama and Yokosuka. When I learned the baby was a boy I was a little more agitated because I couldn't fathom naming my son "Yoko" but I could entertain the whimsical humor if the baby were a girl, we could have called her "Yoko" - I know some really great Yoko's. I never said I was logical when I was pregnant, I think that's my least logical time. But I will say that I was usually pretty quiet about all of it...I mean I knew I was crazy, so why advertise! :-)
When I was diagnosed with Melanoma, I was so shocked I couldn't even take it in. Life moved into the one step at a time mode...and we really haven't ever moved out of it. At 34 weeks, I went into surgery. I felt better about 34 weeks, at 34 weeks if the baby came they would still pump up his lungs, but he probably wouldn't have to go to the NICU, which meant a flight to Okinawa and a stay there. That would mean a long time away from the kids and we weren't sure how Eric could swing that kind of complication with two girls at home and a mom and baby an Island away. I never asked what would have happened if he had come then, and when they knew he had Down syndrome would that have made a difference? The diagnosis might not have, but the size could have been telling. Bradley was a good 7 lbs 2 oz, at birth...the smallest baby I delivered, the exact opposite of what I expected. I was the biggest!
I was awake for the procedure which was not fun, but humorous looking back. The surgical crew made it obvious they weren't used to the patient being awake and one particularly gruesome accounting of a post surgical room had my surgeon stopping in mid-procedure to silence them. Covered in blue sheets, I got the lifting of a sheet and a heartfelt apology. Though to be quite honest, the next discussion about lunch was much worse for a pregnant lady who hadn't ate in over fourteen hours. Another apology later, they started helping me come up with baby names. :-) Much safer topic by far!
Two days before Christmas, we got the good news that the Melanoma had spread to the margins but not past them and so we could wait till after the baby came to go in and widen the margins a little more for safety's sake. We made the long trip back and that night I started contracting in earnest for a few hours. Luckily, he changed his mind about coming because the trip down and back had worn me out and Christmas was only two days away, we had traditions to uphold for the girls. :-)
I was checked at 36 weeks, everything looked good and I went back at 37 weeks...and then my fluid levels had dropped from 12 to 8. They asked me to come back on the Friday three days later...we took my bag because we always did, just in case and we had the girls, just in case. I remember walking home from the girls dance class the night before and looking around wondering if it were going to snow, and wondering if I would be holding a baby on the next day. On Facebook, I let the family back home and our friends know that I was apparently a quart low and headed back down in the morning to check the oil.
I didn't tell Eric I was contracting on the way down. They weren't below six minutes, so I was trying not to worry, but he was my third and I was having those moments of sheer panic as I pictured us on the side of the road giving birth. Two little girls peeking over the seat in horror, Japanese motorists stuck in the same traffic as us...filming with their cell phones, some Japanese policeman scratching his head saying "so, so, so...no, you no do that here!" HAH!!! Stay right there dude, you're my focal point as I breathe and scream at you!
But none of that happened...the contractions continued, but they would need help and hours to get productive enough to bring Bradley. In the interim, an anesthesiologist gave me an epidural as best he could (the Melanoma of course, had to be dead center of the back, right where the epidural should go...hadn't planned for that at all!) and it deadened the right side of my body and not the left. Talk about surreal...I am not sure which was truly worst, the pain (and a lot of it) on the left side...or the dead nothing on the right. Same guy taught us how to use the pain medicine drip....only he didn't know how it worked. "Hold the button till it beeps!" Um, no doc, you hold the button till it beeps and the whole system locks you out...sigh....
Last year in the Challenge, I talked about our Midwife. Not to bore you now, just know, she was amazing! She was life saving and life giving...Because she and our crew were so amazing, I am going to repost their story from last year. Being so tech unsavvy...theirs was a private story I guess. They saw it because I posted it to Bradley's Facebook page, but maybe everyone should know about them. Heroes are the ones that take the time to change someone's fate, to lift someone from the brink onto the safest of shores. They don't always carry guns, they don't always wield scalpels, sometimes, they just decide to be there and be the rock that sees you through. They pull you through the fire to the other side, the best ones even help put out the flames on your coat. That was our crew! We were Blessed to be given Bradley, and each one of them helped us on our path to seeing that, and believing that. October is Down syndrome Awareness month, and we hope to take Awareness to Acceptance...they were our first teachers, and they are the ones that make us know that this is possible. They loved Bradley in his first moments, at his most vulnerable. I know that others can and will accept him too, all because a few people took the time and walked farther than they had too in order to take care of our little family.
So I didn't deliver him on the highway, but it was in the same hospital where I had delivered Madison. Considering the greatest number of years is between those two, I am thrilled that they have this extra special bond between them. That was not planned, but it is a nice perk now.
We fumble on our way, but not just with Bradley...we fumble on our way to being better parents to all three of these kids. It's the job we signed on for, to be their parents. It is the greatest gift, the greatest honor, and the greatest challenge. Frustration and Joy, all mixed into one house with three incredible kids. Special kids choose the most malleable parents, and then mold them into being what they need. And if anyone ever tells my kids the truth of this I will disown you because that will shift the balance of power in my house forever and Eric and I are toast! ;-) Have a great Friday!
PS... I am thinking of a special little baby that is coming into the world today. May God Bless you with all the Joy and Love that your incredible heart and spirit can hold. May God Bless this family as your journey together begins. May you know that there are those that will walk with you when you need a friend, and carry you when you are overwhelmed. Congratulations and much joy to you today and always - welcome to the most amazing (though sometimes hard, really hard) journey of your life. Art Williams says it best: "I'm not telling you it's going to be easy - I'm telling you it's going to be worth it." Thinking of you!
Friday, October 11, 2013
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Battling Murray!
Welcome to a very close to Fall day. I say close because there some warm elements today, but overall it felt like Fall! Hurray!
We finally even heard back from the peds GI Bradley has in Santa Barbara. I had called Monday because Bradley has been off lately. Not sleeping all night, not excited by his food, a whole lot more air in his tummy than usual. Well, for the first time ever, here three days later still no call. Considering we had yet another retching episode where the venting didn't work very well or very fast - this solidified my belief that something was burning and Bradley doesn't want to swallow because it hurts. So I called again, and then I waited....all day.
To pass the time, we made a ghost and Bradley played with his Murray Wiggle doll. The one that speaks and sings, and is ever patient as my son bounces him off every wall, box, bookshelf, etc. I like to think of the Murray doll as very Woody-like from Toy Story, just really happy to be played with and with a hard head. Anyway, by mid-morning it was time to get Bradley down for his nap. If I waited any longer his nap would have been two minutes before getting him up to get the girls from school. For some reason, the schools let them go at 1:10 every Thursday, makes for a rough nap schedule for Bradley.
