These Kids

October 23, 2020

There have been certain actions in my life as a mom that I have never wavered from.  I strongly believe in the job that I have chosen and I also strongly believe that there is a possibility that I will never truly know how well I have done in my job while I am here.  It has always been my belief that my children are the miracles that God let us him Help create; as such, they should be treated as the miracles they are.  That being said, even miracles get grounded sometimes.  Yes, even when I am angry with them, I still love them dearly, but do expect them to be respectful and all around good kids.  

Madison is our pleaser.  I do think that one of the downsides to letting her do so much modeling and acting in Japan is that she grew up wanting to please everyone.  Being the center of attention was lovely for her, but knowing that other people were relying on her to get their paychecks, mom was pretty intent that she do her part well and as needed in order to make sure that everyone else walked away with a good day’s work and impending payday.  I did have one model tell me that I was being too hard on her and should let her mess around a little bit and be a kid.  Granted she was in the middle of a grassy park playing soccer with the shoot’s staff at the time - so I admit that I was a little confused as to how much more she should be allowed to mess around considering she was busy playing.  To this day, I think of that conversation and how it felt to be told I was too hard on the kid who was busy running around in a rousing soccer game; stopping to eat yet another sweet, before jumping back into the game - all while I stood there listening.  I don’t know, I think she’s turned out pretty great, despite her mean mom letting her play soccer in the park, in Japan, while eating sweets, while I was being hard on her.  Hmmmm....

Sydney is the jokester in the family.  She keeps us on our toes and makes us laugh often with Eri shenanigans.  To this day, she wishes she had not been so shy as a tiny kid and that she had liked strawberries.  You see, at one of Madison’s auditions, the Producer had asked for Sydney to audition too.  They really wanted her, but I told them they could try, but Sydney was really shy and might not do it.  I was right.  In the first attempt, she wouldn’t blow a bubble - even off camera...and in the second attempt - said she hated strawberries and wouldn’t eat any of them.  Now she wishes she could go back and be in commercials with her sister.  She wants to return to Japan to live; or at least visit, because in her head she thinks of Japan as home, and I do think that part of her is hopeful she could restart a small modeling career and have some of the same fun hat Madison had, who knows. Until then, she just keeps us laughing here at home.  But she also has a big heart and a strong sense of who she is and where she wants her life to go.  She wants to please, but it is not as important to her as it is to Madison.  Maybe birth order, maybe childhood events, but these two girls are really different in that sense.  Madison wants to make others happy because it is important to her and that makes her happy.  Sydney does it because it makes her happy to see others happy.  

And then there is Bradley.  Bradley is starting to really come into his personality.  He is likes to get a reaction from people around him, but he doesn’t much care if the reaction is good or bad - he just likes the reaction.  A negative reaction will bring a look of question to his face, like he is trying to dissect the situation to understand what he is seeing.  Getting a reaction that is positive leaves him feeling so very proud of himself.  He gets this huge smile on his face, so much self satisfaction.  Today he wanted his milk in the van, and we decided to give it a try.  I told him to put it in the cup holder when he was done, and when he did, we cheered, and his grin was huge because he was so proud of himself.  So maybe he is a bit of a people pleaser too - except he isn’t trying really hard to please anyone, he is just in the moment trying to comply with a demand put upon him in a way that makes him happy.  When he took another drink and then tossed his cup, we gave him almost no reaction other than to tell him not a good choice...and we got that quiet and curious look back at us, I think he was just flat out shocked that we didn’t give him the reaction he wanted.  At least we are getting better at this!  

At the end of the day, we love the moments when each kid has that smile that lets you know they are proud of themselves.  Our kids want our approval and want us to be proud of them, and we let them know when they do.  But I have always tried very hard to make sure that they find it in themselves to put the work in that will make them feel proud of themselves at the end of the day.  I think if I can help them get to those little moments, to see those everyday triumphs, those surprising lifts in their lives, and be proud of themselves there; then the special moments will be truly special, not because they are life altering, but because they understand the importance of the little moments, to create the framework of a life they can be most proud of themselves living.  

I just need them to be good people.  If they got out into the world and remain the good people they are right now, then I know I have done my job right.  If I can get Bradley potty trained - then I would say I have done my job well.  Anything after that is just special and all those extras are just going to make us so proud of him, of them, of our family, of our life.