Habits

 October 22, 2020

Sometimes with Bradley it feels like we are trading one habit for another...and most of the habits are one troubling one to the next.  

We wanted Bradley to stop throwing his cups; for obvious reasons, mostly to prevent injury to those around him and then the potential breaking of items.  It wasn’t just his cups, but when we would go to Volleyball tournaments we got to where we had to stop letting him hold his cups and he hated that, but it is so embarrassing when he tosses a cup and it head towards the court.  Yeesh...  So we worked with him to get him to stop throwing his cup, and we would replace with something he could do.  Give mom your cup and you can have ...?  Why is that blank?  Here’s why...what he wants today, he doesn’t want tomorrow.  When I say Bradley is a puzzle, this is part of it.  How can we reward him for not throwing his cup when we offer him his first reward and he isn’t interested...and then the second option and he is not interested, and we go for option 3 and by then he is thirsty again.  What a cycle.

So, we’ve managed to improve this cup throwing thing...except in the car.  He knows in the car I cannot stop him.  And when it is a long trip, he can’t go for a couple hours without something...wait, let me correct that.  I cannot go for two hours and listen to his frustration and tears because he has nothing to drink.  Kid is spoiled for sure, but there is always the underlying need to make sure he gets all the calories he needs per day.  I don’t worry too much, but I do pay close attention to weight.  When his weight goes down one pound ten ounces (currently) - it is just enough for me to pay attention and let the spoiled kid get his milk even though he throws it when he is done with it.  

But keeping it to the car...when he is in his seat and I am driving, I cannot keep him from putting his hand in his mouth.  We don’t know why he does this.  We don’t know if it is a medical - reflux issue and he needs that stimulation to help that, or if he is just bored... I don’t know.  But there are times that he keeps his hand in his mouth all the time.  In the house, I’ll sit next to him and give him his movie, when he puts his hand in his mouth I take it and as soon as he takes his hand out, I give it back.  But I also keep this as much without reaction or comment other than the movement.  Back and forth, back and forth...and God forbid I try to potty train him at the same time.  He is already frustrated that I am trying to prevent him putting his hand in his mouth and then I am asking him to walk to the potty every twenty minutes.  So I have to allow the hand in his mouth when we are trying to get over the potty training hurdle to keep him from melting down about the training and turning it into a control issue more than a training.  I don’t know what’s harder, keeping him from melting down or myself.  HAHA...  

And then there is the teeth grinding.  If only we could determine the need for him to grind we might be able to understand and perhaps replace that behavior too.  Sadly, we have no idea why he does it or if it is also a medical need.  The dentist seems to think that only his six year old molars are in and the others are only baby teeth, so I can only hope that as he loses his baby molars he will no longer need to grind - or rather, he won’t be able to get the stimulation he needs through grinding if there is nothing there to grind...and perhaps when the other molars come through - he will have forgotten about grinding at all.  At least, one can certainly hope!  

I can’t seem to find the right means to entice Bradley to give up the negatives to accept all the positives, mostly since I can’t seem to figure out what those positives could be to encourage him to think that giving up the negatives are worth it.  But we keep trying everyday anyway.  Sometimes we can slow down the hands in the mouth, and that is a great day...I wish he wouldn’t revert back - but for now he does.  Just as I keep trying to find the positive to encourage him to make sitting on the potty a habit that will eventually turn into routine...even if he really can’t tell what his body wants or needs to do...that is still up for debate.  So yeah, he’s a bit of a work in progress, but he’s a cute little work in progress so we just keep trundling along.  

And I leave you with this new thing that he has started to do at night...it’s not a habit yet, but it would be a good one.  As he finally falls into sleep, he turns on his belly and he wraps his arms around his pillow.  He has never agreed to have a lovie or a special blanket...but if he could find comfort in holding his pillow and that helps him fall asleep...I would love for that to become a habit!  See what I mean, that would be a good thing!