There are times that I truly wonder if my children are just going to fight with each other forever. Especially, the girls. For Heaven's Sake they were just fighting over who was turning off the light in their room the other night. And if you listen closely, you can here them fussing at each other over who is using which sink in the bathroom...I mean there are two sinks for the Love of Pete! Can't we just pick the sink that is not in use and have at it? No, apparently, we cannot. For whatever reason they each have the perfect sink to use and no other sink will do. And it's not that they want this same sink every time they go in there, nope, the sink preference changes. I mean how are you supposed to know who is where and who wants what when they change preferences. When I want a sink I relegate them into the same sink and quietly chuckle inside as I see them struggle to figure out how to share the sink or else get domination without mom hearing or seeing any fighting. Ah good times indeed!
They fight about where they sit in the car - middle, or window? Front seat or back. And no one wants to ride all the way in the third row until we have to use the third row, then it's only okay if one of them wants back there, then they will fight over who actually sits back there. They pick at each other over who is singing what and dance moves....seriously, I kid you not. If one touches the other in the midst of dance moves...prepare yourself for an explosion...but you have to wait until the song is over because if it is an easy song to sing too, then they won't interrupt the singing to explode...when the song is over, then the fussing commences.
Sometimes when the yelling and tears start I try to redirect, sometimes I intercede, and other times...I sit back and let it run its course. Like tonight, I let them fuss at each other until the tears came, which sounds bad, but honestly, anything can bring a tear these days and in my defense, it is virtually impossible to predict the water works. I mean really, one minute everything is Fine and they're singing along to "Shake It Off" and then some look passes between them and now they both are fussing and one is crying and I haven't even realized the song is over yet! I'm still watching Bradley tapping his lap and clapping his hands because he loves the beat of that song.
Do they fight with their brother? Not really fight, more like disagree. They get tired of trying to play with him, they have their own ideas about what and how they should play, but Bradley has his own agenda, they just don't want to listen. Arguing with Bradley is rough though, he starts waving arms, pulling hair, and sometimes biting...though that seems to be easing away again now, thank God! But still, he can make it very uncomfortable to not play as he wants to play...I'm not saying he's a Mafia Don, but there are times he dresses like Tony Soprano for a reason! ;-)
For the most part, the girls fight over him. They want his attention and will compete for it, like he's the grand prize or something. And maybe he is in a way. For them, getting his affection is the coolest thing ever and being connected to him is so important. I always worried that I would somehow set them up in competition with each other and they would hate each other because of it. I think I might have by default when I delivered Bradley. But it turns out it wasn't created by me, it was created by Bradley, and he isn't even trying either, he's just being. But they love to make this kid laugh, and he has these big belly laughs, so I mean, who wouldn't?
So my hope is that they will continue to love their brother and want to work to remain as close to him as they can throughout his life, And somewhere in there, I want them to love each other. That's probably my biggest wish for the three of them, I believe that as they get older they will see each other as allies and not worry so much about the petty nonsensical fussing that they do now in an attempt to drive their mother bonkers. They are going to need each other and their brother is going to need them. They will have plenty of tears, a lot caused by each other, more caused by life itself, so they will have to learn to lean on each other. They also better find a way to keep laughter in their lives, because if they aren't making each other laugh on down the road, life will be even tougher. And they are going to need their brother, the lessons and the love that he is going to bring them will enrich their lives and help them to grow into the people they want to be. At least I hope so! For now, I figure that I will just keep laughing with them whenever I can and hoping that at some point the fighting will stop or if it doesn't stop, maybe subside and they will feel the stronger love at the base of everything.
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