Bradley has a new favorite movie, "Tangled" and it's not that he loves Rapunzel or thinks Flynn is all that awesome, truth be told, Maximus is his favorite. In fact, to ask for the movie, he says "Horse" - definitely some affinity for the big animal over the humans.
So I've now seen the movie more times than is probably sane to admit, though I think Madison with "Finding Nemo" and Sydney with "Cars" still have this one beat. Can I still successfully quote those two movies as well as I can "Tangled"? Maybe, likely, probably...yes, yes I can. Not perfect, I mean not like "Green Eggs and Ham" but hey, books are more my lifeblood but hey... You get the idea.
Anyway, most of the movie I spend as my chance to catch up on things around the house. I fold laundry and do cleaning and in October I tend to blog. ;-). But here's the thing, I always sing along to the songs while I do my stuff since I never Bradley alone in a room, and I always stop for one very special scene that means more to me because of our original screening than because of the movie. Mind you, it's all related, but still.
Madison was eight, Sydney a new six, and Bradley was still a baby only eight or nine months old. We were only a few months removed from Japan, Eric was retiring from the Navy and we were at a loss as Eric was trying to find a job, and we were trying to get a whole new life started all while trying to understand why our new baby was having such a hard time. There was more screaming now because he was experiencing so much pain, and we were so ill prepared for how the road was starting to turn. He was so sick we couldn't really focus on that extra chromosome because we were starting to experience real fear that it would never matter. In the back of our minds we had the Grim Reaper keeping a quiet but distant presence, hounding us as each formula failed, as each weight check never went up, as each injection to stop the croup happened.
Though we were saving all the money we had, when "Tangled" came out, we splurged and took the kids. The girls started out on either side of Eric, I was holding Bradley ready to leave if he started crying. But he didn't, he was interested for a little while: the colors, the music, possibly the horse even then. After a little time, he snuggled in and went to sleep and would sleep through the rest of the movie. He slept and I just cuddled his warm little body, enjoying holding this small last miracle that God let me help make, grateful for the reprieve from his pain and all the anxiety.
Accustomed to a baby brother that didn't cry, the girls were really having to adjust to a new normal pretty fast, maybe that explains why they each snuggled closer and closer to Dad through the movie, maybe they were cold and wanted his warmth. Or maybe, they understood the profound pain that was exhibited by the animated parents at the loss of their daughter for a horrifying eighteen years, maybe the cartoon daddy's tears reminded them of their daddy and his promise; our promise, that if something happened to separate us we would never, ever stop looking till we brought them home. I'm not sure what or why, but when Flynn takes Rapunzel to the boat to set her lantern free out in the middle of the water, I found I had a lump in my throat. I noticed that Sydney was climbing into Dad's lap from one side and Madison from the other, and they were smiling as they snuggled into their safest place. With a free seat now, Eric and I adjusted so we were shoulder to shoulder and in a way holding all three of our kids at one time. In that moment, my heart took a picture, and because it did every time I hear that scene come on, I stop and I watch and I let my heart walk back through those memories. I unfold them gently so as not to damage them, and I set them before me to see them again and again.
Would I ever tell Disney that I found a moment of perfection, of joy so unexpected that it made me cry or that every time I see that scene I feel a swelling inside that I can't explain away nor does it seem to ever ebb, no way. Disney has too big an ego as it is, why add to it? Haha
The world would continue to spiral out of control for the next few years...but in that moment, for that 90 minutes or so, everything was as right as it could be. And as I watched my daughters lay their heads against their dad, their trust and love so real it seemed to glow from them, I wiped my eyes and didn't bother to be embarassed by their bizarre timing. And as Eric looked at me and noted, he merely took my hand to squeeze it, somehow understanding this crazy woman he married in a weird emotional moment, and then smoothed back the soft hair of each of our incredible, and beautiful little girls.
So does it bother me to now know all the words to "Tangled" plus the songs? No, I welcome the soft repreive that takes me back in time to a perfect memory, a magical time when the clock ticked just a little slower and love was so thick in the air it wrapped around me like a blanket. Besides, the movie makes me laugh, and that is always a bonus in our journey.
Happy Saturday!!! Hope you had a great one!
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