Sleeping in Chairs, or Where Ever...

It's amazing the things we'll do to create harmony and peace.  A perfect example, think about how many times you've rocked and jiggled and juggled until you found that perfect spot, that sweet nirvana when that fussy baby of yours goes quiet and falls asleep.  And we've all had those nights where the transition to crib is just too much and little eyes might not even open, but the cries start all over again.  So if you're like me and Eric, that would lead to the continued process towards sleep, and I'm not gonna lie, when sleep comes again - we've both spent hours sitting awkwardly in a rocking chair sacrificing good back and neck health for the better welfare of one of our kids.  We've both faced early mornings bleary eyed and exhausted while our little kiddo is bright eyed and well rested.  Bradley has spent long nights together with one of us, and often both of us.  Sleeping in a rocking chair at home is much better than sleeping at the hospital, in any chair or bed like contraption.  But if he's there, so are we.  I've held him in my arms to help him go to sleep while standing for hours...believe me, sleeping awkwardly on Dad's couch last Saturday night was a cakewalk!

Do we do this the most with Bradley?  Yeah, I think on the sliding rule it sits more on his end, but make no mistake: we knew more than our share of sleepless nights and extreme compromises for both girls.  Madison was a reflux baby and though that didn't make her colicky, she might as well have been.  Until we had Sydney, we thought babies just cried that much and spit up that much, we thought it was normal.  HAH!

Madison also wore an Apnea monitor for a good six months.  And we knew that wasn't normal, but we were attached to this kid before she was ever born, so we learned how to force her to take bitter tasting medicine, and to attach electrodes and work this heavy monstrosity of a machine I had to take everywhere! Now why could we do this? I think because on Day 4 of Madison's life we had to watch them milk her heel for a blood draw.  It almost killed me!  All drama aside, watching my child scream at that tore me up inside and if Eric hadn't been there to hold me up, I would have crumbled.  Oh and there were all those shots, I cried with her the first time then she was put on the Apnea monitor, I didn't cry at the shots anymore.  I did lay awake for hours listening to the sweet music of her breathing though.

Sydney was such a Blessed relief, and such a port in the storm that was coming.  Sydney suffered minor reflux, but she could also self comfort and put herself to sleep.  She didn't cry a whole lot, but she laughed a whole lot, and for the first two years, Madison just called her "Baby."  Sydney's had her health issues, but hers came after some Bradley prepping.  Prepping for us and for her.  She doesn't see all her brother goes through, but she knows and her incredible imagination fills in the blanks with details faster than I can supply her with the facts to ease her mind.  And we talk a lot with her lying in bed and me kneeling beside her bed as she lays down at night.

You learn a lot being a parent, you learn about yourself.  Somewhere along the way you choose the moments, the lengths you'll go to fix this one thing, to bring peace to your kids - and to you.  Did Sydney need me to hold her to put her sleep?  Nope.  But sometimes I held her anyway, cherishing the peace that comes with holding a sleeping child.  Sometimes I gave that gift to myself.

But there are other things that I give myself as gifts to bring myself and my kids peace.  For example, when we get out of the car in the mornings after dropping the girls at school; I admit it, I stand a little longer outside during the sunny mornings because Bradley buries his head into my shoulder and I get the best cuddles!  And I admit to the moment of bliss when someone new comes in, or when Bradley's Respite Care worker comes on Friday mornings, I get the best cuddles, and since he LOVES playing with Ms. Sam, I don't even feel the slightest bit guilty! ;-)  I work at finding those moments of peace, and joy...and I make a note of cuddles and how to get repetition when we 're at home, because at the hospitals - I get them all the time because he's so sick when he's there.  I want the ones at home most.

Today, with a touch of Fall in the air, not too hot, and not too cold, with no wind blowing...the kids played by a fountain.  Sitting there together...it took me 45 pictures, but I got it...I got the greatest picture I have of my three kids yet!  I was thrilled.  Their smiles were real, were sweet, were perfect, and in that moment, they were all three at peace and in my heart I felt it...I felt their harmony.  We're trying to teach them how to find that peace, to enjoy that harmony they are meant to have with each other.  Most the time getting them to just speak kindly to each other is like pulling teeth without pliers, but then there are days like today, moments like these that are the ones that make all those sleepless nights worth it.  Every awkward position designed to bring peace and calm to my kids has given them an ability to find a peace and calm in themselves, has taught them to be patient.  And it certainly took patience to get one almost four year old boy to not only hold still, but smile at the same time!  I thank my training in the past to help me contort myself for 30 minutes, leaning on a knee waiting for the perfect shot and getting some pretty precious ones on the way.  

He's looking

Great smile!  Almost there!    

There it is!  That's the one I've been working to get!  LOVE!!!

 Some challenges are just worth the work.  The "31 for 21: Challenge" is always worth the work, but raising these three kids...never a dull moment and worth my heart and soul!  Man, I love these kids!  Just don't tell them or they'll never listen to me again!  ;-)))  Have a great night all!