Bradley has graduated to allergy shots once a month. We haven’t reduced his Zyrtec, or his Flonase - we probably could, but right now he is doing so much better as things are that hitting that previous goal of removing medicines seems a step too far to take. And here is the paradox...remove a med and hope that he doesn’t Backtrack...or stay right where we are and see what happens over the next six months to a year and frankly be ecstatic with how things are for him right now. When he’s doing well, the last thing I want to do is change anything... but still...
And we won’t be trying it any time soon as he came home from school with a fever today. The Santa Ana winds kicked up at the beginning of the week, when that happens we try to keep him out of the wind as much as possible. Too bad the bathroom is a considerable distance from his classroom; yeah, sort of inevitable really. He had a lot of behaviors at school. Hitting his head...all the stuff I hate to hear about and know that he’s doing, but somewhere along the way I was handed the adulting job, so I have to hear about all that stuff. And despite the reassurances that Bradley was doing all right, his teacher still had the behaviorist trying to work with him today.
For some reason, my guy doesn’t like to return to the classroom after the bathroom breaks. Today he felt like crap so he was off the charts in his behaviors. So he came home with a couple bumps on his head because he reverted to trying (and today successfully) hitting his head on the ground. Apparently, they tried a sort of foam like helmet; well um yeah, that didn’t match his outfit so he tossed it. Just kidding, thing is he doesn’t like hats; in fact, he hates them. And the thing about Bradley is, he is the same today as he has been the last six years. He does not have one thing that he loves more than anything else and will follow rules and compliance just so he can have that toy or that treat. He lights up for one thing for a few days maybe a week, and then he doesn’t care if he can’t have it. He just moves o to whatever is available. So yeah, School was rough today.
My boy came to the top of the stairs of the bus, and I looked at him and could just say: “My poor boy, you had a rough day buddy.” He climbed down into my arms, and put his head on my shoulder and we came inside. He sat down on the floor, then laid down. So we spent some time there as I helped him with his shoes and socks, then gently checked out his battle wounds from the day. I finally told him “come here bud” and he crawled into my lap and laid his head on my shoulder and we sat there until he started to fall asleep, letting me rub his head (which he never does because he thinks I’m stealing his soul or something) before I got up with him and we sat on the couch. A few drinks of juice later, he was sacked out and took a good two hour nap.
He is better this evening, surprisingly down at about his usual time for bed, so that tells us he is just really exhausted and not feeling well. We’ll see how he does through the night whether or not we go see his doc tomorrow. The fever returns we’ll go in, but for now he is fever free...go team Motrin. Fever free and hopefully pain free for the night which I am hoping means a good night’s sleep for him and me...followed by a day where he is feeling better and recovering tomorrow. Time will tell of course, but I am hoping that this is just a mild cold that goes away quickly.
Unfortunately, Bradley will miss the school Jog-a-thon, which is only a bummer because he loves to run out on that field. Tomorrow will also probably be a wind free day, just because. But if it is, we’ll go outside and have our own jog-a-thon if he’s feeling better. But we’ll see how it goes.
For now, everyone to sleep except Madison who is busy finishing up her AP US History homework. Finally, a night I get to bed before she does! Hah!
Thursday, October 18, 2018
Wednesday, October 17, 2018
These Schools!!!
I keep threatening to HomeSchool my kids. Problem is, I truly lack the patience, the imagination, and at their levels in school: the ability. Madison is doing math I barely passed in High School. Sydney is doing Biology that I vaguely recall having in school and something about a fetal pig... which I don’t even know if they still do in classes now. And now she’s talking about being a surgeon, potentially a Neurosurgeon... so I feel the pressure that the teacher has to be pretty great and know his or her stuff, cause we’re literally talking brain surgery potential here.
That being said, I am sick and tired of money hungry schools. And I’m not talking about the PTA or PTSA, although why my family has to fork over money for each member is beyond me. I signed my girls up, you don’t give me a membership ID, so that cool list of discounts I can get are their word against mine, I don’t carry that particular receipt around in my wallet. I have a hundred other ones which makes me a great target for a pickpocket... “Oh, look how thick her wallet is, bet she has a ton of money in there?” Hah!!!! Suckers! The only things I have in there are receipts for school stuff and moths that will take an eye out they move out of there so fast!
Every year, money just bleeds out of us as we just try to successfully send our kids to school. It’s endless: pictures, supplies, insurance on laptops, clothes, shoes, PE clothes or for Madison dance clothes and Sydney, volleyball gear, then there are the fees for joining a club or being in band, and then there is always another round of supplies needed. Because the first set is our best guess to try to get them through the first month, by then either a list has come home or Back to School night happens and then there’s a whole other list. But then you have the fun stuff to do, like dances and sporting events. Everything has a price, from football games to school dances - bigger the dance event, bigger the price. In two weeks, my girls are playing a band concert...I have to pay ten bucks per person for that, but didn’t I just fork over a ton to get your band thing going? I mean I get that this is a newer school, smaller program, smaller funding - but does it all really have to come from my pocket? Can’t you guys apply for a grant or something? Just askin’ - uh, for a friend. I love to support! Go Band! (Where is that sarcasm font anyway?) Thing is, I am all for music. I love the place it has in the lives of my kids, I just can’t fund the kind of instruments that we just have to have.
