Thursday, October 27, 2016

General? Special? Just Learn!


Day 27: Blogging in the 31 For 21 Challenge For Down Syndrome Awareness

Bradley has spent his third day “blending” into another classroom, so far so good.  It’s not like he is going into a regular day class or going for a long time.  He goes into a Special Day Class and he goes twice a week for a full fifteen minutes each time.  On his IEP I think it gives him a whopping 1% of the time in blending. 

I have spent most of my energy with the medical side of Bradley’s life, that’s not to say that I don’t work on the scholastic side of things with him, more like I rarely give the school side of things too much of my attention when it comes to Inclusion or Blending.  Bradley spent the first few years of his “Schooling” at the house in a home medical program because every time he went out he would get sick and every time he got sick it was drastic.  But he started getting stronger and because his Pediatrician in San Diego was a retired Fighter Pilot, he was like: let’s send him and see how he does.  As I never once doubted this man, I said: “Okay…let’s do it” with a lot more bravado than I felt.  But I also never wanted him to see my cowardly side, so there you go, we slowly integrated Bradley into a school setting.  At first he went after everyone went home, and of course loved it there.  I mean who wouldn’t, it was the coolest pre-school classroom and it made me strongly consider returning to my own pre-school days – I mean, being a pre-school teacher, yeah, that’s what I meant.  And here’s irony for you, in a classroom where the kids were compromised in some way, with really strict dietary needs…this class had these amazing teachers and parents that threw the BEST parties with the BEST food!!!  ;-)  A whole new take on school parties.  All lovely people, the teachers and the parents.  We were thrilled to have this be our start. 

Speed ahead to where we are now, Bradley is in his second year of organized schooling and he’s doing so very well.  He is in a special Ed classroom where they know how to take care of his G-Tube and are trained to handle his seizures.  I can remember when I was a kid, we had a boy in our class who would have seizures (awful for him), and a boy that suffered asthma and they weren’t separated from the rest of us, so I figure his seizures shouldn’t be a hold back for him.  The G-tube, I always wonder where that would leave him at school.  Will he always have to be in a Special Ed classroom where they can take care of his G-tube, or would he be able to be in a regular classroom where someone could still take care of it if and be trained for seizures?  And then you have the issue of the potty training.  His GI Issues make his potty training a nightmare, and I have to wonder if he could ever be in a regular classroom until he is without diapers.  Oh and his speech, or lack thereof…where does that leave us?  How prepared is a classroom to take a non-verbal child? 

So with all that, I don’t spend too much time thinking about whether we should be pushing Bradley into general ed, but I do spend a considerable amount of time wondering whether or not I should be thinking about this stuff.  You can’t spend too much time on Facebook and other websites without running across all the parents that are out there that are fighting to get their kids into general ed.  How integration is the key, how anything less is unacceptable.  And I admit that I avoid most of that right now.  You see, you get sucked in pretty quickly when you read all that.  You start to think you aren’t measuring up to everyone else, that somehow by Bradley not being included and in a regular ed classroom that we are failing him.  But that runs right back into comparing your child to another.  How the Hell are you going to try to compare a child with Down Syndrome with all of his Medical issues to another child with Down Syndrome who hasn’t any of the medical issues that he has had? 

It’s simple really, you can’t.  You have to force yourself to stop the comparisons in your head.   Some kids are going to be able to do it and some are not.  I think that the truth is simply this: Bradley is going to fall somewhere in the middle.  He isn’t going to fall through the cracks because we will not allow that.  As for his education, we are starting with this short time in a Blended classroom to see if he can handle leaving a place he knows, to go into a new place with a new teacher, and would he do well in there, and would he listen to a new teacher?  Lots of questions to answer in one little fifteen minute classroom session, but answer we must.  The only ones that thought he could do it were his Dad and I, his teacher in his current classroom, and his Speech Therapist.  The Bureaucrats that sit on these IEP meetings, they smiled at me and nodded and fully expected him to fail. 

And that’s the thing, they expect him to fail – the ones that live on Team Bradley, we all expect that he is going to not just succeed, but blow it away.  We have complete Faith in our little guy, whichever path he takes, wherever his path leads in a General Ed, or out.  At this point, we aren’t all that concerned with where he spends his days at school so much as making sure that we plant the seeds so that should he be moving into a different orbit later, we won’t look back on this time and wonder why we didn’t do more to prepare him.  I have plenty of doubts, so I don’t need to add to them. 

To those that are sending your kids with special needs to general ed classrooms, we admire you and while we wish our kid could do that, we know that today is not the day.  So please, don’t judge me for not having my son there, I have him where he is safe and learning and growing.  Keeping him where he is at is not a step back for the Special Needs community and integration.  Keeping him where he is, is the only plausible step down any road he ventures to tomorrow.  We will keep working on the alphabet and speech, and someday he will be reading and writing his name.  He will be able to do all the things that he needs to do in his life to be happy and contribute in positive ways to society, with or without general ed. 

On the days where life overwhelms me and the constant push gets the better of me, I will take some time to wonder who and where he would be if he hadn’t had all the issues he does and could have been integrated at Kindergarten.  I’ll wonder if I would be one of those parents jumping on those Facebook pages and giving the great news about how awesome my kid is doing, or how the next fight to modify homework is going...how integration works and my kid is paving the way.  But I’m not that parent, and that’s not my sweet boy, might never be, and in the end that’s okay.  When it comes down to standing in the road and trying to choose the right path out of the myriad of choices laid out before us, all that matters is that Bradley is here, is healthy, is happy and is living a good life.   He needs to be proud of himself and know that every day he has lived the kind of life that allows him to look at himself in the mirror and meet his own eyes, because he is a good person.   I tell his sisters the same thing, at the end of the day you have to meet your own eyes and know you’ve done your best.  What class you are in in school: Special, General, None…none of that matters at the end of the day.  How you treat yourself and others, how you show respect to yourself and others, that will help you gauge your self-worth.  Don’t let it be from someone else’s opinion.   Their mom takes this advice too, and I leave those sites and those sometimes harsh postings when they make me doubt myself more than I already do.  Every day we have to do the best we can to make the lives of all three of these kids work, and make their growth into adults successful.  But especially for Bradley, we have to take what has been given and nurture that into what will bloom tomorrow before we can make each planned step count.   And we definitely make each planned step count for all we can. 

I am proud of my three kids.  I am proud of my son.  What he has battled through and how he has come out as amazing as he is…yeah, he’s more than something special.  I want him to have the best life he can have, where ever he needs to plant his roots to do it.  In, out or around Special Ed! 

Have a great Thursday night! 

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