So off we go to his room where we rock a bit. Bradley CAN put himself to sleep, but his method is to lay down, sit up, be told to lay down, comply, then sit back up and so on and so forth. It is more time consuming than one would think. Do I have to teach him this? Yes, yes I do. But not today. Right now, naps are rocked to sleep - it's good for both of us. He actually naps and I need the happy boy I get when he does nap. At night, well...time is still of the essence to some extent. Getting the girls settled and giving up ninety minutes is a little rough right now. We do it, we just aren't doing it right now when it churns his belly up. We are getting up a couple times each night every few nights as it is...so we don't want to push that burning esophagus any further than we have to.
So, I said off to his room to rock a bit we went, but I failed to mention that Murray went with us. No big deal, he bounced on Bradley's belly and chest a bit then lay down against Bradley's chest as my little guy drifted to sleep, still clutching the red man. (Murray, is the red Wiggle in case you didn't know). I feel my son drift into a deeper sleep and he still clenches Murray, so I make my move. We move to the bed; Bradley, Murray and I, and I lay them both down...only Bradley decides to drop Murray and he responds by singing! Ahhhh!!! Red Alert!!!!!!!!! Mission Abort!!! Mission Abort!!!!!!! Murray gets grabbed and literally tossed into the other room, cause once he starts singing there's no stopping him. I turn back to Bradley and he of course is sitting up and staring at me like I've lost my mind. And he's barely awake so I think he was either wondering why I was throwing Murray out of his room, or just, where is Murray? Not sure which.
Regardless, he protests as I just scoop him up, grab his blanket and head back to the chair, this time with the milk cup instead of the Murray doll. Bradley offered a mild protest, took note of the milk, drank seven ounces of that and dropped off to sleep, dropping the cup as he fell asleep. Not that I think the cup was going to sing or anything, but considering my run of luck - I pictured a milk flood if the cup bounced off his bed. Milk cup transferred to safety, Bradley transferred to his bed without incident, and Yuna the Wonder cat transferred from the changing table to the hallway - can never be too careful, she likes to make the doors bounce when she wants out of a room she's locked in.
In the end, Bradley slept for almost two hours before I had to get him up to go get the girls. And the doctor? Yeah, he called too...while I was getting the girls. But, that's all right. They are starting Bradley on a new med, three times a day to see if we can't gain control of the burning and smooth out his throat. If this works there should be less air, less retching, less chance of unsewing that Fundoplication wrap...and that would be so much more than ideal. His first dose went down smooth, lucky us; it smells like bubblegum, so Bradley didn't fight the dose! May every dose be so lucky! :-)
Welcome to Day 10 of the "31 for 21" I was going to add Challenge...but I think today offered enough of it's own bizarre challenges without me encouraging anymore.
Have a great night folks! Spread Awareness and through Awareness we can learn Acceptance and Acceptance leads to Inclusion and everyone will have a better life! Wear your blue and yellow colors and tell people why...or settle for Crazy socks, those work well too!!! :-)
To pass the time, we made a ghost and Bradley played with his Murray Wiggle doll. The one that speaks and sings, and is ever patient as my son bounces him off every wall, box, bookshelf, etc. I like to think of the Murray doll as very Woody-like from Toy Story, just really happy to be played with and with a hard head. Anyway, by mid-morning it was time to get Bradley down for his nap. If I waited any longer his nap would have been two minutes before getting him up to get the girls from school. For some reason, the schools let them go at 1:10 every Thursday, makes for a rough nap schedule for Bradley.
So off we go to his room where we rock a bit. Bradley CAN put himself to sleep, but his method is to lay down, sit up, be told to lay down, comply, then sit back up and so on and so forth. It is more time consuming than one would think. Do I have to teach him this? Yes, yes I do. But not today. Right now, naps are rocked to sleep - it's good for both of us. He actually naps and I need the happy boy I get when he does nap. At night, well...time is still of the essence to some extent. Getting the girls settled and giving up ninety minutes is a little rough right now. We do it, we just aren't doing it right now when it churns his belly up. We are getting up a couple times each night every few nights as it is...so we don't want to push that burning esophagus any further than we have to.
So, I said off to his room to rock a bit we went, but I failed to mention that Murray went with us. No big deal, he bounced on Bradley's belly and chest a bit then lay down against Bradley's chest as my little guy drifted to sleep, still clutching the red man. (Murray, is the red Wiggle in case you didn't know). I feel my son drift into a deeper sleep and he still clenches Murray, so I make my move. We move to the bed; Bradley, Murray and I, and I lay them both down...only Bradley decides to drop Murray and he responds by singing! Ahhhh!!! Red Alert!!!!!!!!! Mission Abort!!! Mission Abort!!!!!!! Murray gets grabbed and literally tossed into the other room, cause once he starts singing there's no stopping him. I turn back to Bradley and he of course is sitting up and staring at me like I've lost my mind. And he's barely awake so I think he was either wondering why I was throwing Murray out of his room, or just, where is Murray? Not sure which.
Regardless, he protests as I just scoop him up, grab his blanket and head back to the chair, this time with the milk cup instead of the Murray doll. Bradley offered a mild protest, took note of the milk, drank seven ounces of that and dropped off to sleep, dropping the cup as he fell asleep. Not that I think the cup was going to sing or anything, but considering my run of luck - I pictured a milk flood if the cup bounced off his bed. Milk cup transferred to safety, Bradley transferred to his bed without incident, and Yuna the Wonder cat transferred from the changing table to the hallway - can never be too careful, she likes to make the doors bounce when she wants out of a room she's locked in.
In the end, Bradley slept for almost two hours before I had to get him up to go get the girls. And the doctor? Yeah, he called too...while I was getting the girls. But, that's all right. They are starting Bradley on a new med, three times a day to see if we can't gain control of the burning and smooth out his throat. If this works there should be less air, less retching, less chance of unsewing that Fundoplication wrap...and that would be so much more than ideal. His first dose went down smooth, lucky us; it smells like bubblegum, so Bradley didn't fight the dose! May every dose be so lucky! :-)
Welcome to Day 10 of the "31 for 21" I was going to add Challenge...but I think today offered enough of it's own bizarre challenges without me encouraging anymore.
Have a great night folks! Spread Awareness and through Awareness we can learn Acceptance and Acceptance leads to Inclusion and everyone will have a better life! Wear your blue and yellow colors and tell people why...or settle for Crazy socks, those work well too!!! :-)
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
From Then to Now
I wanted to repost the "Who I Am" blog during the "31 for 21: Challenge" so you could see where Bradley has been and where he is now. In the last seven months we've had some rough spots and a whole bunch of good... Together, they all make Bradley into who he is, with a glimpse of who he will become.
For example, I believe that my son is going to be a computer hacker when he grows up. How do I know this? Our computer used to reside in the living room, now it's home is in my bedroom. It started with Bradley climbing up on the desk and touching the monitor. No matter how many times I pulled him down he climbed back up, apparently, that's the job he applied for. This led to the turning of the computer screen 180 degrees. A feat I didn't know how to do let alone how to fix. After that, he felt the need to get physical with it and he decided turning the screen wasn't good enough, he wanted more - so he turned the whole monitor upside down, oh and sat on the keyboard. ;-). We moved the whole setup that night when Eric got home from work.
