We always laugh about how there are certain people that Bradley will do just about anything for. for example, he is most likely to mimic things like phone conversations and sounds with Sydney. He will mimic dancing and active play when he is with Madison. He is also about equal in being willing to sit and snuggle either one, but he just spends most of his day without them; so sometimes, he just needs those moments. Often lately, I’ve been thinking that his brain has processed that by agreeing to give them what they are asking from him, he will comply and extend the length of time that he spends with them. He doesn’t always want to comply, because there are times he just wants to be left alone or be allowed to interact in the way he wants. Sometimes we all want a little bit of control over what is happening around us, he is no exception.
Anyway, Dad can usually get him to work on his alphabet and numbers...I can too, but I have to work a lot harder to pry them out of him. As the Mom and Dad, we can usually coax or pressure compliance when he is not willing to follow along. But for the most part, we can work him around to transition for us with relative ease. Not in the morning though, kid is anti-morning...if I weren’t afraid it would stunt his growth and/or burn his tummy through the g-tube I would bolus coffee to see if that would help. And sleeping or not sleeping at night doesn’t seem to change much for him either way, he can sleep at night and still not want to wake up, and he can not sleep at night and still not want to wake up. And then, there are the mornings that he wakes up on his own and he is ready to conquer the whole world. But those are always wretchedly early in the morning and we just never want to talk about those. But I digress.
Bradley will comply at school, he will follow along with what is asked of him...and then some days he just refuses to listen to them or us or even his sisters. When he goes to therapy, he is mostly willing to do what they want him to do, mostly. But they are really starting to figure him out and work around his struggles and get him through the non-compliance pretty well.
Here’s the thing though, turns out that every little boy in Bradley’s class; especially Bradley, is fascinated when they bring in a male aide to help in the classroom. The teacher and the regular aides just laugh and shake their heads whenever they have one of the male aides in the classroom for the day, all because the students are willing to do whatever the male aide asks of them.
So here’s my plea and my hope. I am hoping that more young men will choose to go into Special Education. For the same reason that male teachers are so important for Elementary school students, and Junior High School... young boys need to see other men taking on the role of teacher and mentor. And our kiddos with special needs are even more in need of being able to look up to a male teacher, aide or mentor. Bradley’s daddy is his hero and he loves him more than anything; for him, to have a male to look up to at school would sure help him in so many ways. Bradley is interested in a male role model other than his dad; he wouldn’t suddenly be perfect at school, but he would be fascinated by a new friend for a little while, and then I hope that he would want to keep learning from him. Or maybe, given the way I believe Bradley chooses to extend his time with his sisters, he might choose to work hard and extend his time with his new friend.
Unlocking the mind of this precious little boy is a constant walk through a very elaborate and complicated maze. Our toolbox is constantly being refilled with different tools to use in order to find a key to try to understand the parts that make up him and help him grow into the person he is meant to become. And if a male mentor at school can help with that, then I sure wish there were more men working in this field and helping Bradley and his friends wanting to learn and willing to learn a little more everyday. Every lock has a key, and for Bradley, this seems to be a recurring key for him.
Happy Friday All! Another day in the 31 For 21 Blog Challenge. It’s the little things that sometimes are the biggest things of all.
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