Yeah, the constant need gets to me, not that I don’t understand the need. And it could be much worse, but there are reasons for some of the roads we take - like our middle kid would pass out from the heat in marching band. And the required $1800 price tag almost made me pass out. I was light headed just from hearing the price, mixed with sheer gratitude that Volleyball worked out because Sydney wanted to do Marching band as an alternative, her heat issues and that price tag would have seriously put a damper on that potential for sure. Everything has a price; Volleyball did...but it wasn’t like band.
So yeah, these things get wearisome. But nothing makes me consider homeschooling like the Administration running these schools in these districts. I’m sick to death of these people having more say over my kid than they let me have. I don’t get to say my kid is sick and with me; nope, I am no longer reliable or responsible for my kid. I can’t be trusted! Facts aside, how do they know? Haha. But seriously, the schools are so busy pinching pennies that I have to provide a note from someone more responsible than me if I have to take them out of school. If there is doctor’s note then the only excusable absence is for death in the family. If one of my kids is ill and wants,to leave early, I have to take her to the doctor and get a note for it, or it isn’t excusable. I have to plan ahead. If there is a potential that they might not make it through the day, they have to just stay home sick for the whole day, no partials here. It’s ridiculous! That’s how badly the district wants their money, because if you have two unexcused absences parents get a nasty gram sent to the house suggesting punishments for student and parents alike. It’s not about the quality of education, it’s about getting paid for each butt in a seat. If it were about safety; a phone call would happen at the beginning of a class, not ten hours later by an automated machine. It’s about the money. The girls are hanging on just wanting to finish and I can’t blame them! High School, I too am holding on, only wanting them to be finished with High School because of the school and the district. How sad. Ready for them to be done so I can be done with the school.
And why did I feel the need to pick on band? Simple. The freshman class was required to attend a Career Day event in the Performing Arts Center between periods 1-3. Who hit my kid with an unexcused absence? Band. It’s always band. For Madison, it has always been a mistake in band... Sydney now has the same issue. So I have to call and point out that she was there at school and that it has to be corrected, then I have to check in the morning to make sure. Cause I have nothing but time to do all this. Okay, time maybe - but patience...not likely.
The frustration is real for sure! Why do I like Bradley’s school? I just email his teacher he’s absent and she says ok, and then that’s that. Who knew that when they said sometimes he would be the easiest...it would be totally true. I refuse to think about High School with Bradley. Won’t even consider thinking about Middle School right now. One day at a time for Bradley. Actually, one day at a time with the girls too, sometime that’s just the best answer over all.
Another crazy day, into a crazy night and now a quiet night, just waiting for me to sleep with everyone else. Until tomorrow folks... Good night! Thanks for tagging along.
That being said, I am sick and tired of money hungry schools. And I’m not talking about the PTA or PTSA, although why my family has to fork over money for each member is beyond me. I signed my girls up, you don’t give me a membership ID, so that cool list of discounts I can get are their word against mine, I don’t carry that particular receipt around in my wallet. I have a hundred other ones which makes me a great target for a pickpocket... “Oh, look how thick her wallet is, bet she has a ton of money in there?” Hah!!!! Suckers! The only things I have in there are receipts for school stuff and moths that will take an eye out they move out of there so fast!
Every year, money just bleeds out of us as we just try to successfully send our kids to school. It’s endless: pictures, supplies, insurance on laptops, clothes, shoes, PE clothes or for Madison dance clothes and Sydney, volleyball gear, then there are the fees for joining a club or being in band, and then there is always another round of supplies needed. Because the first set is our best guess to try to get them through the first month, by then either a list has come home or Back to School night happens and then there’s a whole other list. But then you have the fun stuff to do, like dances and sporting events. Everything has a price, from football games to school dances - bigger the dance event, bigger the price. In two weeks, my girls are playing a band concert...I have to pay ten bucks per person for that, but didn’t I just fork over a ton to get your band thing going? I mean I get that this is a newer school, smaller program, smaller funding - but does it all really have to come from my pocket? Can’t you guys apply for a grant or something? Just askin’ - uh, for a friend. I love to support! Go Band! (Where is that sarcasm font anyway?) Thing is, I am all for music. I love the place it has in the lives of my kids, I just can’t fund the kind of instruments that we just have to have.
Yeah, the constant need gets to me, not that I don’t understand the need. And it could be much worse, but there are reasons for some of the roads we take - like our middle kid would pass out from the heat in marching band. And the required $1800 price tag almost made me pass out. I was light headed just from hearing the price, mixed with sheer gratitude that Volleyball worked out because Sydney wanted to do Marching band as an alternative, her heat issues and that price tag would have seriously put a damper on that potential for sure. Everything has a price; Volleyball did...but it wasn’t like band.
