Milestones and Memories

 

Bradley will turn six in January.  I've been stuck in this rythym of saying he's five and a half, until yesterday.  Yesterday it dawned on me that he is almost six.  So much closer to six than five and a half.  It's not that I don't want him to be almost six, but I think a psychologist could have a field day looking inside my head and just noting how I just don't want to age him too fast.  I want his developmental age to match his age...but that won't happen...so I'd like to have a closer gap.  But the truth is the gap begins to widen, and though I wouldn't change Bradley because who is is more than enough, I still wish I could keep that gap from widening any further.  But life is going to be what it will be, and I think the best solution is to celebrate his triumphs.

We've had a lot to celebrate with Bradley lately.  Not only does his health continue to make him a little stronger each day, the result is that he continues to get to go to school.  Not at home because he is so weak and fragile...but big school!  Our boy is tackling and conquering his Kindergarten.  I kept trying to make sure people understood it was a special class K-2, like I wanted to make sure I was clear and didn't let anyone think I was making Bradley smarter than he is or more capable than he is...more included than he is...more than he is.  I would never want to take away from a kid that is making it in a regular Kindergarten, but I've stopped thinking that my little boy needs to be explained.    Perhaps we're not ready for full inclusion, but we're ready for school and Bradley is growing every day and proving that there are no limits to the world he lives in, only possibilities.

A year ago, I wasn't sure what to say when asked if he recognized shapes and colors.  I could see some of this at home, but Bradley is a shy guy, I never know what he'll show someone else.  First month, I carried so much anxiety that he would not ever show them what he knows.  But then the last month  happened.  First he showed a preference for someone, getting excited by one of the aides coming up to say hi and Bradley running up the ramp to give a hug.   Then Bradley decided that he likes his teacher, because he grabbed his chair and moved it so he could sit beside her, big move on his part.  Then Bradley walked in with me, not carried, and helped me put his lunchbox away and then went to his chair, less cling to me, though my leaving caused him to cry and hide his head.  Starting last week, he holds my hand in, puts his lunchbox away, closed the fridge, held my hand to his chair, and sat.  We looked at his shape cards, he found the matching card to place on the Velcro, he matched every one without help.  I was overwhelmed with his ability.  He is showing consistency too, every time that's his task, he does it then waits.  They want to help him learn to use scissors, so he uses chopstick trainers and he uses them to move little rubber dinosaurs from the table to a cup or cup to cup.  He did this for me, showing me what he can do.  I was so excited, I kissed him and told him "I love you!"  He decided to do it all again, so without looking at me he said, "Love you."

Yesterday it hit me that my little boy is a big boy too, he's a kindergartener too.  He may not be just like every other kindergartener out there, but he's up for the challenge of being at school, learning a lot of new stuff, and in his case - learning a lot of stuff that just can't be taught when you're too sick for school.  He's catching up really great and he's stepping forward at the same time.  What was so special about yesterday?  Just like every other student at that school, Bradley's school picture came home.   And while some parents were disappointed, we were part of the side that were really pleased. And yet so unlike them too.  We were the parents that let out a breath we never knew we were holding as we felt the joy that our son is well enough to go to school and not only be there, but begin to thrive there.

 Of all the milestones in the last weeks, that picture represents a single triumph, Bradley's strength and Will to get better.  He is a force to be reckoned with, and I am so proud of who he is and who he is becoming!

And then when we went to school today, he decided to show me just a little more, because today he decided to show dad how he does the shapes.  Today, Bradley let Dad put him down in the classroom, let me help put his lunchbox away, but then took dad's hand to go to his chair, showed dad his shape work and when he was done he kissed dad goodbye, stayed where he was and waited patiently for his teacher to give him his next task. Wow!  Today was the day to let us all know how amazing he can be at school!  No pressure tomorrow Bradley, but now we all kind of know and have seen how great you can be...just saying!

Keep growing and putting one foot in front of the other, we're ready to follow where you lead!