Day Six
Last weekend, Sydney went to the tryouts for the Club she played for last year, but this time, she went as a helper for the Coaches, not a player. Standing on the other side of the line, she stood with coaches and helped them evaluate players as the girls ran through drills. I asked her if it was weird. Her response was, "Very Weird Mom".
There have been a lot of reasons why we haven’t gone to watch and support the High School team this year. The politics and nonsense involved were only part of the reason, our kiddo playing JV ball for her college was another. But tonight, we got to feel a little of what Sydney felt on Saturday. A family of dear friends of ours have a High School Senior this year, so we went to her Senior night to show her some love and support. And we stood on the other side of the line.
As we sat in the stands and watched them celebrate the seniors, there was definitely a detachment I wasn’t expecting. Maybe because it wasn’t my kid’s school, it was easier for me to not feel that blur of my senses as my memories tried to see my players instead of the ones before me. I didn’t feel overly emotional at the game either, maybe because our friends aren't overly emotional people. But I also wasn't feeling the stress or the excitement that I have felt in the past. I told my friend, "I miss watching my girls play, but don't miss the stress of watching my girls play - or the politics that make up a season, I don't miss that at all!"
But now, now I’ve got a whole mess of memories. I’ve got Facebook memories showing me Senior night a year ago. And I've had memories pop up from Senior night two years ago...And though I can't completely sift through their whole seasons in my mind, I can remember all the fight, the struggles, the victories - And in my head, I just see my girls. I see my daughters standing side by side for the National Anthem the first game they played Varsity together and I laugh at how just that alone made me tear up then, and still does. The moments they were on the floor together were few as they usually swapped out for each other, but I still see them. The heart will hold some memories as clear as day, forever.
They each had to travel very different paths to Madison's Senior night, and they really couldn't have been more different. And by the time it was Sydney's Senior night, Madison was well on her way down a completely different road. But then that's kind of how life goes isn't it? Each of us has a path that we must travel and even if you marry and have a lifelong partner, you traveled on your own to that moment when your paths collided into one. All the struggles along the way are there to make you who you are meant to be. In my kids, I see how uniquely each handles the negatives in life. It's not that life was the volleyball court, but it sure revolved around it for quite a few years and the things learned on the court and especially on the bench, are the life lessons that will carry them through their every tomorrow. Teammates come and go, some you're sad to see leave and some your relieved, life gives you the same, the difference being, sometimes the endings are not as clear as the end of a season. Sometimes, people just quietly fade away and you didn't realize your last good-bye was actually your last good-bye.
I'm not sure Bradley will have a Senior night of any kind. I can barely comprehend that he'll have an 8th grade promotion of some sort next year and will then become a Freshman in High School the year after that. And again, his journey will prove to be vastly different from both his sisters, with as many if not a large amount more of the struggles the girls had to slog through...in that sense, High School will be the same - slogging through. But I can only hope that his world will keep expanding and that he will have some of the same experiences as the girls. I want him to experience life, and I would love for him to have friends that he acknowledges as his. I want him to tell me "This is my friend" in any way it is that he wants to share that with me. And I want him to get strong enough to shoot a basket so that maybe someday he will play basketball with his friend. Those are the kind of senior night moments that I would love to see for him. Those are the memories I hope he makes so that I can store them away in my heart forever, sitting there next to the ones of the first time each of my kids' said "Momma", and "I love you".
Always take the time to BE in the moment for a few seconds and store the memories away for later. Videos are great, but BEING there, can never be replaced. Hold onto those 'senior night type' moments, they don't last very long at all.
31For21 Blog Challenge for Down Syndrome Awareness and Acceptance.
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