So yeah, these things get wearisome. But nothing makes me consider homeschooling like the Administration running these schools in these districts. I’m sick to death of these people having more say over my kid than they let me have. I don’t get to say my kid is sick and with me; nope, I am no longer reliable or responsible for my kid. I can’t be trusted! Facts aside, how do they know? Haha. But seriously, the schools are so busy pinching pennies that I have to provide a note from someone more responsible than me if I have to take them out of school. If there is doctor’s note then the only excusable absence is for death in the family. If one of my kids is ill and wants,to leave early, I have to take her to the doctor and get a note for it, or it isn’t excusable. I have to plan ahead. If there is a potential that they might not make it through the day, they have to just stay home sick for the whole day, no partials here. It’s ridiculous! That’s how badly the district wants their money, because if you have two unexcused absences parents get a nasty gram sent to the house suggesting punishments for student and parents alike. It’s not about the quality of education, it’s about getting paid for each butt in a seat. If it were about safety; a phone call would happen at the beginning of a class, not ten hours later by an automated machine. It’s about the money. The girls are hanging on just wanting to finish and I can’t blame them! High School, I too am holding on, only wanting them to be finished with High School because of the school and the district. How sad. Ready for them to be done so I can be done with the school.
And why did I feel the need to pick on band? Simple. The freshman class was required to attend a Career Day event in the Performing Arts Center between periods 1-3. Who hit my kid with an unexcused absence? Band. It’s always band. For Madison, it has always been a mistake in band... Sydney now has the same issue. So I have to call and point out that she was there at school and that it has to be corrected, then I have to check in the morning to make sure. Cause I have nothing but time to do all this. Okay, time maybe - but patience...not likely.
The frustration is real for sure! Why do I like Bradley’s school? I just email his teacher he’s absent and she says ok, and then that’s that. Who knew that when they said sometimes he would be the easiest...it would be totally true. I refuse to think about High School with Bradley. Won’t even consider thinking about Middle School right now. One day at a time for Bradley. Actually, one day at a time with the girls too, sometime that’s just the best answer over all.
Another crazy day, into a crazy night and now a quiet night, just waiting for me to sleep with everyone else. Until tomorrow folks... Good night! Thanks for tagging along.
Tuesday, October 16, 2018
Deciphering his Log
Bradley has a communication log that travels back and forth between school and home. It’s a composition book, and his teacher and I write to each other. So far this year I’ve learned a lot about how Bradley isn’t quite listening in class and protesting changing from one preferred task to an unpreferred. He now knows that eventually teachers and staff go away and he gets a whole new bunch of teachers and staff. Right now, he is waiting for that to happen with his Occupational Therapist. He loves her, he does - he hugs her and smiles and will work for her, but if he didn’t have to work so hard, well that would make him happier. Speech, he’s good with her and still enjoys individual and group lessons. She starts making him do too many things that he doesn’t want to do and well, he’ll be waiting for her to be switched out too. Hey, you keep changing out teachers and aides and well, you get what you get. And his teacher knew this and she’ll tell me, you told us he was going to test us and well, he is.
I hear good stuff too. When he transitions well, when he follows directions, when he works well - especially when he decides to work for his Occupational Therapist. Let’s face it, that’s just good news. But usually, I get the rough parts of his day so we can try to brainstorm on how to fix the issues, how to help him adjust better to school...all this and then some of the good too. It’s so hard because there isn’t enough time to do anything but give me a small snapshot, between class and medical needs, and everything else there just isn’t time to sit and write me a small book about Bradley’s day.
Lately, it seems that his book is always full of behavior issues and all those things that we have tried to remove with his therapies the last few years. So of course, I started getting nervous that all the work we put in was going to be all for nothing and right back into therapies. Who knows, we might be headed back there, but at least not at this moment it would seem. When I went to Bradley’s assessment for technology I spoke to his teacher about his behavior. I asked if we needed to start bringing in the behaviorist that she told me she had at the ready. She just smiled and told me that he was doing fine and starting to get the hang of things in the classroom. Weird since I’d been hearing that he was scratching and bit someone and then threw his toy at someone when getting off the bus because he didn’t want it anymore. But apparently, he is not as much trouble as his book was leading me to believe.
With that in mind, I wonder if I can take today’s book message for truth to not. Apparently, he had a great day. Is that a true great day, or a sort of great day, or a day better because he’s been better than usual? Good grief! I kind of read his book each day and wonder how much is being left out. How much of the good stuff and how much of the rough stuff is actually a true picture of his day. Do they have to dig through his day looking for a needle in a haystack in order to find a good bit of news to share about his day? Or same way for the bad bits? Not likely, Bradley isn’t good at compliance. He tries to be, he wants to, but he just can’t always get himself to listen and comply when he’s told too.
We can only hope that as Bradley’s communication skills increase; his understanding of why, how, and when to listen and follow directions will improve too. For right now, we’re just going to be happy that according to the book, Bradley had a great day. And though it wasn’t clear, he might be taking steps towards potty training too...but until I have confirmation on mostly dry diapers I won’t be getting too excited. If he doesn’t have fluid output at school then we have more than behavior problems for sure. Friday is the big Jog-a-thon for the elementary school, Bradley’s class will be out on a smaller circle track and I’ll go to help out with him, the kids, whatever is needed when our classes join other classes in an open field with plenty of reason and incentives to run. Somewhere in there, I hope to talk briefly with his teacher to find out if we are having any positive potty training happening or if my guy is not producing enough fluid. Here’s hoping for the positive side of things and nothing needing medical intervention.
The tidbits of the good and bad from his days are tough to interpret indeed. Something tells me his communication book is going to be full by the end of his year. Or maybe at the end of the first trimester with how much is being written. Yikes!!!
