Even though I'm not in the market for another baby, I still go once a year to the OB/Gyn to protect myself. I want to be here for as many tomorrows as possible so I try to pay attention to the details to keep me healthy. Last year, my insurance company sent me two letters, three e-mails, two automated phone calls and one text message encouraging me to get my baseline mammogram done. So I had this image in my head of me standing in front of St. Peter saying, "Why?" And St. Peter looking back at me saying, "Well, we sent you all kinds of messages....." Ah, well.... Yeah okay, I'll get that checked. So after telling the doc how often I was being contacted, we had a good chuckle, then we got it done and all was well, relief!
But along the way, I had to confront one of my new phobias...waiting rooms at baby doctors. The first one I tried, the front desk people made me furious so I refused to go back. Their incompetence chafed me no end. Then the girl who had screwed up my whole appt forcing my return wanted my picture for their files. I looked at her and said, "No." She protested. I told her she had copies of my driver's license and my dependent ID card: "You got enough pictures of me." So she looks offended and then taps at her computer and says she can work it out. I told her good for her, but I wasn't coming back anyway, so I didn't care what she did. Sad part in all this, the doc was really nice.
Oh well, off to doc #2. I chose one in another city. I learned that one of the doc's in town offered to fix the dates on paperwork so a mom's insurance would cover the abortion after a Down syndrome diagnosis. Who knows who or where, but I knew I didn't like the first place I went and figured out of town would just be better for my sanity.
Next town, new doc, new waiting room full of chic, well maintained pregnant women. My first thought was, hmmm, wait till the little bundle gets here! The new mom that came in while I was waiting, well...she confirmed this and I tried not to chuckle. But under it all I felt the pressure of wondering what they would do with a diagnosis, what would this doctor do or say to them, to me? Turns out the staff is one of the nicest groups I get to deal with, so that helps. When Bradley had to go with me, they didn't care that I'd brought my bodyguard. I was anxious, but having to stand on a scale and read those numbers is a great equalizer for me. I am what I am, I am always at work on myself, and I'm okay with that. In that instant, standing there staring at my number, I stopped caring what they might say about my little guy. I am not the only work in progress in my house: I got three big projects underway 24/7. By the time I got to my room, my blood pressure and heart rate were perfect. Bradley being his sweet and adorable self - charmed the knickers off of our British nurse and the doc, he was pretty charmed as well.
I don't know what my doc would tell a mom with a diagnosis...I do know that he has seen a very cute and sweet kid who has a well adjusted mom that has a sense of humor in place and a calm enough outlook on life to get our family through. Oh, and that kid also has Down syndrome. We came, Bradley charmed, and they were all pleased to see us and look forward to our return next year in the hopes that I avoid more complications in my aging body. ;-). Nice group, but once a year is more than enough for me! HaHa.
Should I return, not as a patient but as an advocate? Yes. And I will, because I need them to know that I am here to listen and to answer questions to those getting a diagnosis. They need to know that I am here and willing to help a new parent talk about their baby first and the joy of that, and then talk about the diagnosis. So I will write a letter, I will put my contact information in there, and links to important websites with up to date info about Down syndrome. It's what I can do to help Bradley, babies with a little extra something special, and for the parents who struggle with the news.
So a new Challenge for October to go with the "31 for 21: Challenge" but one that fights for the smallest heroes fighting for each day, each breath, and every heartbeat!
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