Day 8 - October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month!

Day 8!  Awareness in October because Love is a Gift!

The girls worry about what will happen when Bradley starts school.  One worries if he'll be okay there, one worries if he'll have friends.  I worry about both.  We have hopes that he will be part of an inclusive program, and though we try not to put those big expectations out there, we both hope he will be completely included.  Why not?  He's our son and we want him to reach as high as he can into this world and take all he can from it to be the person he is supposed to be.  If I put limitations on him now, when would it stop?  At what point then would I suddenly back off take a look and say, whoa, hold on...we need to stop limiting him now.  His health has been fragile at best, and let's be honest, that is limitation enough.  He hasn't been able to play with other kiddos like he should, or rather kids his age.  He plays with his sisters all the time.  But let's look at that too...his idea of play is rather imperial in approach.  He will watch them play for a little while; then he will approach, take a hand and tug them to come do his bidding.  After all, he is the baby and this IS his kingdom isn't it?  This approach was nothing different between what the girls had, why on earth would it be different with him?  That's our approach...why would it be any different from them? 

When Bradley does something amazing, we grab a camera.  When he tries to bite, we reprimand.  When he needs to be told "No" he cries because he believes that he should never be told "No".  When he hurts, we cuddle and we soothe.  There is nothing that we do different with him that we didn't do with his sisters.  He is a toddler - he wants his independence desperately, and in the next breath he wants to be attached to someones hip; yep, he's almost 3 years old. 

Our dreams for Bradley grow bigger everyday because we refuse to allow them to be small.  We can never predict what he will do with his life unless we cave to the belief that there is very little he can do IN this life.   Perhaps my son will never play Major League Baseball, or play for the NFL - but then there really aren't a lot of sons that are out there that get the chance to do that anyway.  In reality, the ones that do are the ones that are different.  It's okay to be different, your differences are the things that mark you with Greatness.  I encourage my daughters to embrace their differences and be grateful they have them.  When one is feeling jealous of the other I encourage them to see the truth in their jealousy as something they feel is lacking inside themselves...once we do that, I can lead them to the truth that what they feel is lacking is nothing compared to the true greatness that is waiting inside for them.  Perhaps if they can be compassionate towards themselves then they will learn to be accepting of themselves and that will lead them to true happiness.  What parent is not truly hoping for such an outcome?  I have three kids, I will lead all three to this and hope that at the end of the day, they will know true happiness.  There is more pressure now, extreme pressure to not let the girls feel my desire to encourage their strength and brilliance...true pressure to make sure I push Bradley without knocking him down in order to open the doors I can in order to make him ready to open the ones coming on his own. 

It takes  a while to get here, to this point, this feeling that it's okay that one of our kids has an extra chromosome.  You have to have Faith, in your God - your Belief in life - yes, this is a must...but just as much, you have to have Faith that you can be more than you thought you would be.  I was just a Mom, looking for a way to be better, to bring more into this family.  Now I am a Mom, forging a way through the darkness, looking for the lights of others that help guide and using my light to help others on the way.  There is a moment when it will feel okay to be on this journey.  But everyone comes to this moment in their own time and you have to fight to stay here.  But every moment with Bradley enforces a very strong bond of love that has built around this family and holds us all together!  Good luck on your journey!  Behind or before, we are out here and willing to share our light when you need it.