I hear good stuff too. When he transitions well, when he follows directions, when he works well - especially when he decides to work for his Occupational Therapist. Let’s face it, that’s just good news. But usually, I get the rough parts of his day so we can try to brainstorm on how to fix the issues, how to help him adjust better to school...all this and then some of the good too. It’s so hard because there isn’t enough time to do anything but give me a small snapshot, between class and medical needs, and everything else there just isn’t time to sit and write me a small book about Bradley’s day.
Lately, it seems that his book is always full of behavior issues and all those things that we have tried to remove with his therapies the last few years. So of course, I started getting nervous that all the work we put in was going to be all for nothing and right back into therapies. Who knows, we might be headed back there, but at least not at this moment it would seem. When I went to Bradley’s assessment for technology I spoke to his teacher about his behavior. I asked if we needed to start bringing in the behaviorist that she told me she had at the ready. She just smiled and told me that he was doing fine and starting to get the hang of things in the classroom. Weird since I’d been hearing that he was scratching and bit someone and then threw his toy at someone when getting off the bus because he didn’t want it anymore. But apparently, he is not as much trouble as his book was leading me to believe.
With that in mind, I wonder if I can take today’s book message for truth to not. Apparently, he had a great day. Is that a true great day, or a sort of great day, or a day better because he’s been better than usual? Good grief! I kind of read his book each day and wonder how much is being left out. How much of the good stuff and how much of the rough stuff is actually a true picture of his day. Do they have to dig through his day looking for a needle in a haystack in order to find a good bit of news to share about his day? Or same way for the bad bits? Not likely, Bradley isn’t good at compliance. He tries to be, he wants to, but he just can’t always get himself to listen and comply when he’s told too.
We can only hope that as Bradley’s communication skills increase; his understanding of why, how, and when to listen and follow directions will improve too. For right now, we’re just going to be happy that according to the book, Bradley had a great day. And though it wasn’t clear, he might be taking steps towards potty training too...but until I have confirmation on mostly dry diapers I won’t be getting too excited. If he doesn’t have fluid output at school then we have more than behavior problems for sure. Friday is the big Jog-a-thon for the elementary school, Bradley’s class will be out on a smaller circle track and I’ll go to help out with him, the kids, whatever is needed when our classes join other classes in an open field with plenty of reason and incentives to run. Somewhere in there, I hope to talk briefly with his teacher to find out if we are having any positive potty training happening or if my guy is not producing enough fluid. Here’s hoping for the positive side of things and nothing needing medical intervention.
The tidbits of the good and bad from his days are tough to interpret indeed. Something tells me his communication book is going to be full by the end of his year. Or maybe at the end of the first trimester with how much is being written. Yikes!!!
Monday, October 15, 2018
Still Listening
While Eric went to class, I took the kids to the Volleyball Families Appreciation Night at Sports Academy. I lost the girls immediately as they first found one of their favorite coaches, then they left her and found their teammates. I helped Bradley from the safety of his stroller and then he started to run around the Club. At first it was mostly melee, but I noticed the girls had acquired basketballs, so I caught his attention and told him that his sisters had Basketballs, but he didn’t respond, so I bent closer made him look at me and signed to him that his sisters had basketballs, then he looked for them and went running to play with them. They played with him a couple minutes but then a game of dodgeball,started, so Bradley and I went in search of a different game to play with a ball. We tried to play soccer, but then he started to wander back towards the girls, so I asked him if he wanted to eat. Again, he was not tuning in to me, so I stopped him, got down to his level and signed with him. Turns out he was ready to eat and he told me so. He also knew where to go.
We walked out to the food area and he ran up to the meats and pointed to hotdogs, so I asked him if he wants a hotdog, he told me “yes.” So I told him we needed a plate and a bun, so we walked to the table. Bradley grabbed a water bottle and handed it to me, “I said thanks.” He managed a bit of “welcome.” I understood. So I pointed to the condiments and asked him what he wanted, he pointed to all three: ketchup, mustard, and relish. Then he said no to chips but yes to a cookie, smart boy.
Off we went to sit down, so I pointed to the area by his stroller, so he took off and ran over and hopped into his stroller to sit. So he has choking issues, so what ensued was this mom trying to as neatly as possible, to help Bradley navigate safely through eating a hotdog without a knife. After his first bite, Bradley was so happy, he ditched his shoes and then his socks. When he finished his hotdog, he ate most of the cookie, then wanted his shoes. I told him he had to finish his cookie first, so he ate a couple more bites and then tried to feed me the rest of his cookie - so we shared it. So I put his shoes on him again, and ask him “what now?” He signs to eat more. So off we went.
He ran to the hotdogs again, and I said how about chips, which he was a big negative on. But then we saw Shaved Ice. So I get him over there and sure enough it’s the one thing that costs money. But the lady was sweet and offered to give him a sample, which was great because sometimes the liquid to solid in his mouth doesn’t work. She gave him a half a cup! I’m like, wow that’s a large sample. She just grinned at me. So Bradley and I head back to sit, but first he tries to walk between two people talking, so I stop him and take his hand and apologize for interrupting...but they just smiled at him and told him he could stay and join their conversation. Sweet. But we had shaved ice to try, so we walked back inside and Bradley ran back to his stroller seat and proceeded to ditch his shoes and his socks. He ate all his shaved ice and then all of his apple sauce laced medicine. Then knowing he would be getting very sleepy very soon, I put his socks and shoes back on and took him over to the kids soccer setup. So I kept telling him to kick the ball, stop picking it up and kick with your feet, no hands... and on and on. So finally, I bent down and signed to him, no hands, no throw - kick the ball. So then Bradley kicked the ball.
