Sweet Dreams

Now we lay him down to sleep, and hope that through the night he will sleep.  We pray that we are given yet another day: to laugh, to love, and to teach him how to play.  And in the morning when he rises, may he embrace the day, and all that comes, knowing that mom and dad are truly on his side.  For all the things that happen in his day, we can only pray that we are there for the tough stuff, the days that don’t go so well, and that somehow our presence will make the moments better.  We pray that on the better days, that he sparkles from the light that shines from deep within him and that those are the lights that carry him along through each day.

Small moments, and large, truly doesn’t matter; each moment is part of the bigger picture that makes his life.  The friends that he plays with at recess, the three other kids that have Down syndrome that gravitate to each other and the language that the four share during their interactions before they play.  The teachers that he sees daily, therapists that spend three days a week with him, and the doctors - all the doctors that see him.  Good days and his worst days, the doctors that keep him healthy and return him to better health.  All parts of the whole that help to mold the days of his life into the world that he lives in.

He’s sleeping now and we’re watching the news of the fires burning in So. Cal again and we watch and wait and have to decide how bad the air quality is going to be, how dangerous the winds before we determine if he is able to go to school tomorrow.  And going to school means the bus, which he loves, but the winds are so bad his respiratory health requires him to stay indoors, which he hates - a day of unbalance already.  A day of frustration as he just doesn’t understand why he can’t go outside and play.  Frustration that he has little ability to control his emotions or maintain his calm.  A litany of “nice hands” following him all over school trying to help him contain his anger and his sadness so he doesn’t hit or pinch his friends or his teachers or himself.  Frustrating for all of us really.

But at the end of the day, the good and the bad, it all blends together into the the little ball of energy, piss and vinegar, sugar and spice, that makes up the little boy that wraps us around his little finger and embeds himself deep into our hearts and souls.  Life is challenging with him.  Life is challenging with the girls.  Life is frustrating with all three sometimes.  Life is better because he is in it.  Life is better because we have the girls.  Life is life, and all the positives and negatives we have with him, we have with the girls...that’s just living.  And in the end, how you are living is everything.  And we are living every day as a day to be loving, and Bradley makes that part so easy.

And angels watch him through the night until he wakes to morning light... did you hear that Bradley? Morning light!  Come on buddy, we can do this night time sleep thing, I believe that you and I can experience the miracle of a full night’s sleep, we just have to believe in each other and the beauty of sleep!

I was going to blog about something else entirely, until I looked over and saw how he fell asleep tonight, then I was struck again by how sweet he is when he is sleeping.  ;-).  And how much I love this kid all the time.

Have a wonderful night friends.  A reminder in the 31 For 21 Challenge, love wins at the end of the day, always.