So while he's hacking computers, he's going to using his patience and his determination. He now can maneuver his way through most of what his IPAD has to offer. He can turn it on, almost wait patiently for it to fire up, then find his favorite games and puzzles, he can find Sofia the First, Mickey Mouse, even Monster's Inc. And he is exhibiting the ability to stay at one place longer now. He doesn't flip his fingers so fast that he can't stay in one place for longer than ten seconds. Now he can watch a whole show, he can finish a whole book, complete a series on the apps...so he's trying. Back then it was exciting that he could start touching the screen in response...now he is touching the screen to make the app do what he wants. The duck that cracks him up in the book Nighty-Night, he can put it through its paces, all three of them...he waits for them before touching the screen again. Same with the chicken and those fish. The rabbit and the pony, they go straight to sleep...but everyone has favorites.
He will continue to love music and dance. His sister introduced him to the trumpet. He copied her lips and even made sound through it, already better than his mom and his dad. There are musical instruments in his near future. On the IPAD, he tries to match the music in the piano apps, that's a great start! We can't forget dancing either. Turns out Bradley has a shadow that likes to dance with him. They start with hula-like moves first both arms to the left and then both to the right (or vice versa), then their hands go up and down on each side. It's pretty cute! And it's important because he is still dancing and now he wants to make music! Exciting!
He has spontaneous speech now. Almost 30 Spontaneous words. I couldn't be more thrilled! Double that and maybe a little more and you have closer to what he's doing with his hands. My son has a lot to say and he is saying it now. So someday, he will be a great communicator. Perhaps he will be the mediator between his two fighting sisters, now wouldn't that be nice? :-) For now, he still uses sign for milk and makes no attempt to say it. However, when he wants it, he walks to you, climbs into your lap or if you are close to his level (like Sydney) he puts his little fist in your face to sign milk. Sydney, he puts his fist on her nose and Eric, he puts his fist against his cheek...why does he do this you ask? Can't say, don't know...but every time it makes me laugh...and he gets his message across.
His feeds are progressing as well. I have a cracker boy now. He's moved from mush to crunch. It's nowhere near perfect, but he's trying to eat, he's trying to get his calories from real food and not just Pediasure. Considering I smell like Vanilla Pediasure, this can't happen soon enough for me. Anyway, cheese? Oh yeah, he is a cheese fiend...and peaches...give the boy peaches and he will smile at you the whole time. So yeah, we're getting there!
He's not the most social guy, unless you really get him used to him, but there are a whole bunch of people that thought that he would benefit from a Service Dog to help through all his medical stuff, all his behavior stuff, and all the social development he's been missing, and all that other stuff that makes up the Bradley patchwork. So sometime this month, a sweet dog named Molly is going to be impregnated and one of her beautiful Golden Retriever puppies will be Bradley's new fur brother or sister. Everything takes time, but we'll be ready whenever he or she is ready to take his or her place in our family as Bradley's Buddy.
Bradley gets stronger each day, but then the weather changes and the coughing starts, and the winds pick up and the congestion begins...and we have to wait it out. He's having some issues with his esophagus, he's been retching on us and his venting hasn't been relieving like usual...so it's just something else we have to work through on the process of Bradley's path. But hey, today I picked up a pair of socks and before I could say a word he not only signed it, he said it, and then he picked up his foot. And there was great rejoicing in the Kingdom!
For example, I believe that my son is going to be a computer hacker when he grows up. How do I know this? Our computer used to reside in the living room, now it's home is in my bedroom. It started with Bradley climbing up on the desk and touching the monitor. No matter how many times I pulled him down he climbed back up, apparently, that's the job he applied for. This led to the turning of the computer screen 180 degrees. A feat I didn't know how to do let alone how to fix. After that, he felt the need to get physical with it and he decided turning the screen wasn't good enough, he wanted more - so he turned the whole monitor upside down, oh and sat on the keyboard. ;-). We moved the whole setup that night when Eric got home from work.
So while he's hacking computers, he's going to using his patience and his determination. He now can maneuver his way through most of what his IPAD has to offer. He can turn it on, almost wait patiently for it to fire up, then find his favorite games and puzzles, he can find Sofia the First, Mickey Mouse, even Monster's Inc. And he is exhibiting the ability to stay at one place longer now. He doesn't flip his fingers so fast that he can't stay in one place for longer than ten seconds. Now he can watch a whole show, he can finish a whole book, complete a series on the apps...so he's trying. Back then it was exciting that he could start touching the screen in response...now he is touching the screen to make the app do what he wants. The duck that cracks him up in the book Nighty-Night, he can put it through its paces, all three of them...he waits for them before touching the screen again. Same with the chicken and those fish. The rabbit and the pony, they go straight to sleep...but everyone has favorites.
He will continue to love music and dance. His sister introduced him to the trumpet. He copied her lips and even made sound through it, already better than his mom and his dad. There are musical instruments in his near future. On the IPAD, he tries to match the music in the piano apps, that's a great start! We can't forget dancing either. Turns out Bradley has a shadow that likes to dance with him. They start with hula-like moves first both arms to the left and then both to the right (or vice versa), then their hands go up and down on each side. It's pretty cute! And it's important because he is still dancing and now he wants to make music! Exciting!
He has spontaneous speech now. Almost 30 Spontaneous words. I couldn't be more thrilled! Double that and maybe a little more and you have closer to what he's doing with his hands. My son has a lot to say and he is saying it now. So someday, he will be a great communicator. Perhaps he will be the mediator between his two fighting sisters, now wouldn't that be nice? :-) For now, he still uses sign for milk and makes no attempt to say it. However, when he wants it, he walks to you, climbs into your lap or if you are close to his level (like Sydney) he puts his little fist in your face to sign milk. Sydney, he puts his fist on her nose and Eric, he puts his fist against his cheek...why does he do this you ask? Can't say, don't know...but every time it makes me laugh...and he gets his message across.
His feeds are progressing as well. I have a cracker boy now. He's moved from mush to crunch. It's nowhere near perfect, but he's trying to eat, he's trying to get his calories from real food and not just Pediasure. Considering I smell like Vanilla Pediasure, this can't happen soon enough for me. Anyway, cheese? Oh yeah, he is a cheese fiend...and peaches...give the boy peaches and he will smile at you the whole time. So yeah, we're getting there!
He's not the most social guy, unless you really get him used to him, but there are a whole bunch of people that thought that he would benefit from a Service Dog to help through all his medical stuff, all his behavior stuff, and all the social development he's been missing, and all that other stuff that makes up the Bradley patchwork. So sometime this month, a sweet dog named Molly is going to be impregnated and one of her beautiful Golden Retriever puppies will be Bradley's new fur brother or sister. Everything takes time, but we'll be ready whenever he or she is ready to take his or her place in our family as Bradley's Buddy.
