Happy Halloween!!!
This was a big year for us. I know, every year since having our first child has been a big year for us each Halloween. We didn't do anything but hand out candy until Madison was three, but we suddenly cared a whole lot about this tradition of handing out candies to little kids. Each year it was the mark of where each kid had developed: the year where Madison wouldn't say anything, to the year she started saying "Trick or Treat". The year when suddenly Sydney was able to say "Trick or Treat!" and was willing to walk up to the door with one of us, then alone. Like last year, when there was no hesitation, but there was a lot of trying to keep up on Sydney's part and Madison was trying to leave her far behind. I had to reign her in and keep her with her sister; well, until the guy jumped out in a mask and scared Madison so bad she wouldn't leave my side, let alone her sister's...and well - Sydney wouldn't walk up to a door without me after that. Thanks a lot! And No! I didn't laugh all THAT hard, I am great at laughing in my head and not letting the girls see me laughing! Okay, that's a lie. I was laughing my butt off as I comforted them, then regaled the joys of the fun scares that Halloween brings. I am sure, HAD Eric been able to stop laughing, he would have also done this for them...but well, now you know why they wouldn't let go of me. :-) HAHA.
Last year was the first year that we split off. Eric took Bradley home early. Despite the blankets wrapping him up nice and tight, the cold air irritated his nose and face, and Bradley has never been happy about being cold on his face - ever! In Japan, he wouldn't make a fuss when I picked up the girls from school - until the cold, snowy air penetrated the layers of warmth around him and got his face cold, and then that was it! Anyway, Eric took him home while I walked the girls around a few more streets and let them milk the last drop of candy from the neighborhoods.
This year, the girls ran in unison from door to door, I didn't have to reign Madison in - I had to reign them both in so I didn't get left behind. Bradley started in the stroller, then we let him loose! And yes, he did the typical stuff: he ran everywhere but where we wanted him to go, he couldn't see the steps clearly so he crab walked some, and he wouldn't even consider carrying his bucket. But that's the thing isn't it: he did everything the same way the girls did it when they were just going trick or treating for the first time. And in the moment you were prepared to be frustrated, it hit you, he's just being a typical two year old kid! The only thing extra about Bradley tonight was the extra amount of cute he was exuding in his costume. And the great thing, the girls had the same extra going in their costumes. For at least one night, we were a family with three kids going trick or treating. A older sister that decided not to be scared and she bravely walked up to take a candy from the scary, masked man. She looked at him and said, "I know you're real!" Then she reached in for the candy, he jumped, she screamed, and they both laughed. Sydney would not go near him; not even with me holding her hand. So he was kind enough to hand her a piece of candy from the bowl. So Madison conquered that thing that held her back before and wouldn't let her enjoy the fun of the Halloween scare - she relaxed and jumped, or screamed, and then she laughed. Sydney is the one that recognized the scare for what it is, someone trying to scare her and she was not a fan or willing to take part. She hesitated at the darker houses and even her love of candy was not always enough to send her up the path. Madison needed to learn to relax and laugh at make believe scares of Halloween. Sydney needed to strengthen her self-preservation and her self-confidence. And they both needed to laugh! Oh how wonderful it was to hear them laughing.
As for Bradley, he just needed to know that he could be out there with all those other kids. He needs to get used to holding a hand and walking with his sisters or us. And he wasn't great at the hand holding for the most part, but he would take Sydney's hand and occasionally he would hold Madison's...but mostly, it was Sydney's. I think the fact she is closer to his size makes Bradley a little more inclined to always turn to her. Did he ever slow them down? Oh yeah. But did they complain? Actually, and surprisingly...No. They never did. The few times I asked them to wait for him, they both stopped, or came to him, and they went with him to the door. Bradley didn't say "Trick or Treat" so one of the girls would say it for him, and when we said, "Say thank you" he would try the sign but a bit overwhelmed, he sometimes would just wave. :-)
We started and ended the night together, and it was a little low on candy tonight. The High School kids and the Middle School kids came out early and they raided all the houses and the bowls left out so that there was no candy left for any other kids. It was strange and it was sad. I feel like the time is coming that there will continue to be fewer and fewer houses giving candy out each year, and what a shame that would be. The girls were excited to go get candy but they were crazy with wanting to hand out candy. Like the Pied Piper they led kids to our door to claim our candy before we could even get our door opened. Just as they fought over whose turn it was to ring the bell at the houses, they fought over whose turn it was to give candy. But that's all right, the moment that they start working together, Eric and I are moving out and taking Bradley far away where we'll be safe. We have an Emergency Plan.
So aside from Halloween, today was the last day of the 31 for 21 Challenge! It wasn't a big day for the girls. It wasn't that big for Bradley. But it was the last day of one of the most important Challenges I have ever taken part in. I wasn't sure I would be able to carve out the time or that I would be able to come up with 31 topics that I could write about for 31 days. I could have chosen 31 stories about Bradley - our journey with Bradley is one of those that could easily have dominated this blog for 31 days. I hit some of the more emotional moments in our life with him, I hit on some of the most harrowing moments in our life, and then I hit on that which makes this journey one worth taking. My sweet girls are the ones that keep this family moving in the right direction. If I don't see the greatness in my son - they show me. If I don't see the greatness in one of my girls - Bradley shows me. I should not be allowed to lose sight of the magnificence within each of my children; and before I began this Challenge, I worried that I did. I would get lost in the survival of each moment, and I do mean survival. It should never be that way, but in our house it has been. There are days where we've simply tried to survive. But here's the thing, that's not good enough. My Children are three truly amazing and exceptional individuals and they deserve to be seen for who they are everyday. I endeavor every day to try to deserve them, to be the mom they believed I could be and the reason they chose me. I wanted to bring into the spotlight Down syndrome, I wanted to introduce my son as the amazing little person that he is, and I wanted the world to know that it's okay to have a child with Down syndrome. I wanted to let someone who gets a prenatal diagnosis, to have a chance to learn about the life of a family that has a child who is medically fragile, who has an extra chromosome and yet through all that, in spite of all that - he is incredible and he is a valued member of our family. He is a necessary part of our family. So I didn't stay on just a Down syndrome topic throughout all 31 days. I decided from the start that the only way to let someone else know that it is okay to have this life, was to share the joy of how this life needs all three of these kids. The incredible kids that make this family work, the reasons we get up each day, the reasons we still laugh, the reasons that we know it's okay to cry - these three kids are the reasons for fighting each day to make every tomorrow a better one.
My heart is carried around inside my three children and my husband. I divide myself into loving them all with all I have. That can leave me weak - good night - you should see me blubber at some of those youtube videos...and well, commercials! UGH! Embarassing, but true. The results may suck, but the intent is good and it's important. Tonight is the last night of this challenge. I don't know if I'll write as often, but I may just check back in - the month may be over but the journey with these adventurers I call my children will not end. Just like the geese that land in the field every now and again to surprise us, ours is a small family that will keep on going, and there will be surprises. And we will know joy and sadness, but together we will survive all of it!
Happy Halloween! Safe night and good night to you all!
No comments:
Post a Comment