Hello Day 20!
Every Sunday morning we take the girls to the Community Center for drop-in basketball. It's a blast. Somehow, a free just drop in and play turned into a practice, because a Coach is now running the time and it's a clinic. My girls, the only two girls in the class. Madison is fierce, she's learning and developing as a player by leaps and bounds. We were a little worried about Sydney at first, she has a tendency to let her nerves get the better of her. They are so different, it's amazing sometimes. And it's funny too. We arrive at practice and Madison says: "Hi" to the Coach, then proceeds to ask how he is, and his week was. And he laughed as he told us that it always cracks him up because that's the big difference between coaching the girls and the boys - he says Hi to the boys and they might grunt back but mostly a nod. Not Madison, everything happens with passion, and everyone is worth the time to connect. I love that about that kid!
Coach split the kids into teams and usually my girls are against each other. It was interesting though when they did play on the same team for a bit, Sydney was more timid. She's a learner that does best by doing, but in the area of basketball, she needs a book to explain all the rules and the ideas of how to play in order to really attack the game. It's fascinating that there is this shift for her. Madison is a book learner, and by doing, but in her game play, the more she has hands on, the better she learns it. She's the practice makes perfect kid. Sydney is the give me a start and then I'll show you how to make it perfect.
So the Coach put Sydney on one team and Madison on the other. Madison is older, at that awkward twelve years old where some things are coming along a lot quicker than others. Ball control is pretty good, just not on the off-hand. Her baskets are coming along, and now with a little more consistency...though she thinks she can hit the three pointers...maybe not quite yet. But she's forgetful, she gets moving and forgets that you just told her to pass that off, gets in the same situation and doesn't pass it off. You know stuff like that. But for the most part, she's pretty accepted on the team and gets the ball, passes, and shoots...rebounds well... all that. She's not the best out there, she doesn't pretend to be, but she sure doesn't let that stand in her way. She believes she should get to play and she's going to earn her place on the team. It works well for her. The boys laugh with her and they accept her. They play competitive games like "Knockout" and just this Sunday, she actually won.
As for Sydney, well... it's not that they don't accept her, sometimes I think they just would forget she was there. She's pretty quiet, intense and watchful, but quiet nonetheless. So back to the game. Coach set the kids up, and we watched as Sydney and three boys were grouped and waiting for the coach to come give them some pointers before starting the game. We watched Sydney literally, stepping backwards out of the group, isolating herself further and further away from the other boys. I watched her a minute and then she grabbed her hands in front of her. Ah...time to step in. So I called her over and we had a chat. You see, that hand grabbing is something she does when her nerves are shutting her down. So I asked her what was up and her answer was: "The boys are talking about things that I don't know anything about. And I don't think they like me."
Dad and I told her, "Hey, this is not a team, this is drop-in basketball where a really nice man who is also a really great coach is giving his time to be here to teach all of you about basketball. You've played before, you've been on a team that has won and lost and you have been on the court experiencing those, you've shot baskets and made them in other games. Just because they're boys doesn't mean that you shouldn't be here or that you can't play at their level. If you don't know, ask, they'll tell you, if they don't want to tell you the Coach will. All you have to do here is learn all you can and have fun, no one is here to yell at you, and no one is going to yell at you." Well, that seemed to calm her down, she went back out to her team, maybe not with them, but near and not wringing her hands as much.
Like I said, the Coach is pretty great. He knows his players and he knows how to reach them on an individual and a team level. This man took the time to get down one-on-on with Sydney, telling her what to do, where to go, how to proceed. He gave her a mental map that she had no problem following. And..he matched her against her sister. There is something about Sydney that makes her really come out of her shell when it comes to her sister. I want to believe that she wants Madison's approval, or even admiration...I would settle for healthy competition. And I don't mind them finding their own areas to compete, that's healthy siblings...all that aside though, I think Sydney just really wants to beat her sister.
She played hard, she played tough, and she fought hard. But as much as she was improving and playing, some of the boys on her team wouldn't let her have the ball. So then the Coach made one more change...he put his own son on Sydney's team. Now the Coach has four kids, and I don't know how the older ones play, but his two youngest...yeah, they tear up the floor. And they are both beyond decent young men. The son he put on Sydney's team is a grade above her in school, and also goes to her school. Being sixth grade, I'm quite certain his knowledge of her existence is strictly connected to this gym time. That being said, while on her team, he kept feeding her the ball and she stumbled at first, I think shocked to have the ball in her hands; but he kept finding opportunities, and Sydney started putting the baskets in, and the rebounds happened and she was laying ball again. Little Hoops was back in the game and playing like we know she can play and better than we could hope. We were thrilled and truly enjoyed being able to cheer for both sides. The Coach was pleased and even made the point to let her know she was doing awesome. We would see them the next day at the Teacher conferences, us on the way out of Sydney's, him on the way into his son's. He stopped and told Eric just how proud he was of Sydney for working through her nerves and really playing hard and playing so great. Nice guy, teaching kids the right way to play, on the court and off.
So yeah, drop-in basketball, the highlight of our Sundays. Bradley cheers or watches his movies and Dad and I just soak it all up. Then after Basketball, that's our special time to find something to do that carries the joy of the court into our time as a family. The girls will start fighting as soon as one of them gets put into the shower at home, but until we get home, it's just a really special time.
Let the girls play, let the girls compete...they cheer for each other and they attack each other...but they are sisters through and through, and I am hoping that someday, they are going to be there for each other...I just know it! Or at least I tell myself that at night to help me sleep! :-) HAHA
See, Acceptance is important for everyone. We all want it, we all feel better when we have it. The girls want it, and need it...and they deserve it. So does their brother. So do you and so do I! Let's just decide to accept and allow that the more differences there are among us, the better the ride on the roller coaster we call this life!
Happy Monday night! Royals are playing tomorrow...World Series...and I just can't wait!
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