Bradley gets stronger each day, but then the weather changes and the coughing starts, and the winds pick up and the congestion begins...and we have to wait it out. He's having some issues with his esophagus, he's been retching on us and his venting hasn't been relieving like usual...so it's just something else we have to work through on the process of Bradley's path. But hey, today I picked up a pair of socks and before I could say a word he not only signed it, he said it, and then he picked up his foot. And there was great rejoicing in the Kingdom!
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Who I Am - Again
March 21st is World Down Syndrome Day. We Celebrate that date specifically to honor the 3 Copies of the 21st Chromosome. Last March, the International Down Syndrome Coalition put out a request for bloggers to to write about someone they love with Down syndrome. I of course chose to take part, turns out I usually have a little too much to say. Anyway, I figured I'd be too long winded, but had warmed to the topic and submitted it anyway. I was honored to have my blog featured on their Facebook page during the Month of March to honor our loved ones with Down syndrome. Knowing that my little boy's voice was going to be heard on a positive stage was awe-inspiring! A lot has happened since March, so I thought today I would give you the blog that I wrote then because it helps to spread the idea of Awareness and Acceptance and that's all we truly want for Bradley. I also know that some of you are new to the blog, possibly even a first timer today...possibly just now checking in because of the "31 For 21: Challenge" (welcome, and thanks for stopping by), so I thought it would be a good time to reprint "Who I Am" and let you gain some insight into Bradley. I wrote this new introduction for today, and am leaving the remainder as it was in March, I hope you enjoy and I hope that through it, you can see the honor that I have to be Bradley's mom, and the amount of love that I carry in my heart and soul for my son. Tomorrow, I will still talk about Bradley, I will continue "Who I Am" but it will be Part 2, the part that spans the last eight months of who he is becoming. :-)
Repost below:
Repost below:
International Down Syndrome Coalition- IDSC:
Write a blog post about the person you love, using the "Who I Am" theme.
Write a blog post about the person you love, using the "Who I Am" theme.
It's another challenge...and I am all about the challenges! ;-) I mean my life doesn't offer enough so I should definitely be on the lookout for more. Oh well, look at that - the Challenge was to incorporate "Who I Am" into my blog..and I did - so done!
Well not so fast. We all know I am much more long winded than that, so there has to be more...there's always more. I am actually supposed to Blog about someone I love with Down syndrome, that should be easy enough right...only, how do you put into words who my Bradley is, are there enough words? I guess we'll just have to make sure there are.
I Am a Mom to three great kids, three amazing kids. And though I could blather on about each of them forever, today it's about just one of them. Today, it's about Bradley. Though the girls don't say it often, there are times when it slips out that they think it's always about Bradley. But then they quickly say, he's the baby and he's been sick. They don't throw out there that he has Down syndrome too, because it isn't about the diagnosis: it's about the time away from home at hospitals, the extra effort to feed, bathe and care for him, it's about the delayed tuck-ins because we're still trying to get Bradley down while the girls are trying to stay awake to get that last tuck and kiss. He takes a lot of work, he requires a lot of compromises - Daddy kisses and tucks tonight while they're awake, and Mommy kisses and tucks after they are asleep and tomorrow night we switch, and so on and so on. And it works.
And it works... Bradley has the ability to hold Chaos in one hand and Calm in the other; when he puts his hands together it's a maelstrom of activity - the Hurricane and the Eye...one shoe down, the other waiting to drop. That's who he is. He isn't a diagnosis, he's a force of nature. Who is Bradley?
He is the baby that falls asleep in my arms, his cheeks flushed rosy in the warmth that happens between the two of us and the love that beats from his heart to mine.
He is the Daredevil that climbs up and over everything, and I mean everything - from the play yard to the baby gate, to the couch heedless of what might or might not catch him when he falls on the other side.
He is the consoler that reaches out to hold whomever is shedding tears, patting them on the back and laying his head on their shoulder. Comforting by being sad with them.
He is the whisperer. His words come in tiny sounds that make accidental words lost as quickly as they are found, but always heard on the wings of a whisper.
He is the communicator. With his tiny fingers and little hands he uses his language to talk to me, and he makes sure that I understand the important points of our life together... milk, eat, cookie, bath, diaper, more of everything. Together he and I have learned over fifty signs, the trick is getting the family to catch up so he has someone else to talk too.
He is the dancer, on his own or in my arms, he dances beside me or he dances with his eyes sparkling as he looks up into mine before he hugs me tight and holds on for the ride.
He is the caretaker. He dances with his baby as he turns in circles. He rocks it back and forth - both front to back and side to side. He lays it down and covers it up for sleeping and if the baby needs it, he sings to it by lying it down in his lap and signing the words to "Itsy, Bitsy, Spider" because that is his favorite.
He is the Charmer. He is the bringer of joy to those who meet him. His smile and adorable self encourage love while his temper reminds us that he is just like any other 3 year old boy Hell bent on giving his mom grey hairs. And the combination makes for a frustrating albeit charming package.
Is that it? Is that enough? No, there's more to Bradley. There's always more. With Bradley it's the way he makes you feel when he smiles at you, the way his big blue eyes capture your heart. He doesn't say much with his mouth but his eyes speak from his soul encouraging you to be more than what you thought you could be, to love like you never thought you could, and to understand not only your place in this world but your place in his.
I've spent my life trying to measure up, trying to live to my potential and always wondering where I land on that yard stick. Who is Bradley? He is the motivator, the push in my life to work harder and learn more to find every means to encourage and guide all three of my children to be who and what they are meant to be in this world. Perhaps none of them will discover the cure for cancer or how to implement world peace, but honestly, I don't have those answers either. But if I am lucky at all, all three of my children will feel their worth when they look in the mirror and each will always know how much they are loved.
Who is Bradley? He is more than enough, and so much more than we ever believed possible. Considering we're really just getting started...who he will be is going to be one amazing journey!
It's another challenge...and I am all about the challenges! ;-) I mean my life doesn't offer enough so I should definitely be on the lookout for more. Oh well, look at that - the Challenge was to incorporate "Who I Am" into my blog..and I did - so done!
Well not so fast. We all know I am much more long winded than that, so there has to be more...there's always more. I am actually supposed to Blog about someone I love with Down syndrome, that should be easy enough right...only, how do you put into words who my Bradley is, are there enough words? I guess we'll just have to make sure there are.
I Am a Mom to three great kids, three amazing kids. And though I could blather on about each of them forever, today it's about just one of them. Today, it's about Bradley. Though the girls don't say it often, there are times when it slips out that they think it's always about Bradley. But then they quickly say, he's the baby and he's been sick. They don't throw out there that he has Down syndrome too, because it isn't about the diagnosis: it's about the time away from home at hospitals, the extra effort to feed, bathe and care for him, it's about the delayed tuck-ins because we're still trying to get Bradley down while the girls are trying to stay awake to get that last tuck and kiss. He takes a lot of work, he requires a lot of compromises - Daddy kisses and tucks tonight while they're awake, and Mommy kisses and tucks after they are asleep and tomorrow night we switch, and so on and so on. And it works.
