October 24, 2020
The family as a whole is working on our health. I had some tough days in the summer of 2019. I took the girls to Orlando for volleyball, and when I came home I went right back into caring for Bradley as usual, and as was his new habit, he was still not sleeping through the night. He had been, but in February, he suddenly started to get up throughout the night, and progressively, he started getting up for longer periods. It started to weigh on me. There are only so many middle of the nights, awake and sitting with my son and feeling that this is just the beginning of a lifetime of sleepless nights from here on out; before things start to get heavy. It’s sometimes hard to love someone so much and yet accept that there are some hard times ahead. I knew I was never not going to sit up with him; for however long, I just wondered how the days were going to be good when my spirit was being so battered. Could they stay good?
I was exhausted but trying to remain upbeat; after all, I have three amazing kids and one fantastic husband that I adore. So feeling bummed with that just seemed ridiculous to my very logical brain. My visit for my medication renewal, had my doc suggesting that I try to sleep once Bradley went to school. So I guess I looked at it like I was taking the night shift, and then sleeping during my ‘night’ while he was at school. And this worked for awhile, it seemed I would kind of catch up and then the last couple days of the week I could catch up around the house. But then it was like I didn’t have the energy to catch up around the house anymore. I didn’t know I wasn’t eating well until Halloween, the quick disappearance of my favorite candy caught my attention. So I stopped. But a glance at the scale was frightening. So I started some research, what could I do. I read a lot of articles and books, made some changes right away and some to implement over time.
And at the same time my daughter was struggling with her skin. We tried every over the counter skincare, she would give it for almost two months...no dice. Try something else for the next two months... no dice. Do some more research and took her to an esthetician who gave me more information...and I did more research because I was quite sure I couldn’t afford the monthly suggestion or the skincare line she was telling me to try. It was frustrating and heartbreaking. My own troubles were bubbling over inside of me and at the same time hers were bubbling over out of her and I could feel her distress on a level that I may not have recognized in other times. Plenty of times, her tears fell from my eyes long after I had dropped her off at school.
So we made some changes. I know that skin and gut are connected, so my research led me to where I might have a chance to offer solutions for both: for her, for me, and for Eric. I wanted more control of how I felt. We started with skincare that was helpful pretty quickly and no longer had all the chemicals that were treating her skin so harshly, so I felt better about that. But she has to take a steroid twice a day - that really takes a toll on her skin. She also has reflux, so that really takes a toll on her skin too. I saw the troubles weren’t going to go easily or quickly. So I brought her to Dermatology to lead the way on that. But I decided to keep her in better skincare and better nutrition to try to help her as much as I could. At the same time; I needed to find me again, my smile, my optimism, because I had lost them.
I did a 30 Days to Healthy Living and Beyond Program. At first I did it by myself, and being something I had to pay for I did not cheat and I did the whole program and I found everything I had been missing. And so much that I needed. I felt so much better, and I was changing what I was cooking for dinner and how I was doing it - my family slowly started eating what I was eating and they all started to feel a little better. Enough that Eric wanted to try the program; so I did it with him, I wanted to support him and I since I felt really great, it was an easy choice to make. A couple months later, the girls and I did it.
Is it the answer to everything? Of course not. But it is an answer for me. I felt so much better this summer compared to last. I see the differences in my family and their over all general health. Skincare is slowly coming around but we still have her Dermatologist offering her help in that area, it requires patience which is not a strong trait for my kid, but it is happening. My other girl is pleased to have her skin in control, so at least there’s that.
Sydney is almost at the end of the 75 Hard Challenge. Her desire to excel at volleyball has defined her in the last few years but in amazing ways the last six months. Her workout has been intense and consistent. This challenge has her working out twice a day, reading for ten minutes a day, a gallon of water a day and following a set diet. She chose to follow the 30 Days because she feels better on it. Monday is Volleyball tryouts with the potential for High School games starting in December. If the world smiles on us, she might get to play Club ball on November 8th - but truly every step is a baby step forward and strictly a wait and see prospect. This year; or next, she is ready to keep up the work to win a spot on the floor. It’s been interesting to watch the desire grow to a belief and become her goal.
Does Bradley sleep any better at night? No. But, it’s okay. I can’t change it, I can’t change him. My baby is my baby and whatever issues he has - I have to figure out how to live a life around them and make that life a really good one. I need my boy happy and healthy, and I need my girls happy and healthy, and I need my Love happy and healthy... in the mix - it would be great if I could find some of that happiness and health for me too. The work I have put in since January has allowed me to find me again. I have energy to live, really live in each day, and I find that that really makes me feel better inside...when that happens it just helps you to get up each day and get through your day. I’m so glad I tried the program and changed everything about how my day begins and how it goes throughout. Some days are harder than others, but to be fair - I have had Bradley with me 24/7 since March, and there are no nap days. But every day is not a trudge to get through, it’s just a day. We are working through Bradley’s sleep issues, and keeping up with all his health issues. He is my easiest to try better food for the family. From the first day of my 30 day program; that first clean meal, when I offered him food from my plate, he willingly took plenty of bites. HAHA... So in the long run, I think that he is benefitting from a healthier diet as well. I have a cupboard full of Lemon pudding, and I can’t say for sure that he is off it because he is bored with it, no longer needs that jolt to his tastebuds to catch his attention, he just outgrew the need for it, or maybe eating healthier means he isn’t in need of that sweet/sour like he was. Heehee...if you could see how this kid mows through cookies, you would probably think like I do - boredom!
Either way. Things had to change and so we made some changes. I made changes to how I live and how I work and what I do to help my family. And I couldn’t be happier with the path I am on. The work is something I enjoy and I am helping my family live better, so I know I have been Blessed. Sometimes I even help others along the way and that feels amazing!!
So life was rough for a bit, but it’s better now. Life gets better everyday, we just keep putting one foot in front of the other along the way!
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