For a couple more minutes Bradley and I repeated this, and when I signed to him he understood what to do and would try to follow the directions. I watched him chasing the balls and I was overwhelmed by how stiff he runs, how he doesn’t seem to know how to bend his knees. He needs Physical Therapy still. And as a I considered his movements and his responses to each time I made him look at me and he would sign back and forth with me...I realized how much he still needs signs. And tonight for the first time, he was engaging with me with signs and words, repeating as many words as possible. He was hugging people, giving high fives, and looking at people and saying Hi, and thank you’s.
Well, after all the soccer, I watched his battery run down to zero, and I told him let’s go. He walked beside me, his eyes huge and dilated, his expression closing off to the sleepy face that we all get when exhaustion hits so hard. He climbed up and I strapped him in. He reached for his shoes, but I took them and his socks off for him. I gave him his movie and within five minutes, he was sacked out.
By 7:39 I told the girls to wrap it up, and we headed home. He was awake for the car ride, but willingly followed me to his room for jammies and meds. As I vented him, I noticed his button was dangerously loose. Sure enough, the balloon had burst. So I changed out his button, finishing as dad came through the front door. But Bradley did well, didn’t fight as hard just objected to the cold lubricant that we use on the new balloon to slide the stem of the new button into place. In fact, he knocked it out the first time and I had to pop it back in. But we got it, Dad got him into his jammies while I cleaned up and sleep for Bradley happened soon after.
After the long day yesterday, school, and then goofing around today...Madison and Sydney were out close to as quickly as Bradley was. Tired kids! Since Eric is currently asleep beside me... and I believe every animal we have is also asleep....I’ll just say, “Tired house.”
I see now that I have to practice my signs because I am getting rusty. Bradley still needs them and
does better in an overwhelming situation when he has them. I didn’t know if he was was listening, so I didn’t know how many I should keep using...turns out he is listening more now than ever.
Brushing up on old signs tomorrow and learning some new ones to teach us both. Time to keep the conversation going sweet boy...I’m listening.
We walked out to the food area and he ran up to the meats and pointed to hotdogs, so I asked him if he wants a hotdog, he told me “yes.” So I told him we needed a plate and a bun, so we walked to the table. Bradley grabbed a water bottle and handed it to me, “I said thanks.” He managed a bit of “welcome.” I understood. So I pointed to the condiments and asked him what he wanted, he pointed to all three: ketchup, mustard, and relish. Then he said no to chips but yes to a cookie, smart boy.
Off we went to sit down, so I pointed to the area by his stroller, so he took off and ran over and hopped into his stroller to sit. So he has choking issues, so what ensued was this mom trying to as neatly as possible, to help Bradley navigate safely through eating a hotdog without a knife. After his first bite, Bradley was so happy, he ditched his shoes and then his socks. When he finished his hotdog, he ate most of the cookie, then wanted his shoes. I told him he had to finish his cookie first, so he ate a couple more bites and then tried to feed me the rest of his cookie - so we shared it. So I put his shoes on him again, and ask him “what now?” He signs to eat more. So off we went.
He ran to the hotdogs again, and I said how about chips, which he was a big negative on. But then we saw Shaved Ice. So I get him over there and sure enough it’s the one thing that costs money. But the lady was sweet and offered to give him a sample, which was great because sometimes the liquid to solid in his mouth doesn’t work. She gave him a half a cup! I’m like, wow that’s a large sample. She just grinned at me. So Bradley and I head back to sit, but first he tries to walk between two people talking, so I stop him and take his hand and apologize for interrupting...but they just smiled at him and told him he could stay and join their conversation. Sweet. But we had shaved ice to try, so we walked back inside and Bradley ran back to his stroller seat and proceeded to ditch his shoes and his socks. He ate all his shaved ice and then all of his apple sauce laced medicine. Then knowing he would be getting very sleepy very soon, I put his socks and shoes back on and took him over to the kids soccer setup. So I kept telling him to kick the ball, stop picking it up and kick with your feet, no hands... and on and on. So finally, I bent down and signed to him, no hands, no throw - kick the ball. So then Bradley kicked the ball.
For a couple more minutes Bradley and I repeated this, and when I signed to him he understood what to do and would try to follow the directions. I watched him chasing the balls and I was overwhelmed by how stiff he runs, how he doesn’t seem to know how to bend his knees. He needs Physical Therapy still. And as a I considered his movements and his responses to each time I made him look at me and he would sign back and forth with me...I realized how much he still needs signs. And tonight for the first time, he was engaging with me with signs and words, repeating as many words as possible. He was hugging people, giving high fives, and looking at people and saying Hi, and thank you’s.
Well, after all the soccer, I watched his battery run down to zero, and I told him let’s go. He walked beside me, his eyes huge and dilated, his expression closing off to the sleepy face that we all get when exhaustion hits so hard. He climbed up and I strapped him in. He reached for his shoes, but I took them and his socks off for him. I gave him his movie and within five minutes, he was sacked out.