And it works... Bradley has the ability to hold Chaos in one hand and Calm in the other; when he puts his hands together it's a maelstrom of activity - the Hurricane and the Eye...one shoe down, the other waiting to drop. That's who he is. He isn't a diagnosis, he's a force of nature. Who is Bradley?
He is the baby that falls asleep in my arms, his cheeks flushed rosy in the warmth that happens between the two of us and the love that beats from his heart to mine.
He is the Daredevil that climbs up and over everything, and I mean everything - from the play yard to the baby gate, to the couch heedless of what might or might not catch him when he falls on the other side.
He is the consoler that reaches out to hold whomever is shedding tears, patting them on the back and laying his head on their shoulder. Comforting by being sad with them.
He is the whisperer. His words come in tiny sounds that make accidental words lost as quickly as they are found, but always heard on the wings of a whisper.
He is the communicator. With his tiny fingers and little hands he uses his language to talk to me, and he makes sure that I understand the important points of our life together... milk, eat, cookie, bath, diaper, more of everything. Together he and I have learned over fifty signs, the trick is getting the family to catch up so he has someone else to talk too.
He is the dancer, on his own or in my arms, he dances beside me or he dances with his eyes sparkling as he looks up into mine before he hugs me tight and holds on for the ride.
He is the caretaker. He dances with his baby as he turns in circles. He rocks it back and forth - both front to back and side to side. He lays it down and covers it up for sleeping and if the baby needs it, he sings to it by lying it down in his lap and signing the words to "Itsy, Bitsy, Spider" because that is his favorite.
He is the Charmer. He is the bringer of joy to those who meet him. His smile and adorable self encourage love while his temper reminds us that he is just like any other 3 year old boy Hell bent on giving his mom grey hairs. And the combination makes for a frustrating albeit charming package.
Is that it? Is that enough? No, there's more to Bradley. There's always more. With Bradley it's the way he makes you feel when he smiles at you, the way his big blue eyes capture your heart. He doesn't say much with his mouth but his eyes speak from his soul encouraging you to be more than what you thought you could be, to love like you never thought you could, and to understand not only your place in this world but your place in his.
I've spent my life trying to measure up, trying to live to my potential and always wondering where I land on that yard stick. Who is Bradley? He is the motivator, the push in my life to work harder and learn more to find every means to encourage and guide all three of my children to be who and what they are meant to be in this world. Perhaps none of them will discover the cure for cancer or how to implement world peace, but honestly, I don't have those answers either. But if I am lucky at all, all three of my children will feel their worth when they look in the mirror and each will always know how much they are loved.
Who is Bradley? He is more than enough, and so much more than we ever believed possible. Considering we're really just getting started...who he will be is going to be one amazing journey!
Monday, October 7, 2013
Mondays are so Harsh!
So this is never going to go down easy. Kind of like me trying to take a shot of Bourbon without snorting half of it through my nose...well, let's be honest...I am a lame drinker, a shot of anything is the result of a burn that makes me splutter and look ridiculous in the process. So there are no shots in my life, I have three children, one under the age of three that I often entertain - if I'm gong to look ridiculous I'm going to do it with two plastic balls as I attempt to juggle and make Bradley laugh. More often than not we both end up laughing from our bellies and then fall over in glee when he first tries to juggle himself and then tries to toss a third, fourth, fifth and so on, number of balls up into the mix of my two. Chaos!
But that's a whole other idea than where I was headed with this. Bradley will turn 4 in January. That means that in December we will go to the school and meet will all his therapists, his teacher and the school psychologist and we will discuss all that he does not know and all he does not do in order to set up his educational plan for the next year. These are mind numbing and despair dredging days for me, I hate these moments as relative strangers tell us what our son cannot do and how he is no more than 15 to 18 months old developmentally. That's what he was last year, mostly because he is non-verbal. I know he is still non-verbal this year, but he truly has come so far in the last year. His eating is improving, perhaps it's no where near perfection, but it's a work in progress that is honestly progressing. And perhaps he isn't having long conversations with me, but I remind you, he's 3. And his speech is progressing too. His amazing little fingers tell me more and more everyday and a little more often than has been the norm, we get repeated words and spontaneous words. So he's trying. Why, just in the last week, he is recognizing his shapes and doing it in all manner of formats. It's not like I gave him one option to practice his shapes and he can't do it anywhere else. And while we're bragging here...we're kicking butt with colors and fine motor manipulations. His comprehension is progressing daily too, he understands: let's go play (something), let's do a puzzle (he'll tell you the one he wants to do most times), let's go eat, let's climb into your chair at the table in the kitchen to eat, or the one in the living room to play, let's go change your pants. Last week, he understood to go pee-pee in the potty, we clapped and I told him go more pee-pee and he did. Then he said Bath, and that got him a bath...and he stood up and went more pee-pee in the bath and started to clap because isn't that the routine. So sure, we aren't completely anywhere, but he's growing and progressing.
So today with his Occupational Therapist, I asked if she was okay with the half an hour every week or if she felt like he would be better served with more. Did he need more to catch up on the things he had missed during the great hunt for an Occupational Therapist that Bradley would not hide from? This goes right back like an arrow in your soul to: careful what you ask for. I didn't ask where he was at...but that's what I got. And it wasn't done in malice, but it's done and now for the next few weeks and days I will walk with this new weight that will constantly repeat her words: About two years old. Seriously, two? After all the hard work, after watching the explosion of his abilities in the last month alone, the sound of his voice, him eating chicken and other soft meats and then tackling and conquering Goldfish...She said he is about 2 developmentally. I know that a lot of this is his lack of endurance and social abilities. We are working on endurance to tasks, but what he'll do for me for a long time, he'll fight with someone else. And he is way social with me and the family...but we just don't count. My little guy powered through and shone in seven therapy sessions last week...seven! He tried hard, he worked hard. The therapists that he knows well and is comfortable with saw amazing things last week...the new ones saw the struggles. But I was so proud of him, I was so proud for him. And now I am sad, and a bit disheartened. But it will pass, it did last year, it will now and in December, after a little time, it will pass then too.
There will always be those that do not see him at his best, those that will not bring out the Gold in him the way others will. The problem is, the ones that bring out the most are not the ones in charge of his case, in charge of his future in academics. That's just the way it is. There will always be this mom that takes what he gives me, then pushes me as I push him for more...and when I learn how behind we are - I feel guilty, because I have let him down. I didn't know that at 3 in pre-school the kids are cutting with scissors and gluing with glue sticks...not well, but doing it. I didn't realize that...last week he failed at this completely and it's on me, cause I didn't realize we were supposed to be doing this already.
So, right now he is "coloring" with Sydney and tomorrow we are going to try again to see if he can actually cut something with his scissors. Then for the rest of the month, I'm printing out Pumpkins and we're practicing with a glue stick to put shapes on them to make "Jack o' Lanterns" because I just don't know what else to do and I have to help him catch up. He will have enough challenges in life without me not preparing him for the ones I am supposed to.
