Separated Halloween

October 30, 2017

Well, we knew this day was coming, and I have to admit it took a lot longer to get here than I thought, so for that we have been lucky.  I have to admit that I am surprised that it is happening at Halloween, but then really, what better day for it.  Suddenly, both girls have plans with friends for Halloween.  For the first time, they each have been invited to Halloween parties at their friend’s houses. I don’t know how we got this far where this hasn’t happened before, but it hasn’t because we’ve never said that there would be no Halloween parties, they just never worked out before.

Last year, Madison almost wsan’t with us because she was supposed to go to a party, but a girl who had been known to bully her showed up too, so Madison left.  It’s funny, I thought that that would be our last year of having Madison with us, I knew she wanted parties even as she talked about just staying home to hand out candy.  I knew she was coming to the end of enjoying walking around with Bradley and Sydney.

I wasn’t ready for Sydney.

This year Sydney is going to her friend’s for a party and trick or treating.  We’ll pick her up around 9, and just like that the whole world changes.  Eric and I will take Bradley alone for a few houses, but odds are good that without the girls, the crowds will overwhelm him completely and he won’t last out there for very long.  I am guessing an early return home for the three of us.

Considering I am not much for crowds, I am still finding this kind of sad.  My girls are growing up and moving on, just as they should be.  I think I expected one and then the other, nothing prepared me for both of them at once.  And granted, it’s not like they are moving out tomorrow, but the truth is, it won’t be long now.  Madison is a Junior next year, Sydney a Freshman.  And once one heads off to College, the other is a mere two years behind.  Eric and I will barely be recovering from the first one leaving before the second one takes off next.  And as hard as that will be for us, what will happen for Bradley?  Eric and I have always known that someday it would just be us and Bradley because the girls will move on and build their own lives away from us.  I know it will be difficult for me to let them go; but when I think about their brother, I know that he will have a hard time too.  At this point, I don’t know how much he will understand and worse, how much he will remember of them.

Yesterday, he spent almost an hour in Madison’s room playing with her.  She was making him laugh from the belly, full laughs that make a listener just smile and giggle as well.   And I can’t help but wonder if the memory of that, of those special  moments, will be mine, and Dads’s and hers.  And if in fact the girls head out into the world right after High School, how much will they interact with Bradley and how drastically will that change their relationships, and how much will he remember them?

Maybe I’ll get lucky and they’ll stay close, maybe they will surprise me and miss him, maybe they’ll work hard to create a life that includes their brother because they want that, because they see that he needs it and wants it too.  Maybe despite the fighting that they do with each other, they will want to keep this family, long after the pathways are spread as life continues to live and grow as it is meant.

Either way, tomorrow is our first separately celebrated Halloween.  It will be exceedingly strange; fitting for Halloween, but I certainly hope that my kiddos will each enjoy their night and come home having had as much fun as possible and definitely safe and sound.

Sometimes Bradley isn’t truly the Challenge.  Sometimes just living this life as these kids grow beyond being kids, that’s just as big a challenge for sure.

Closing out the 30th Blog in this 31 For 21 Challenge for Acceptance and Awareness for Down syndrome!  Happy Monday to all, and to all a good night!