In our life with Bradley, we have had our ups and downs - and not always due to medical stuff. Bradley’s, Dad’s, even Sydney’s. Those three have had their part in the medical drama that we call our life. On top of that there has been the offshoots of living. Sure it was because of Bradley’s medical needs, but when we moved to Ventura County, he was fragile enough medically that I drove to San Diego for six months, multiple times a week for his medical care. Trying to get established in a new place with a medically fragile baby took some work; but we finally did, we had too. The cost of the traveling was taking a toll on our ability to pay the bills and make ends stretch to form a bare touch. Then the government went on Furlough, so Eric lost a days pay every week, a 20% cut in our single paycheck for our family. Outside help kept us afloat...that and the girls loved the dollar Yakisoba from the Commissary, Hallelujah!
Charity was a new and strange thing for us. Bradley’s formula needs were so particular we were looking at a formula that would cost us $820 a month if Tri-Care approved it. We couldn’t understand why it wouldn’t be covered, until the doc that kept saying no explained that we would have a twenty percent co-pay that would have us paying that $820 each month. So we had to wait for other insurance means to pick up - that would be Medi-Cal, but it was in the distance...so far.
So we had to go and apply for WIC. We were able to get ten days worth of formula for Bradley, and they would get another week when it came in, and we could get that until Medi-Cal kicked in. But they also gave us vouchers for milk and vegetables and fruits....we tried to decline pointing out that though he was close to a year, he was nowhere near capable of eating or having any of those things. But the clerk was so kind, she glanced at our paperwork and told us to take the vouchers, Bradley’s sisters would eat the food. So that helped. We had a non-profit group of doctors and lawyers donate a full two months worth of his formula for him, thanks to his Regional Center Rep reaching out to them. And oddly enough, we were given a month’s worth from the ENT that took care of the girls...a different one than Bradley’s.
These are just a few examples of how we have been cared for along our way. Even in the midst of the toughest times; when the strings didn’t tie, we tightened our belts a bit and went without a little more to make sure the kids never did. And always they ate, there was a roof over their heads and we kept them safe.
And then Bradley turned three and his Regional Center Rep gave me a phone number and told me I was to call right away and leave my name and number. That phone call started a journey that put me back into employment as the Care Provider for Bradley. The state pays me to care for him so that they don’t have to provide him a nurse, or any special facilities to keep him safe and help him thrive. That’s always been my job, so it has been weird for someone to pay me to do it; but the truth is, working outside the home with his needs is not possible. So there it is, my son is my boss. And some times he is the BEST boss, and some days...boy oh boy...he likes to push me as far as possible. Course, I can put my boss in a timeout, who else can do that?
In the end, my working helped us alleviate the pressure. We saved, we paid off bills, and eventually bought a house. Time’s got better, and for that I am grateful. Because of how hard it was, we truly appreciate how much better it is, breathing is easier. And because of how hard it was, we try to give back as much as possible.
When we have an overflow of Pediasure because Bradley needs something different when he is sick: we donate it to his GI, who can make sure needy families have enough for their babies. Things like that we pass on what we can when there is a need. During the fires, we try to provide assistance with items that are not glamorous, but are necessities. And every opportunity that comes our way to be of service in the community, we try to take part.
It’s been more of a priority lately because the High School wants their student athletes to be active Community service members. So my girls have helped with a New England BBQ for the Scottish Rites over summer; and a couple weeks ago, they volunteered at the Heart walk. Madison even donned the heart mascot costume and managed to make so many laugh and smile. The girls came home from both events smiling, and full of light. This morning, the three of us went to Ventura Harbor (so beautiful) and helped with the Strides For Breast Cancer event. We had planned to stay the day, but had to leave to get the back for them to run to a last minute practice for volleyball. They play Monday and Wednesday and then their season is over, just like that. Where did the time go?
But despite the shortened day, they had so much fun. Met so many people, helped set the event up and then walked through the crowd, stopping to offer to get group shots of people, then helping to keep the fruit and water table stocked as folks were getting ready to walk. When we left, Sydney told their coach they were coming but would be late, and then told me that she read a text from a teammate that she wouldn’t be there because she had just woke up...to which Sydney said: “We’re going to be there a little late, but at least we were doing something that is good for our souls.”
And my heart smiled. I tell them every time we go do something to volunteer that it’s good for their souls and that always makes it worth it. Imagine my joy hearing her repeat what I tell them, unprompted and from her own beliefs. I feel like our rough start after Eric’s retirement from the Navy has brought us full circle. We kept pushing and praying and never quitting, and now we can take the time from our better life and better days to be there for others, and it feels so rewarding. Next week, we are going to help with the Relay for Life. As my mom is now fighting cancer, for the fights both Eric and I had, this one means as much to us as the Heart walk. And the girls are so excited to go, and I am so thrilled to be doing this with them, making these special memories that are strictly part of heart and soul, I will cherish this time with them for always....I hope they take these moments with them for always too, and never forget to complete the circle and give someone a hand when they can, knowing that someday someone may reach out to help them up. It’s so good for the soul!
It was never promised it would be easy, but it was promised that it would be worth it. And indeed, it is. Happy Saturday Friends! Another day in the 31 For 21 Blog Challenge. Accepting that when Bradley came to us, he brought so much love. Blessings on you all!
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