Do I think that by December he'll suddenly jump up in development to be closer to a three, or three and a half year old. No. But at least he and I can work on this stuff together and hope we catch the other stuff as it comes. Sigh!
I didn't expect four, but I sure wasn't ready for two. Try again tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow! Never quit trying and he'll just keep learning and growing. Down the road, two will become three, which will become four and so on, and Bradley will just keep gently reminding me to breathe through this stuff - he'll get there, just on his own timeline, not theirs. I will continue to be proud of him, and proud for him - because I see the Gold in him and I get to see the shining moments he won't show anyone else. And if it gets to me too much, his Dad is always there beside me reminding me: "He's our Bradley, he's awesome. He'll get there in his own time."
Learning and Accepting...why I blog everyday in October for the "31 for 21: Challenge!" Bradley IS awesome, and he will get there! Good night all, have a good Monday night!
But that's a whole other idea than where I was headed with this. Bradley will turn 4 in January. That means that in December we will go to the school and meet will all his therapists, his teacher and the school psychologist and we will discuss all that he does not know and all he does not do in order to set up his educational plan for the next year. These are mind numbing and despair dredging days for me, I hate these moments as relative strangers tell us what our son cannot do and how he is no more than 15 to 18 months old developmentally. That's what he was last year, mostly because he is non-verbal. I know he is still non-verbal this year, but he truly has come so far in the last year. His eating is improving, perhaps it's no where near perfection, but it's a work in progress that is honestly progressing. And perhaps he isn't having long conversations with me, but I remind you, he's 3. And his speech is progressing too. His amazing little fingers tell me more and more everyday and a little more often than has been the norm, we get repeated words and spontaneous words. So he's trying. Why, just in the last week, he is recognizing his shapes and doing it in all manner of formats. It's not like I gave him one option to practice his shapes and he can't do it anywhere else. And while we're bragging here...we're kicking butt with colors and fine motor manipulations. His comprehension is progressing daily too, he understands: let's go play (something), let's do a puzzle (he'll tell you the one he wants to do most times), let's go eat, let's climb into your chair at the table in the kitchen to eat, or the one in the living room to play, let's go change your pants. Last week, he understood to go pee-pee in the potty, we clapped and I told him go more pee-pee and he did. Then he said Bath, and that got him a bath...and he stood up and went more pee-pee in the bath and started to clap because isn't that the routine. So sure, we aren't completely anywhere, but he's growing and progressing.
So today with his Occupational Therapist, I asked if she was okay with the half an hour every week or if she felt like he would be better served with more. Did he need more to catch up on the things he had missed during the great hunt for an Occupational Therapist that Bradley would not hide from? This goes right back like an arrow in your soul to: careful what you ask for. I didn't ask where he was at...but that's what I got. And it wasn't done in malice, but it's done and now for the next few weeks and days I will walk with this new weight that will constantly repeat her words: About two years old. Seriously, two? After all the hard work, after watching the explosion of his abilities in the last month alone, the sound of his voice, him eating chicken and other soft meats and then tackling and conquering Goldfish...She said he is about 2 developmentally. I know that a lot of this is his lack of endurance and social abilities. We are working on endurance to tasks, but what he'll do for me for a long time, he'll fight with someone else. And he is way social with me and the family...but we just don't count. My little guy powered through and shone in seven therapy sessions last week...seven! He tried hard, he worked hard. The therapists that he knows well and is comfortable with saw amazing things last week...the new ones saw the struggles. But I was so proud of him, I was so proud for him. And now I am sad, and a bit disheartened. But it will pass, it did last year, it will now and in December, after a little time, it will pass then too.
There will always be those that do not see him at his best, those that will not bring out the Gold in him the way others will. The problem is, the ones that bring out the most are not the ones in charge of his case, in charge of his future in academics. That's just the way it is. There will always be this mom that takes what he gives me, then pushes me as I push him for more...and when I learn how behind we are - I feel guilty, because I have let him down. I didn't know that at 3 in pre-school the kids are cutting with scissors and gluing with glue sticks...not well, but doing it. I didn't realize that...last week he failed at this completely and it's on me, cause I didn't realize we were supposed to be doing this already.
So, right now he is "coloring" with Sydney and tomorrow we are going to try again to see if he can actually cut something with his scissors. Then for the rest of the month, I'm printing out Pumpkins and we're practicing with a glue stick to put shapes on them to make "Jack o' Lanterns" because I just don't know what else to do and I have to help him catch up. He will have enough challenges in life without me not preparing him for the ones I am supposed to.
Do I think that by December he'll suddenly jump up in development to be closer to a three, or three and a half year old. No. But at least he and I can work on this stuff together and hope we catch the other stuff as it comes. Sigh!
I didn't expect four, but I sure wasn't ready for two. Try again tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow! Never quit trying and he'll just keep learning and growing. Down the road, two will become three, which will become four and so on, and Bradley will just keep gently reminding me to breathe through this stuff - he'll get there, just on his own timeline, not theirs. I will continue to be proud of him, and proud for him - because I see the Gold in him and I get to see the shining moments he won't show anyone else. And if it gets to me too much, his Dad is always there beside me reminding me: "He's our Bradley, he's awesome. He'll get there in his own time."
Learning and Accepting...why I blog everyday in October for the "31 for 21: Challenge!" Bradley IS awesome, and he will get there! Good night all, have a good Monday night!
Sunday, October 6, 2013
A Family Portrait
I think that people have this idea that a child with Down syndrome is so different that he or she won't fit into the family. The idea that the child will look so different, act so different, be so different that his family will be ashamed and burdened.
It's time you learn the truth. Someone in the family is going to be the one that is different. When I was born I took that role by default; I was the only girl. I was spoiled, still am, my folks still are too generous to me or through me to my kids; that's how lucky and Blessed I am. But don't think that doesn't come with a price. We have family photograph after family photograph where the whole family matches, except me. One year, they were all in red while I was in yellow with a bow taped to my bald head. Yeah, when I was the baby I was different because I had no hair, and now I have the most. But despite the differences, we have some similarities too. I may be the odd one out for the most part, but I share the same eye color as my Dad and one brother, I share a love of reading with my mom and another brother. And if you take a few minutes to look between us, you'll see my parents mixed between all three of us kids. But that's how genetics work.
Fast forward a couple years and we get Madison who has dad's build and narrow face with Mom's eyes and light hair. Then Sydney comes along with mom's round face and strawberry curls with her dad's big blue eyes. And then we got Bradley. Bradley with mom's hair and chubby cheeks, dad's eyes and I would argue his nose as well... The smile might be mine, but at times I see us both. Stand Bradley's baby picture beside Sydney's and you'll ask if they're twins. Watch him smile at Madison, see the same smile coming back at him from her. Twinkling blue eyes full of mischief? Yeah, both of those between him and Sydney.
But what about that behavior? Yeah, about that. One girl cries and maybe they don't all cry, but Bradley will comfort the crier and voice his distress if someone's in trouble. Don't be yelling at his girls! But there are other things than those that his sisters teach him (good and bad!). Things that come through them each that isn't so much taught as inherently part of who they are and how they are connected as a family.
