October 6, 2017
Sydney's Volleyball team lost today, putting them at 1-1. The loss sucked, as all losses do, but there was more to this loss that really has me. I've been trying to stay back and hold my tongue this whole time, but man it is hard and it just got harder.
In a school that doens't allow for parents to be coaches...there are a lot of parents being coaches. The Administration gets around this rule by making sure that there is someone employed by the school to be part of the coaching staff. Our Assistant Coach is great, she is loved by everybody at school and she's tough and kind, the kind of role model we want around our kids, especially our girls. The coach is parenting a girl that has some skill on the court and may be a great setter someday, she just can't seem to find the focus or desire to be competitive right now. I say that knowing she's a bit of a flighty girl, but also realizing that she has kind of given up on the team already because of her mother. Mom, has no volleyball experience. She won't listen to her daughter or any of the other girls who do have experience when they suggest things like: passing drills, setting drills, hitting drills, or serving drills. Her response is simple: scrimmage and let's see what you can do. Considering some of these girls have never played...it's difficult to see the new girls improving, and the ones with experience are shutting down and trying to stay engaged in a team that is not engaging them.
It doesn't help that practice is virtually over too. The girls were practicing on Tuesday and Thursday. But now the games are all on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so our girls are getting some practice time a bit before the other teams play and then they are done. When asked about changing practice dates so our girls could still get practice time, the answer was "No" because the Coach doesn't want to practice on the other days.
Yesterday, the girls had their first game. Coach put her starting team on the floor, warned the girls (team of 17) that there wouldn't be much subbing until she got the hang of it. Our girls won the first two games. As a general rule, if the set is completed in two, then a courtesy third game is played, that way the younger and/or less experienced players are given a chance to get some real game time play and experience. So that's what happened. In fact, the Coach asked the girls if anyone would sit down so that other girls could play and mine offered, but the rest of the team panicked, so she stayed in. She came out at the end of the second game though, once there was a nice lead and she didn't play in that third game at all.
We show up for today's game and the Coach sends the least experienced players out on the court and leaves the starters sitting on the bench against a team that we all know is pretty good. They lost the first game. In the second game, she put all the starters in...that one they won. She mixed it up a bit in the third and the girls fell to a heart breaking 12-15.
Watching the first game I looked at Eric and said, "Well, I'm guessing the Coach got a bunch of emails from a bunch of whining parents because their super stars didn't play." So they played and they lost. I talked to one of the parents who said that when the Coach came out she said she had gotten a lot of emails telling her that she was too competitive and upset their girls didn't get to play enough. I guess they didn't get to start. So... off they went to the starting line and we had to watch them struggle and lose.
So now, we aren't sure what the Heck. We already know that Sydney has very little chance of making the Freshman team at Cam High because of the Coach there and the fact that we don't pay for our girls to play at the Club he owns. Still; the lack of competition now, will hurt every one of the 8th grade girls that are hoping to make the Freshman team next year. The girls with experience were left to sit on the bench, wondering what they did wrong. They won the day before nad now they are benched. Worse, was the player that started to cry when she was subbed out of the first game because they were losing so badly. The girls kept the slide down from there because the coach was too busy trying to deal with a crying player. Meanwhile, my kid is sitting on the bench looking at the spectacle and thinking, "Crying, seriously? Grow up!"
I love this kid. I love her fighting spirit. I love that she wants to play every minute, but she's willing to sit down and let someone else play once the game is headed to a win. I love that she was the one to volunteer. I love that she is willing to lead that team; that when the coach is late, she gets the girls practicing drills and actually learning how to pass and set and move. It's awesome!
It's not the loss that bothers me. We're talking about Midle School Volleyball. We're talking about girls that are finally getting their first chance to play competitive Volleyball. And I am more than okay with a loss. But when the game is lost like this; in this way, and because of the Coach setting them up to fail...I get bothered. Right now I am wanting my daughter safe, and I am wanting her to stay injury free so that she can play Club ball and have the chance to compete and grow in her skills. It makes Middle School ball look dangerous now, and spirit crushing. But my Sydney is a fighter, and she will bite her tongue and keep at it as best she can out there, while her Dad and I will be sitting in the stands cheering for her, and watching.
We'll be there, because she's out there. But somehow the fun has been taken out of it and now we just want to get through the Season and move on. How incredibly sad for all of us. Something with such promise and fun, is now neither.
Bradley may have his struggles, and we may have to fight for him because he has an extra Chromosome, but his is not the only battle we fight. Right now, we're fighting for Sydney. And this is the toughest kind of battle, sitting in the trenches and not saying a word while we wait it out and see where it goes from here.
Happy Friday All!
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