By 7:39 I told the girls to wrap it up, and we headed home. He was awake for the car ride, but willingly followed me to his room for jammies and meds. As I vented him, I noticed his button was dangerously loose. Sure enough, the balloon had burst. So I changed out his button, finishing as dad came through the front door. But Bradley did well, didn’t fight as hard just objected to the cold lubricant that we use on the new balloon to slide the stem of the new button into place. In fact, he knocked it out the first time and I had to pop it back in. But we got it, Dad got him into his jammies while I cleaned up and sleep for Bradley happened soon after.
After the long day yesterday, school, and then goofing around today...Madison and Sydney were out close to as quickly as Bradley was. Tired kids! Since Eric is currently asleep beside me... and I believe every animal we have is also asleep....I’ll just say, “Tired house.”
I see now that I have to practice my signs because I am getting rusty. Bradley still needs them and
does better in an overwhelming situation when he has them. I didn’t know if he was was listening, so I didn’t know how many I should keep using...turns out he is listening more now than ever.
Brushing up on old signs tomorrow and learning some new ones to teach us both. Time to keep the conversation going sweet boy...I’m listening.
Sunday, October 14, 2018
A Really Busy Sunday - For Some
Today the girls had the opportunity to go and be ambassadors to a group of teenagers from Japan. Sports Academy, the Club they play Volleyball for, hosted the event and invited our athletes to come and volunteer to be demonstrators to help bridge the language barrier. I asked the girls if they wanted or do it on Wednesday, Sydney has been so excited since, she started peppering me with phrases she might need to know so she could communicate with her new friends. So I gave her a bunch and then when she got home from school I handed her my favorite phrase books so she could study. And she did study, then today she took her note cards with her. I asked her if she was using her phrases and she laughed and said, “Not really. Mostly: hello, thank you, sorry...stuff like that.” Made me laugh when she said every time she said thank you in Japanese, her group responded with thank you in English. This I totally get because this happened to me all the time in Japan. So we both laughed over this. Madison had a blast too. She loved her group and really hopes that she gets a chance to go and do this kind of day with more potential groups. Both girls really enjoyed their day and their company. Perhaps they are both a little homesick for Japan now, but that’s not such a bad thing either. We want them to remember Japan and how much they loved their time there, it’s important.
As for Bradley, he spent the day with Eric and I. He and I sat on the floor while he inspected every little car he has and pulled out every one connected with Lightning McQueen; so of course, we had to choose his McQueen shirt to wear for the day. And then, when Dad got home from dropping the girls, he brought treats in a pink box. Bradley picked up the mini muffins I was giving him, placed them on my plate and pointed at the pink box. Then he proceeded to spend then rest of the day intermittently showing me that he can roll his tongue with superb accuracy and style. He can even sneak it into a kiss, because he’s a stinkpot like that.
The three of us went to dinner, and he pointed to cheese pizza three times before the waiter finally showed up to take our order. I turned over his paper menu to see if we could draw...he pointed to and said “bus,” then he pushed the paper away. Just because he CAN color, doesn’t mean he has any desire too. With his pizza, we ordered honey bbq chicken wings, his favorite! He kept pointing to them, even as I was feeding him pieces, he still kept pointing to the platter until all the chicken was on his plate. Only then was he satisfied to stop pointing. Crazy lunatic boy.
All in all, it was kind of a quiet day, or a calm day, with Bradley. These are proving to be fewer and further between, so we were pretty happy to mix this one in today. It will take me a couple hours to get the house back into shape tomorrow, but that’s okay. He was a busy little guy today. His sisters were busy little girls today too... tomorrow, I can set things straight and they get back to their chores and Bradley keeps on rolling his tongue, jabbering, and hopefully still throwing us some intricate and curious little hand gestures that only mean things to him, but look really cute to us. He’s copying something, just haven’t figured out what yet. Haha.
Since part of today included a nap for the three of us, this is a short little note to end Sunday on. Mom and dad are battling some strange make you cough cold, so the nap helped...and the medicine is making me sleepy. The girls were exhausted, Bradley was too since his weekend mornings always start earlier than his school days...so except for the dog snoring - it’s a pretty quiet night...perfect sleeping conditions Bradley... do this for me buddy! Just in case he doesn’t choose to do this for me, I’m headed to sleep too.
Until tomorrow friends, have a safe and good night!
As for Bradley, he spent the day with Eric and I. He and I sat on the floor while he inspected every little car he has and pulled out every one connected with Lightning McQueen; so of course, we had to choose his McQueen shirt to wear for the day. And then, when Dad got home from dropping the girls, he brought treats in a pink box. Bradley picked up the mini muffins I was giving him, placed them on my plate and pointed at the pink box. Then he proceeded to spend then rest of the day intermittently showing me that he can roll his tongue with superb accuracy and style. He can even sneak it into a kiss, because he’s a stinkpot like that.
The three of us went to dinner, and he pointed to cheese pizza three times before the waiter finally showed up to take our order. I turned over his paper menu to see if we could draw...he pointed to and said “bus,” then he pushed the paper away. Just because he CAN color, doesn’t mean he has any desire too. With his pizza, we ordered honey bbq chicken wings, his favorite! He kept pointing to them, even as I was feeding him pieces, he still kept pointing to the platter until all the chicken was on his plate. Only then was he satisfied to stop pointing. Crazy lunatic boy.
