Day 6: Blogging to bring Awareness and Acceptance of Down Syndrome in the 31 for 21 Challenge.
So Bradley has these two sisters. I may have mentioned them before. One tries to mother him which he likes to an
extent but then he gets tired of that really quick. She is also his partner in all things loud
and crazy, they are rough and tumble with each other and both are addicted to
electronics, in many ways a match made in heaven. But hers is a story I will share another
day. Today I am delving into that middle
sister, that cream in the middle of the oreo that holds this family together.
At twelve years old, she has the world in the palm of her
hands and doesn’t even realize it. I was
looking at her this morning and it occurred to me that had we met in Seventh
grade, we might have been friends. She
would have been pulled to me because I was a loner and extremely shy, she would
have attempted to befriend me to unlock the person inside I was afraid to share
with the world. I know this because of
the way she talks about kids at school.
Like one of those beautiful flowers in the garden, my daughter stands
still and the birds, the butterflies and the bees all come to flutter around
her. Somehow, she manages to juggle all
the different personalities that are drawn to her, and mostly with great
success. She plays the French Horn with
more than a little bit of talent, and she picked up the Violin this summer
without trouble and has been progressing pretty quickly. Too bad her mom has no idea how to help her
re-string her A… Ugh…. She’s been playing Volleyball for a few years
now, and this year her School decided to add Girls Volleyball to their sports
program. Of the 12 roster team, only
four have ever played before and only three can really play the game. The others are new and just learning. It has made for an interesting and difficult
year. Their first practice was the
morning after their first loss. It has
been rushed and crazy, but the girls are happy to play. Turns out, somehow mine is one of the three
that can actually play, and the moment she clears the roadblock in her head
about her serve and starts serving consistently, she might be almost as good as
the only eighth grader. But for today,
her weakness is serving.
When we moved back to the area, she made herself sick with
worry about her first day of school. But
when she walked in the first day, a voice from behind her called her name, she
turned and some of the boys that had been in her class in second and third
grade came running and hugged her they were so happy to see her. These are her core friends, they are the ones
that are really smart, there’s one that has asthma and they bond over that, and
then there are the ones that bond with her over band. And honestly, to some, she makes band look
cool and fun. She doesn’t care if others
don’t feel the same, for her it is fun and exciting, and cool. And others see and respect that in her.
She finds B’s an offense, and every missed serve a personal
attack. We have had to work very hard to
learn that B’s are okay because the kind of stress meltdown we get from them is
not. I never thought I would give my kid a lecture about
accepting less than an A and being okay with it. I thought it would be one of those, “You
better work harder and bring that back up” lectures. Um, nope, not this kid. I was going to bow out of the state testing
last spring, but both girls wanted to do them to be able to go to the school BBQ
at the end, so for that reason alone, I let them. My kid had to take the tests on a make-up
session because she was home with a 103 fever and “Foot, Mouth Disease”. She still almost scored perfect in Math and pretty
close in English. Good grief.
Somehow, she’s become one of the popular kids, and I don’t
mean that in the sense of all those obnoxious kids that I grew up
avoiding. She’s the kid others WANT to
spend time with. She’s THAT kid. And believe it or not; that comes with a
price, as she is constantly trying to turn off her brain from class and change
gears to enjoy so many different freinds.
We spend a lot of time before school (and a lot after) talking about how
to juggle, keeping her needs and happiness at the top but always managing to be
kind to others. My daughter has an
underlying current…one of anxiety and perfectionism and these are tough to live
with. We work very hard to help her work
through these…I guess we just work hard in this house. But she is always listening and reviewing and
calculating…putting things in their proper places and keeping perspective about
most things unless it has something to do with her hair, or her nails…she may
be a nerdy jock at heart, but she’s also all girl. She loves to mess with her hair and her
nails, which is fine by me…for plenty of years I was the guinea pig for
both. She’s really good at both now that
she’s doing them for herself, I find that interesting in itself, cause she wasn’t
always so good at either. ;-)
And underneath all of this is a heart of gold, a strength
that she doesn’t even realize she has yet and a determination that she will
make her way in this world on her terms.
She will do all of this and keep us laughing along the way. Often a simple conversation with her can
leave me laughing with tears running, she is just that funny. I love it, I love her and I love all the
magic that her being her brings to this world but mostly to this family. I know that we are Blessed, we are so very
lucky that she fell second in line as a kid to this family. I gave birth to her and that just amazes me
on a daily basis.
Every day I thank God for my many Blessings and then I pray
for the health and well-being of my family.
I add other things that I pray for them; but always, I thank God for the
funny little girl that keeps this cookie from falling apart and pray for the
wisdom to guide her through a whole different world that what her sister and
her brother are navigating. I refuse to
let her get lost in the jumbled world she walks through each day. I try to make sure that she knows her own worth
to give her confidence, knows her limits to keep her spirit from becoming
exhausted , and respects what her mind needs in order to keep it growing but also
keep it in a place where she finds peace from the chaos.
You know they aren't kidding when they tell you sometimes the kiddo with the extra chromosome will be your easiest. It never ceases to amaze me how often this is true. Watching her grow with a special brother is an interesting journey. Her desire to be his sister and connect with him, to be that special someone he wants to sit with and be with...that is a relief and a joy to observe. He is a part of her world and she often takes a while to share him with others, afraid that they won't accept him or will treat him poorly, so she feels people out and waits. Once she gives the gift of introducing her brother, I know that she's brought someone into her heart for the long haul. That's what he means to her. I love this girl and all the facets of a complex personality that she brings with her.
Go get em Number 8!!! :-) You know that this family and this cool little brother are sitting in the stands cheering for you, on the court and off!
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