I wanted to keep today light, but then I caught a story on the IDSC (International Down Syndrome Coalition) site on Facebook. It changed my mind, and in a way I didn't even know about, it helped change the course of my life. It was the story about a family sixty years ago who welcomed a baby girl into the world and learned she had Down syndrome. The doctors were horrible about it then, the lives of these babies were horrific, the terms used to label them, yes. Horrific! It's the password of the day - horrible. But here's the part that would shape the path that would wind down to intersect with my life: Her parents ignored her doctors and they decided to take her home and let her grow surrounded by an incredible love that would give them five precious years before her weak little heart took her Home to Jesus.
They took her home.
They loved her.
They grieved her.
They felt Blessed that she chose them.
I don't know them. But they aren't the only ones that shaped the future for me and people like me. This family, and incredible families like them chose to defy doctors and society and said no to Institutions and said yes to a family. In comparison, our lives are so much easier with our kids, medicine has not only caught up but there are quite a few doctors that are now invested in out kids health as much as we are. Now you can find doctors that are saying that it's okay, not spouting drivel of ruination and horror. But make no mistake, you have to choose wisely if you have the control, because there are just as many doctors out there that fall on the horror side of things.
We didn't have much control over doctors when I was pregnant with Bradley. But on that day I was worried about a spot on my back, my doctor was not concerned about it, but he was concerned about me being worried and didn't want me stressing myself...so he sent me to Dermatology - it saved my life. Thank you Doc! And on that last day, the day Bradley was born, I didn't know my Midwife. I knew she had kind eyes, I knew she let me have a meal and then an early epidural. She was patient and coaxed my son from the womb even as he fought to stay. She respected my information about the quick arrival of Sydney, and planned accordingly. And in that moment when my son was clear, she laughed with joy as she told me to "Open your eyes and look at your son!" It was over, he was here - it was time for all the physical pain to go away.
And here is where the decisions from one incredible family sixty years ago rippled through time, space, life to settle into the heart of this woman to share the news that our son had the characteristics of Down syndrome. The message was that the child we had expected was gone and in his place was this precious boy that might take longer to get where he needs to go; but it would be okay.
The message from every medical person that walked through our doors was simply, it will be okay. And though no one said it, but I heard her words like an echo: "Open your eyes and look at your son" seemed to sing through every person. The underlying truth was that our world had changed in a moment, but everyone was determined to get us through the shock and the fear until we could get our feet under us, get the world to stop shaking and we might come out on the other side in one piece. But no one ever suggested Bradley not come home. No one ever suggested that Bradley wouldn't be great. A doctor would later look me in the eye and with a certainty that I felt to my soul would tell us that "He will amaze you!" It brought tears to my eyes because I believed him with everything in me.
The lives lived before us led to these moments that set me on a path that is wonderful and challenging. Their pain and their conviction to love shaped lives and changed minds. Their belief has helped some doctors to choose life and love not stereotypes and prejudice. The path has brought us to here, where our doctors support us every step, and love our son. Believe me when I say, we know how lucky we are and what a gift this is.
Open your eyes and look at your son! He will amaze you! I thought these words were just meant for me, but I think maybe her words circle Bradley and encourages others to: open their eyes and see my son, for he will amaze them!
Thank you to those who carved the way through the mountain. We'll keep working and pushing forward, all because you saw your children with love and hope and never gave up. We will never give up! I will use the same lens to see my son and I will fight to give him a life worth living and a life he truly deserves!
Awareness....yes...long before this October a small crew on a Navy Base in Japan practiced Awareness and Acceptance! "31 for 21: Challenge" still going strong!
Good night all!
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