All in all, it was kind of a quiet day, or a calm day, with Bradley. These are proving to be fewer and further between, so we were pretty happy to mix this one in today. It will take me a couple hours to get the house back into shape tomorrow, but that’s okay. He was a busy little guy today. His sisters were busy little girls today too... tomorrow, I can set things straight and they get back to their chores and Bradley keeps on rolling his tongue, jabbering, and hopefully still throwing us some intricate and curious little hand gestures that only mean things to him, but look really cute to us. He’s copying something, just haven’t figured out what yet. Haha.
Since part of today included a nap for the three of us, this is a short little note to end Sunday on. Mom and dad are battling some strange make you cough cold, so the nap helped...and the medicine is making me sleepy. The girls were exhausted, Bradley was too since his weekend mornings always start earlier than his school days...so except for the dog snoring - it’s a pretty quiet night...perfect sleeping conditions Bradley... do this for me buddy! Just in case he doesn’t choose to do this for me, I’m headed to sleep too.
Until tomorrow friends, have a safe and good night!
Saturday, October 13, 2018
About That Nest
The day my daughter got her license, I was overwhelmed with anxiety and pride at the same time. She did it, and now she had stepped into a whole new world of independence and growing up. When she drove off to school on her own, it was a surreal moment and it made me cry knowing that I can’t protect her on the road, that there is so much in life she has to do on her own and I can’t be there for her. I can be a phone call away, I can be the place she comes home too, but she has to do this life on her own. And I want her to, I want her to grab life by the horns and run with it living life to the fullest and being happy in it. She is living her life fully, nothing less would be acceptable, no matter what Mom feels inside.
And then I closed my eyes and when I opened them again, my oldest is driving my second child to school with her. Watching them drive off was so hard, letting them go and knowing that life changed completely and there is no going back. They are teens, so close to the next step in their journey and their parents will be as much a part of their lives as they have time and patience for us. Because life marches on and we just keep stepping forward, sometimes sideways...sometimes a little bit back. But always life keeps marching on whether we want it to slow down or not.
And then there was the day that the girls left together, following behind the bus that took Bradley away too. All at once, the three of them were gone, not in the same vehicle, but all gone at the same time. And it gave me a lump in my throat and it left me standing on the sidewalk as I watched them all ride away, leaving me behind. And as hard as it was in that moment; it was as it is meant to be. The kids leave the nest and the parents are left to turn bedrooms into craft rooms, and remodel houses and somehow try to create a new life without the kids in it everyday. And we just worry about them. Our brains can only take so much stress and anxiety, so we get numb to it, and try to keep the Faith that all will be well, that all will work out somehow. And if things go awry, our phones will ring and we’ll do the best we can for these precious kids that carry our hearts outside of our bodies.
My kids are growing up but are still young enough that at the end of the day, they come home. And Eric and I know that Bradley will likely always be home with us, and that’s a good thing for us. Medically speaking, probably the best for him too. The girls sometimes say they are thinking of staying home; real life gets scary sometimes, and we smile and always tell them they don’t have to rush away. We give them the reassurance that home is here and that they can be home, come home. But we smile knowing that as each day gets closer, the girls are starting to flap their wings and test the skies... we might get lucky and they come back, but we both know that life is waiting for them and they are destined for amazing futures - where ever that takes them.
If they don’t come back for us, we think they’ll be back for Bradley. They each have special bonds with their brother, blood ties count for sure - but the connections created with Bradley go beyond blood ties. I want to believe that love will find space in whatever lives the girls lead, and love always counts the most. Knowing how hard this is going to be on Bradley (let alone Dad and I) as they drive off to their tomorrows, it makes each day with them a little more poignant, each babysitting opportunity that they get to spend with just Bradley, more precious. They don’t see it right now, but Dad and I, we see it and we feel it, and these are the memories we store for those fast approaching tomorrows.
And then I closed my eyes and when I opened them again, my oldest is driving my second child to school with her. Watching them drive off was so hard, letting them go and knowing that life changed completely and there is no going back. They are teens, so close to the next step in their journey and their parents will be as much a part of their lives as they have time and patience for us. Because life marches on and we just keep stepping forward, sometimes sideways...sometimes a little bit back. But always life keeps marching on whether we want it to slow down or not.
And then there was the day that the girls left together, following behind the bus that took Bradley away too. All at once, the three of them were gone, not in the same vehicle, but all gone at the same time. And it gave me a lump in my throat and it left me standing on the sidewalk as I watched them all ride away, leaving me behind. And as hard as it was in that moment; it was as it is meant to be. The kids leave the nest and the parents are left to turn bedrooms into craft rooms, and remodel houses and somehow try to create a new life without the kids in it everyday. And we just worry about them. Our brains can only take so much stress and anxiety, so we get numb to it, and try to keep the Faith that all will be well, that all will work out somehow. And if things go awry, our phones will ring and we’ll do the best we can for these precious kids that carry our hearts outside of our bodies.
My kids are growing up but are still young enough that at the end of the day, they come home. And Eric and I know that Bradley will likely always be home with us, and that’s a good thing for us. Medically speaking, probably the best for him too. The girls sometimes say they are thinking of staying home; real life gets scary sometimes, and we smile and always tell them they don’t have to rush away. We give them the reassurance that home is here and that they can be home, come home. But we smile knowing that as each day gets closer, the girls are starting to flap their wings and test the skies... we might get lucky and they come back, but we both know that life is waiting for them and they are destined for amazing futures - where ever that takes them.