For example, when Madison was a baby she would hold my hair while she nursed, and even when she was eating solids and starting school - my hair was her comfort. To this day, if she gets close enough, she'll reach for a lock, without even thinking about it. But if she can't have mine, she's perfectly happy with holding her own. Bradley holds my hair when he's tired and falling asleep, he sings to it, but he does the same thing as his sister. And then we have Sydney and her blanket. The blanket that just might get turned into a quilt top so that she never truly gives up her comfort item. Bradley was also a blanket baby. He didn't need to be rocked to sleep he just needed a blanket (any blanket would do). Post surgery, his mother's inability to put him to bed wrapped in his blanket while keeping that button in his tummy...well that got him cut off from his blanket. Poor kid. Fast forward to his favorite blanket lost in the ER before transport to the hospital for his Christmas pneumonia and a sweet tech provided him a lighthouse quilt that he LOVES! When he came home from the hospital, Sydney felt bad that he 'd lost his blanket, so she gave him her backup blanket. An exact duplicate of her favorite. Bradley has taken to this blanket; in fact, he enjoys the corners against his hand or just as his sister did, against his nose. He prefers the soft satiny feel of this blanket, just like his sister...but, he is still pretty happy with the lighthouses too. So he's back to being a blanket baby. No night time feeds right now, and if I can keep his weight up, he might not go back to them. So for now, he grabs my hair like Madison, then I give him the blanket like Sydney, because he can't sleep with my hair but he can hold the blanket. At least he is willing to compromise.
Make no mistake, life with Bradley is different than we had anticipated. But, Bradley fits this family perfectly. Yeah he has a lot of therapies and a lot of work to help him keep moving forward, but he's worth it. Bradley has an extra chromosome, which is handy for us, we know about his little extra something and what we have to do to help him be as awesome as he is going to be. There is nothing hidden here, the door for his progress opened early because of his chromosome. We didn't have to prove anything more than that or fight to get him help. We'll have plenty to fight for him later, but we have plenty of fights for the girls too! We are parents and they are our kids and together we make a family of five with differences that give us our individuality and similarities that make us a family!
I see my kids, separate or together, and an extra chromosome is just a part of who we are and who our family is. It's good here, it's happy here. We are so Blessed! :-).
Happy Day Six, happy Sunday! 31 for 21: be aware, be accepting, and find yourself blessed!
It's time you learn the truth. Someone in the family is going to be the one that is different. When I was born I took that role by default; I was the only girl. I was spoiled, still am, my folks still are too generous to me or through me to my kids; that's how lucky and Blessed I am. But don't think that doesn't come with a price. We have family photograph after family photograph where the whole family matches, except me. One year, they were all in red while I was in yellow with a bow taped to my bald head. Yeah, when I was the baby I was different because I had no hair, and now I have the most. But despite the differences, we have some similarities too. I may be the odd one out for the most part, but I share the same eye color as my Dad and one brother, I share a love of reading with my mom and another brother. And if you take a few minutes to look between us, you'll see my parents mixed between all three of us kids. But that's how genetics work.
Fast forward a couple years and we get Madison who has dad's build and narrow face with Mom's eyes and light hair. Then Sydney comes along with mom's round face and strawberry curls with her dad's big blue eyes. And then we got Bradley. Bradley with mom's hair and chubby cheeks, dad's eyes and I would argue his nose as well... The smile might be mine, but at times I see us both. Stand Bradley's baby picture beside Sydney's and you'll ask if they're twins. Watch him smile at Madison, see the same smile coming back at him from her. Twinkling blue eyes full of mischief? Yeah, both of those between him and Sydney.
But what about that behavior? Yeah, about that. One girl cries and maybe they don't all cry, but Bradley will comfort the crier and voice his distress if someone's in trouble. Don't be yelling at his girls! But there are other things than those that his sisters teach him (good and bad!). Things that come through them each that isn't so much taught as inherently part of who they are and how they are connected as a family.
For example, when Madison was a baby she would hold my hair while she nursed, and even when she was eating solids and starting school - my hair was her comfort. To this day, if she gets close enough, she'll reach for a lock, without even thinking about it. But if she can't have mine, she's perfectly happy with holding her own. Bradley holds my hair when he's tired and falling asleep, he sings to it, but he does the same thing as his sister. And then we have Sydney and her blanket. The blanket that just might get turned into a quilt top so that she never truly gives up her comfort item. Bradley was also a blanket baby. He didn't need to be rocked to sleep he just needed a blanket (any blanket would do). Post surgery, his mother's inability to put him to bed wrapped in his blanket while keeping that button in his tummy...well that got him cut off from his blanket. Poor kid. Fast forward to his favorite blanket lost in the ER before transport to the hospital for his Christmas pneumonia and a sweet tech provided him a lighthouse quilt that he LOVES! When he came home from the hospital, Sydney felt bad that he 'd lost his blanket, so she gave him her backup blanket. An exact duplicate of her favorite. Bradley has taken to this blanket; in fact, he enjoys the corners against his hand or just as his sister did, against his nose. He prefers the soft satiny feel of this blanket, just like his sister...but, he is still pretty happy with the lighthouses too. So he's back to being a blanket baby. No night time feeds right now, and if I can keep his weight up, he might not go back to them. So for now, he grabs my hair like Madison, then I give him the blanket like Sydney, because he can't sleep with my hair but he can hold the blanket. At least he is willing to compromise.
Make no mistake, life with Bradley is different than we had anticipated. But, Bradley fits this family perfectly. Yeah he has a lot of therapies and a lot of work to help him keep moving forward, but he's worth it. Bradley has an extra chromosome, which is handy for us, we know about his little extra something and what we have to do to help him be as awesome as he is going to be. There is nothing hidden here, the door for his progress opened early because of his chromosome. We didn't have to prove anything more than that or fight to get him help. We'll have plenty to fight for him later, but we have plenty of fights for the girls too! We are parents and they are our kids and together we make a family of five with differences that give us our individuality and similarities that make us a family!
I see my kids, separate or together, and an extra chromosome is just a part of who we are and who our family is. It's good here, it's happy here. We are so Blessed! :-).
Happy Day Six, happy Sunday! 31 for 21: be aware, be accepting, and find yourself blessed!
Saturday, October 5, 2013
The Toddler Bed Debacle!
We moved Bradley to a Toddler bed in August. It wasn't that it seemed like a good idea at the time, it just seemed like it was the only option at the time. You see, Bradley learned how to climb this summer, and he's really good at it. The problem is the controlled (or lack thereof) descent. I would walk into his room and find him half in and half out of his crib. My favorite was when I walked in and he froze in place, planking over the corner of the crib, not in it, not out of it, more like hovering right above it. Apparently, he thought I wouldn't notice if he didn't move, so we had a bit of a stand-off him and I...but he blinked and I grabbed him and well, there began the Plans for the move from crib to toddler bed.
