October 12, 2020
I’m a little concerned by Bradley’s latest school trend. On Mondays and Wednesdays we come home from therapy and usually manage to get him on to a Zoom with his class for part of a lesson and then for the relatively shorter afternoon session. He doesn’t care for any of it, but some times are more productive than others.
A few weeks back...could it be close to six already? Yikes! His new teacher; who he has never met, pulled him into a breakout room so that she could do his testing with him. Having already sat through two sessions on a Thursday and not really liking them; he let me know by vocally yelling his displeasure to the neighbors. To say it didn’t go well was quite the understatement. In good news, he did not knock himself out, but not for lack of trying. In other good news, he did not aim and actually hit me with his milk cup, he aimed and hit the floor. He did get a few good hair pulls in and a bit of earnest scratching...so the tally is pretty much him still the victor over mom. I did get him to calm down enough to answer one of the questions...so I think I get a win for that.
To be fair, the teacher doesn’t know Bradley. His last teacher knew him pretty well, but even she had no idea how Bradley would respond to Zoom. I mean I’ve known the kid his whole life and the way he loves his movie - I might have bet that he would LOVE Zooming. But I would have also been quite certain that the lack of control over what he was allowed to watch would put a damper on the love affair and even lead to a Divorce at some point. I just didn’t realize that we wouldn’t get a Honeymoon period on Zoom...we went straight from Chapel to Courts and he didn’t even want custody of my laptop. Sigh...
So I have had exactly two conversations with Bradley’s new teacher...and only one of those was between the two of us, and I can’t tell for sure that a Para wasn’t monitoring in the background. We seem to be constantly having a silent party observing or monitoring or something in the background for every session. I have no idea why, and though I might have some bubbling suspicions brewing in my slightly conspiracy theory considering brain...nothing formed enough to even say right now. Our only potentially private conversation was after that horribly botched testing session, where Bradley literally failed his testing. Based on that alone, he would be sent back to remedial, remedial pre-school. Having had our first school Speech session the Friday before, I let his teacher know that he had done extraordinarily well in that environment. He had been at Therapy, came home and had a little bit of a nap and she had been his only Zoom session for the day, she jumped right in and engaged him with his favorite things and he was willing to sit through the session and work.
Now, whenever his teacher wants to test him, she grabs him into a breakout room with a fun activity with a para, then she gives him his testing, and then puts him back into a fun activity or song. We spend a lot of time on StarFall. But he is getting really good at this test. I am slightly concerned that it is always the same test, and I wonder if part of the test is the recognition of the repetition? But then again, I wonder if maybe she is testing him until he gets them all correct a set number of times? I just don’t know. Here’s the other part that slightly concerns me. Seems like every other time we get on, he is being pulled out to test. If that keeps happening, even Bradley will notice a trend and then it will be even harder to get him to sign on to Zooms for me. And then there is this frightening thought! Is this the only testing they do in class? And is this all they do? Set up the calendar in the morning then move on to testing, and always this same test?
A part of me wants to tell that part above there to shut it! He is being quite successful on that test and consistently successful with it, so let it be. But I just have such a skewed view of this school and the way they have behaved in general towards students and especially their seemingly distrust of parents, that I have a distrust of them. And isn’t that a ridiculous cycle? I get rolling in these concerns and then I forcefully remind myself of the parents that knew this Principal at another school and felt he was great. So I am trying to give him a chance...but this is the same guy that walked by and when introduced by the old Principal looked at me dismissively and then walked on. I was helping with a Teacher Appreciation Baked Goods event at the time. Perhaps such things offend him, or perhaps his diet was being strained as he looked at the scrumptious Banana Cream Luscious I had brought. Surely that was all. And then he and I had that difference in opinion about ABA for Bradley at school and he must have felt a wee foolish for not thinking to discuss matters with Bradley’s teacher first and then the shut down happened, which surely explains why that next phone call never happened. I mean, Bradley had a One on one aide and an ABA therapist by then...sadly it was me...but hey, I am a fast learner and a great reader - I am getting what I need to know on board to help my guy.
It’s not that I don’t dislike his teacher, I am trying very hard to drum up some regard over these zoom calls, but I am just not there yet so I don’t feel much either way. And the sad part, I am mostly indifferent because even if they go back to school for one day or two or even five eventually; she and I really aren’t going to be spending any significant time together to build a rapport between us before Bradley is off to the Middle School (hold on, have to breath into a brown bag over that horrifying revelation for a minute) nor are we likely to meet in person, so we aren’t really relevant. Bradley might build some groundwork with her, only to have that ripped away in June...I have to tell you, I am feeling less and less excited about all this as I keep working through it in my head.
It is that this point in my thinking where I remind myself to fall back on my Faith, to let the wheels turn and the way ahead play out before us inch by inch, while I watch and wait and Believe that the best way is either going to make itself seen, or I am going to feel that slight push from the Man Upstairs to push back, forward or pull until I feel like I am moving Bradley down the Path that is intended. The hardest part with Faith is making sure I am listening with my heart more than my head so that I know when to let the Path be because it is truly the Best way for Bradley. Sometimes my brain gets too involved and the whispers of outside influences and expectations try to sway a way that I know in my heart and gut, aren’t the Best for Bradley. Good thing Eric is so solid and keeps us all moving on a straighter path so that as I wind my way in and out, I never get lost and always find the guy carrying the Compass. We make a great team that guy and I.
For now, we are still Zooming, Bradley is still hating them, and I swear he has an internal alarm clock that allows him to nap until the last possible session of the day is almost if not completely finished before he wakes up. My little dude is one smart and savvy little dude! Gotta give him that! HAHA
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