If they don’t come back for us, we think they’ll be back for Bradley. They each have special bonds with their brother, blood ties count for sure - but the connections created with Bradley go beyond blood ties. I want to believe that love will find space in whatever lives the girls lead, and love always counts the most. Knowing how hard this is going to be on Bradley (let alone Dad and I) as they drive off to their tomorrows, it makes each day with them a little more poignant, each babysitting opportunity that they get to spend with just Bradley, more precious. They don’t see it right now, but Dad and I, we see it and we feel it, and these are the memories we store for those fast approaching tomorrows.
Friday, October 12, 2018
The Importance of his Movie!
Bradley and I are hanging out this afternoon, I was trying to engage him in some play, but after a bit he kind of blew me off (fear not, this happens a lot so my feelings are still intact) and started watching his movie...that would be his word and sign for his IPad. So I am sitting here watching and listening to him as he moves from “Boss Baby,” to “Cars 3,” “Taio,” and “Mickey’s Twice Upon A Christmas.” Why am I listening? Today Bradley has decided to try to repeat every sound he hears.
From the music, to the exclamations, to the words...he is trying to repeat it all. And then he starts to respond before the characters do. I’m not sure which part I enjoy the most, his repetition of all the sounds or his responses, but my gosh - it couldn’t be cuter. And that’s a good thing because if you sat here with me, the way he watches his movie just might give you an eye twitch.
There has been so little in his life that he can control that once he gets his movie, he takes full control over its operation. From turning it all the way up and protesting when it gets turned down...to constant repetition of certain parts of movies, to replaying over and over the same episode. Perfect example, I thought “Taio” was a movie not a series, he only watches the episode with Bong-Bong. And I am really, really trying hard to not dislike, potentially start to hate Bong-Bong.
My favorites are still “The Wiggles” new ones, old ones, it doesn’t matter, Bradley goes back to them and when he does, he loves to mimic their dance moves. His anticipation of them and his copying is funny and sweet. His attention to the details is encouraging too. I love to see how his brain is trying to work through the processes and how his mind is preparing for what comes next. Often, I know that he is getting more feedback from the listening than the watching because his preferred method of watching is by lining up his Magna-tiles to watch through them, or his legos...and he can’t see through those. But he still will interact with the sounds from the movie, anticipating and copying what he hears. We have yet to figure out why he does any of this, nor have we figured out why he has a need to toss blocks and tiles. He doesn’t just set them down if he doesn’t want them; rather, he feels like they have to be flung far and wide or they aren’t disposed of properly.
Some days are just frustrating, so it’s imperative that we see the thought process trying to reason out details and plans coming from his brain (even the bad plans) so that we feel a wee bit better about the frustration that he feels and that we feel as his stubborn streak butts heads with our requirements for clean up and listening. But he keeps working on these and we keep working with him - that one of us is incredibly loud in his protests can be difficult, but we keep pushing through anyhow.
Speaking of loud and clean up... now is the time for clean up and protest, so off I go to Supervise, push, prod, and make the little demon child follow through on clean up. Probably best that he isn’t completely verbal at this point, not sure I want to understand the words he is theoretically throwing my way right now. Sigh....
Until tomorrow!
From the music, to the exclamations, to the words...he is trying to repeat it all. And then he starts to respond before the characters do. I’m not sure which part I enjoy the most, his repetition of all the sounds or his responses, but my gosh - it couldn’t be cuter. And that’s a good thing because if you sat here with me, the way he watches his movie just might give you an eye twitch.
There has been so little in his life that he can control that once he gets his movie, he takes full control over its operation. From turning it all the way up and protesting when it gets turned down...to constant repetition of certain parts of movies, to replaying over and over the same episode. Perfect example, I thought “Taio” was a movie not a series, he only watches the episode with Bong-Bong. And I am really, really trying hard to not dislike, potentially start to hate Bong-Bong.
My favorites are still “The Wiggles” new ones, old ones, it doesn’t matter, Bradley goes back to them and when he does, he loves to mimic their dance moves. His anticipation of them and his copying is funny and sweet. His attention to the details is encouraging too. I love to see how his brain is trying to work through the processes and how his mind is preparing for what comes next. Often, I know that he is getting more feedback from the listening than the watching because his preferred method of watching is by lining up his Magna-tiles to watch through them, or his legos...and he can’t see through those. But he still will interact with the sounds from the movie, anticipating and copying what he hears. We have yet to figure out why he does any of this, nor have we figured out why he has a need to toss blocks and tiles. He doesn’t just set them down if he doesn’t want them; rather, he feels like they have to be flung far and wide or they aren’t disposed of properly.
Some days are just frustrating, so it’s imperative that we see the thought process trying to reason out details and plans coming from his brain (even the bad plans) so that we feel a wee bit better about the frustration that he feels and that we feel as his stubborn streak butts heads with our requirements for clean up and listening. But he keeps working on these and we keep working with him - that one of us is incredibly loud in his protests can be difficult, but we keep pushing through anyhow.
Speaking of loud and clean up... now is the time for clean up and protest, so off I go to Supervise, push, prod, and make the little demon child follow through on clean up. Probably best that he isn’t completely verbal at this point, not sure I want to understand the words he is theoretically throwing my way right now. Sigh....
Until tomorrow!
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