Plan A: We took the front panel of the crib off and replaced it with the accompanying toddler rail. For any of you who don't know what this is, it's about a six inch high rail that is half the length of the crib. It works to help keep the kiddo from rolling out of bed but gives them access to safely leave the bed.
Result: Couldn't keep Bradley in the bed. He would roll out and we would find him in various places around his room. By the baby gate, by the rocking chair... We thought to give this some time, like a week, see if repetition would solve this issue....WRONG!
Plan B: One of the girls old comforters to pad the front of the crib to allow him to have padding if (okay when) he vacated his bed at night, maybe keep him more comfortable and with the comforter placed appropriately, less under the bed excursions. In one night, he got himself half under the bed, concern of hurting him when pulling him out or pulling out the button in the removal process told us it was back to the drawing board.
Plan C: We used the crib bumper and put it along that edge to give him a little more edge to keep him in place.
Result: He pulled it out while in bed, or crawled out and pulled it out from the outside and resumed his nightly room cruises. When I almost stepped on him in the dark, I knew we needed a new plan.
Plan D: Took the bolts out of the wire mattress frame and set the whole thing on the ground, a better lip, more chance of him staying in. (Even then I was shaking my head...we see where this is going right?)
Result: Sadly, it left about a two inch gap between the bottom of the rail and the mattress, and with a less snug design, well, we knew we needed something to keep his arms and legs in at all times. We tried the comforter first. Too easily removed.
Plan E: Then the bumper from his original crib set.
Result: Maybe one whole night of sleep after close to two weeks of mere hours strung together. But I have to be honest here, sometimes exhaustion can set in so hard that he might have stepped out, laid where he stood and just slept hard and solid all night. Or he could have whimpered and fussed and in my sleep deprivation...I did not hear him. Anyway, heard him crying that next night, went rushing in to find half of him out of the crib under the railing and the other half still on the crib mattress in the bed. Reconcile that in your head at 4:00 am and have it come out as anywhere near sane! In my sleep fogged state I had a moment there of complete confusion trying to figure out where he started and stopped. I got it together but did enlist Eric's help so that one of us pushed the mattress as far down as possible and the other performed a careful extraction of Bradley while keeping the button (and all appendages) safely intact. Way back to the drawing board after that one.
Plan F: Doesn't seem possible does it? For some of you, this would have been your Plan A, and though I stick out my tongue in your general direction because now I see that it should have been mine as well; in my defense, he scared the bejesus out of me with his whole "Matrix" hovering trick and I reacted in panic rather than logic. That being said, the morning after the half in and half out debacle, I sat on the floor in front of his crib and we had a staring match, the crib and I. Well yes I lost, cribs have no eyes! But the point here is, I did come up with a Plan F!
I took the mattress out, then put the bumper in, the way we all do with our little babies when they use the bumper. But I tied the strings to the rails of the crib, and then to the bottom wire frame. Nowhere for him to push his arms, legs, whole self through anymore! It's a bear to change the sheet now, but, he is staying in his bed now! And there was much rejoicing in the kingdom! So this is what it looks like:
Plan A: We took the front panel of the crib off and replaced it with the accompanying toddler rail. For any of you who don't know what this is, it's about a six inch high rail that is half the length of the crib. It works to help keep the kiddo from rolling out of bed but gives them access to safely leave the bed.
Result: Couldn't keep Bradley in the bed. He would roll out and we would find him in various places around his room. By the baby gate, by the rocking chair... We thought to give this some time, like a week, see if repetition would solve this issue....WRONG!
Plan B: One of the girls old comforters to pad the front of the crib to allow him to have padding if (okay when) he vacated his bed at night, maybe keep him more comfortable and with the comforter placed appropriately, less under the bed excursions. In one night, he got himself half under the bed, concern of hurting him when pulling him out or pulling out the button in the removal process told us it was back to the drawing board.
Plan C: We used the crib bumper and put it along that edge to give him a little more edge to keep him in place.
Result: He pulled it out while in bed, or crawled out and pulled it out from the outside and resumed his nightly room cruises. When I almost stepped on him in the dark, I knew we needed a new plan.
Plan D: Took the bolts out of the wire mattress frame and set the whole thing on the ground, a better lip, more chance of him staying in. (Even then I was shaking my head...we see where this is going right?)
Result: Sadly, it left about a two inch gap between the bottom of the rail and the mattress, and with a less snug design, well, we knew we needed something to keep his arms and legs in at all times. We tried the comforter first. Too easily removed.
Plan E: Then the bumper from his original crib set.
Result: Maybe one whole night of sleep after close to two weeks of mere hours strung together. But I have to be honest here, sometimes exhaustion can set in so hard that he might have stepped out, laid where he stood and just slept hard and solid all night. Or he could have whimpered and fussed and in my sleep deprivation...I did not hear him. Anyway, heard him crying that next night, went rushing in to find half of him out of the crib under the railing and the other half still on the crib mattress in the bed. Reconcile that in your head at 4:00 am and have it come out as anywhere near sane! In my sleep fogged state I had a moment there of complete confusion trying to figure out where he started and stopped. I got it together but did enlist Eric's help so that one of us pushed the mattress as far down as possible and the other performed a careful extraction of Bradley while keeping the button (and all appendages) safely intact. Way back to the drawing board after that one.
Plan F: Doesn't seem possible does it? For some of you, this would have been your Plan A, and though I stick out my tongue in your general direction because now I see that it should have been mine as well; in my defense, he scared the bejesus out of me with his whole "Matrix" hovering trick and I reacted in panic rather than logic. That being said, the morning after the half in and half out debacle, I sat on the floor in front of his crib and we had a staring match, the crib and I. Well yes I lost, cribs have no eyes! But the point here is, I did come up with a Plan F!
I took the mattress out, then put the bumper in, the way we all do with our little babies when they use the bumper. But I tied the strings to the rails of the crib, and then to the bottom wire frame. Nowhere for him to push his arms, legs, whole self through anymore! It's a bear to change the sheet now, but, he is staying in his bed now! And there was much rejoicing in the kingdom! So this is what it looks like:
Snug as a bug in a rug! Feeling triumphant, I took this picture of him napping that very day and sent it to Eric at work. And as I told him I was hopeful that I had solved this issue with Bradley I looked at the picture quite pleased with myself and made this observation: This is going to be a short lived victory, he looks like he is almost too big for the toddler bed now. Total mixed bag here. At 32 pounds, and 37 1/4 inches tall - Bradley is growing and finally gaining weight! We can't tell you how excited we are about this! But, I JUST got this bed thing figured out so.... you know, feeling a little frustrated, but he's growing at last, so the frustration will pass pretty quickly.
Lately, he thinks it's way cool to stick his arm down in the pocket area created by the ties to the rail and the frame...maybe the impending move to the big boy bed is not such a bad move to anticipate after all... because honestly, I am not so sure I have a Plan G in me!
Seven hours Bradley, that's all I need. You give me seven hours of sleep tonight and it will feel like Christmas! Happy Saturday everyone!
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