Day 11 if the "31 for 21: Challenge!"
The whole time I was pregnant with Bradley I was worried about going into labor and delivering the baby on the Yoko/Yoko...the Toll Road between Yokohama and Yokosuka. When I learned the baby was a boy I was a little more agitated because I couldn't fathom naming my son "Yoko" but I could entertain the whimsical humor if the baby were a girl, we could have called her "Yoko" - I know some really great Yoko's. I never said I was logical when I was pregnant, I think that's my least logical time. But I will say that I was usually pretty quiet about all of it...I mean I knew I was crazy, so why advertise! :-)
When I was diagnosed with Melanoma, I was so shocked I couldn't even take it in. Life moved into the one step at a time mode...and we really haven't ever moved out of it. At 34 weeks, I went into surgery. I felt better about 34 weeks, at 34 weeks if the baby came they would still pump up his lungs, but he probably wouldn't have to go to the NICU, which meant a flight to Okinawa and a stay there. That would mean a long time away from the kids and we weren't sure how Eric could swing that kind of complication with two girls at home and a mom and baby an Island away. I never asked what would have happened if he had come then, and when they knew he had Down syndrome would that have made a difference? The diagnosis might not have, but the size could have been telling. Bradley was a good 7 lbs 2 oz, at birth...the smallest baby I delivered, the exact opposite of what I expected. I was the biggest!
I was awake for the procedure which was not fun, but humorous looking back. The surgical crew made it obvious they weren't used to the patient being awake and one particularly gruesome accounting of a post surgical room had my surgeon stopping in mid-procedure to silence them. Covered in blue sheets, I got the lifting of a sheet and a heartfelt apology. Though to be quite honest, the next discussion about lunch was much worse for a pregnant lady who hadn't ate in over fourteen hours. Another apology later, they started helping me come up with baby names. :-) Much safer topic by far!
Two days before Christmas, we got the good news that the Melanoma had spread to the margins but not past them and so we could wait till after the baby came to go in and widen the margins a little more for safety's sake. We made the long trip back and that night I started contracting in earnest for a few hours. Luckily, he changed his mind about coming because the trip down and back had worn me out and Christmas was only two days away, we had traditions to uphold for the girls. :-)
I was checked at 36 weeks, everything looked good and I went back at 37 weeks...and then my fluid levels had dropped from 12 to 8. They asked me to come back on the Friday three days later...we took my bag because we always did, just in case and we had the girls, just in case. I remember walking home from the girls dance class the night before and looking around wondering if it were going to snow, and wondering if I would be holding a baby on the next day. On Facebook, I let the family back home and our friends know that I was apparently a quart low and headed back down in the morning to check the oil.
I didn't tell Eric I was contracting on the way down. They weren't below six minutes, so I was trying not to worry, but he was my third and I was having those moments of sheer panic as I pictured us on the side of the road giving birth. Two little girls peeking over the seat in horror, Japanese motorists stuck in the same traffic as us...filming with their cell phones, some Japanese policeman scratching his head saying "so, so, so...no, you no do that here!" HAH!!! Stay right there dude, you're my focal point as I breathe and scream at you!
But none of that happened...the contractions continued, but they would need help and hours to get productive enough to bring Bradley. In the interim, an anesthesiologist gave me an epidural as best he could (the Melanoma of course, had to be dead center of the back, right where the epidural should go...hadn't planned for that at all!) and it deadened the right side of my body and not the left. Talk about surreal...I am not sure which was truly worst, the pain (and a lot of it) on the left side...or the dead nothing on the right. Same guy taught us how to use the pain medicine drip....only he didn't know how it worked. "Hold the button till it beeps!" Um, no doc, you hold the button till it beeps and the whole system locks you out...sigh....
Last year in the Challenge, I talked about our Midwife. Not to bore you now, just know, she was amazing! She was life saving and life giving...Because she and our crew were so amazing, I am going to repost their story from last year. Being so tech unsavvy...theirs was a private story I guess. They saw it because I posted it to Bradley's Facebook page, but maybe everyone should know about them. Heroes are the ones that take the time to change someone's fate, to lift someone from the brink onto the safest of shores. They don't always carry guns, they don't always wield scalpels, sometimes, they just decide to be there and be the rock that sees you through. They pull you through the fire to the other side, the best ones even help put out the flames on your coat. That was our crew! We were Blessed to be given Bradley, and each one of them helped us on our path to seeing that, and believing that. October is Down syndrome Awareness month, and we hope to take Awareness to Acceptance...they were our first teachers, and they are the ones that make us know that this is possible. They loved Bradley in his first moments, at his most vulnerable. I know that others can and will accept him too, all because a few people took the time and walked farther than they had too in order to take care of our little family.
So I didn't deliver him on the highway, but it was in the same hospital where I had delivered Madison. Considering the greatest number of years is between those two, I am thrilled that they have this extra special bond between them. That was not planned, but it is a nice perk now.
We fumble on our way, but not just with Bradley...we fumble on our way to being better parents to all three of these kids. It's the job we signed on for, to be their parents. It is the greatest gift, the greatest honor, and the greatest challenge. Frustration and Joy, all mixed into one house with three incredible kids. Special kids choose the most malleable parents, and then mold them into being what they need. And if anyone ever tells my kids the truth of this I will disown you because that will shift the balance of power in my house forever and Eric and I are toast! ;-) Have a great Friday!
PS... I am thinking of a special little baby that is coming into the world today. May God Bless you with all the Joy and Love that your incredible heart and spirit can hold. May God Bless this family as your journey together begins. May you know that there are those that will walk with you when you need a friend, and carry you when you are overwhelmed. Congratulations and much joy to you today and always - welcome to the most amazing (though sometimes hard, really hard) journey of your life. Art Williams says it best: "I'm not telling you it's going to be easy - I'm telling you it's going to be worth it." Thinking of you!
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